The Secret Is Out
by team-exclamation-mark
Summary: Sequel to My Dirty Little Secret, in London starting a new life it seems that it wasn't that easy. An opportunity arrises for Edward and it threatens to break them, but are they stronger than that? What about when you start to doubt yourself?
1. Loverboy

**A/N: so here it is the first instalment of the MDLS sequel, enjoy and please tell me what yu think constructive criticism is welcome.**

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**Chapter I ****—**** Loverboy**

**Edward POV**

Letting myself into the flat, I brought the shopping through to the kitchen and putting them onto the counter top before taking off my jacket and scarf it was now December and although already quite cold it had started to rain on the way back.

"Jake? Jake come help me with the shopping" he should have been back from work around now, right as usual he came out of the bedroom, his shoes were off and his shirt was half unbuttoned. Smiling at me and walking towards me, he snagged the tin of beans I had been holding and put them down on the counter top before taking my face in his hands and giving me a long hard kiss.

"Not that I'm complaining or anything, but what was that for?"

"Can't I kiss my boyfriend without having a hidden agenda?"

"You can, but I know it's only because you want something so go on. What is it?" he opened the fridge and put away the vegetables, before turning round and sighing.

"How do you do that?" walking over to me he pressed his chest against mine, kissing my cheek.

"I've know you for long enough, so what is it and is it going to cost me a lot of money?"

"Can we get a dog?" he blurted out, I wrinkled my nose.

"I hate dogs" his mouth fell open like I said I'd rather boil one alive.

"How can you hate dogs?" I shrugged then put my arms on his shoulders.

"I'm more of a cat person" he rolled his eyes.

"Of course, sometimes I wonder with us being such opposites, how we even get along"

"We have our days...a dog really?" he nodded. "Can't we just get goldfish, fish are easy to look after and you don't have to clean up their shit on the carpet"

"They also swim in the same water the pee in, no thanks. Please, can we get a dog? Peter at work has a couple of adorable Jack Russell's, one of which just gave birth and he can't keep all of the puppies"

"Puppies?" he frowned, doing his own puppy dog face as he sighed.

"Fine, fine" I said giving in after only a few seconds. "But it is not sleeping in our bed and I am not doing morning walks" he smiled widely and I sighed, I was so fucking whipped.

"Thank you, you are the best"

"Sure, sure. Let's just put the rest of this away and we'll make dinner" kissing me again, we cleared away the rest of the shopping in relative silence and he smiled at me the whole time, at least he was happy.

Later that evening, as we were relaxing in front of the television my phone rang, Jacob was nearer to it and picking it up glanced at the screen.

"It's your mom" he turned down the volume and took away our empty beer bottles while I took the call, it was his way of giving me a bit of privacy.

"Hi mom"

"Edward, how are you and Jacob sweetie?"

"We're good thanks, what's up you haven't called in a while?"

"There is no easy way to say this, but your father and I are separating" I almost spat out my drink, out of all the people I knew the last ones I expected to split were my parents.

Since permanently moving to London over six months ago to be with Jacob, after breaking off my engagement and telling my family I was gay my mother called every few days as did my brother, but my father refused to talk to me, not that I held it against him. He was set in his ways and I had gotten over the fact that he couldn't accept it and as long as I still had the rest of my family, the pain of my father's rejection would be stifled.

"You're getting divorce?"

"No, it's a trial separation to see if we might be happier apart, that's all"

"Why?"

"Well, to put it frankly Edward your father is a bigot and if he cannot get over his prejudices then he is not the man I fell in love with" she meant me, oh it was because of me.

"Mom, I'm so sorry"

"Edward Anthony Cullen, you have nothing to be sorry for. I know what you are thinking, but as long as you are happy then it doesn't matter to me whom you choose to be with" I missed her, phone calls every couple of weeks wasn't enough I really missed my mother.

"I miss you mom"

"So do I, dear. So I'm coming to London"

"Really, when?"

"In three days' time, I've booked my flight and hotel room already"

"Well, I'm really looking forward to it. Thank you for telling me in advance so I could prepare for your visit" I knew she heard the sarcasm but she choose to ignore it.

"Good, because your brother is coming as well, Rosalie has some sort of family function to attend to and we will spend a week in London" I smiled widely and Jacob sat back down next to me, I leaned my head on his chest and he put his arm round my shoulders.

"That's brilliant mom, well email me the details and we'll pick you up"

"Okay, bye dear"

"Bye mom" hanging up I looked at Jacob, putting my phone down on the arm of the sofa and intertwining my hand with Jacob's.

"So what's going on with Esme?" filling him in on the conversation he raised his eyebrows and pressed his lips together.

"Well, it would be nice to see them, are you sure that they are both okay...you know with..." he motioned to the two of us.

"With us? Remember what I told you, after I broke off the engagement or when Bella did? They were understandably a bit shocked but they got over it soon enough, it was only my dad who couldn't get over it" he started running one of his hand through my hair and it felt pretty good.

"Do you think he will...get over it?"

"I don't think so, he's stubborn it took him ages to forgive me just for not wanting to be a doctor like him and his grandfather and so on. I think the thing he was most disappointed about was the fact that me and Bella wouldn't go on to have loads of little Cullen's. Though I guess he has to put his hopes in Emmett now"

"Don't you ever want to have kids?"

"I never thought about it too much and I never talked about it with Bella, but I don't think so. I work with a load of kids every day and I get them only for a few hours a day, don't get me wrong I love my job I just don't think I could do that all the time"

"I think you would have made a good dad"

"Thanks"

"No I mean it, what about...marriage? Would you ever attempt it again?" I shrugged.

"I don't know, maybe" I smiled and then sat up, turning round and kissing Jacob deeply, nibbling his bottom lip like I knew he loved.

"What's your rush?"

"In two days my mother and brother are visiting and as much as I have missed them, I know we won't get a moment alone for the next week" I slid my hands down his body as he started kissing me back. "I am pretty sure I won't last three days never mind a week, so I am going to make the most of it now"

"Strangely I am okay with that"

"Good" he silenced me with his lips, moving so that I lay on top of him on the sofa I dropped butterfly kisses down the side of his neck. He was already rock hard and moaning deliciously as he thrust his hips upwards, reaching between us I cupped his crotch rubbing his member slowly as his groans grew louder and he fisted my hair.

"Stop, fucking teasing me" he growled out as I released him and went back to kissing him.

"You love it, really" his response was another groan and unintelligible string of words as I undid the zip of his trousers and reached inside his boxers, squeezing him lightly and running my hand up and down the shaft.

"Oh, oh fuck" were the only words of his that I could make out, with my other hand I tugged down the trousers and his boxers and increased my pace as I licked the head of his cock, he threw his head back and let his eyes close as I slowly took him in my mouth.

In a matter of minutes of minutes he was no longer groaning but screaming my name as he reached his high, he smiled at me as I wiped my mouth on the back of my hand and sat up. Then grabbing me by the front of my shirt, he pulled me back down and kissed me hard holding me close as our breathing became rapid and my pants became increasingly tight.

"When did you get so good at that?"

"I learnt from the best" smirking he tugged off my shirt and jeans and I got rid of his shirt as well, dipping his head he let his hot tongue circle my nipple teasingly before grazing his teeth again it, making me swear loudly and grip his hair as he continued his assault, his hands wandering lower.

"We should go to the bedroom, there are condoms in there" I whispered in his ear.

"Leave it baby"

"Really?" he nodded and then turned so now I was the one on my back, taking one of my hands he sucked my index finger, hollowing his cheeks and getting my finger coated with saliva before motioning for me to get him ready. Slowly sliding in my finger, he clenched his eyes shut but as he got used to the feeling he relaxed and moved along with my movements. Even as I added another finger he moved his body with my movements, letting my name fall from his lips as I found that sweet spot and hit it with each thrust of my fingers.

Then slowly, slowly as I possibly could I entered him, I was still until he told me I could move then with a grunt and my hands on his bottom I set a pace, his cock slapping my belly with each thrust, so reaching down I gripped his yet again hard cock and matched my movements. After a while we changed positions with him on his knees and me behind him, so I could move faster.

He gripping the side of the couch, as droplets of sweat fell down his gorgeously muscled back reaching round as he fisted himself, my hand went to his pierced nipple and I gently flicked it as I bit the base of his neck, where it joined his neck as I came hard as did he. A sweaty mass of limbs we collapsed onto the sofa, breathing hard with my head on his chest and his arm wrapped round me.

"We should clean up and go to bed" I was the first to speak, kissing the side of his neck and sitting up.

"I guess, so a shower?"

"If by that you mean another round?"

"You are insatiable"

"But you love me"

"I do love you"

"I love you too" oh that never got old saying it and hearing it back in return.

**~X~X~X~**

"Mr Cullen?" turning round as I was about to shut my classroom door as it was the end of the day, one of my student's parents walked in. She was a fake blond woman in her late twenties, with a few other things that were fake, smiling as she knocked on my door she was dressed smartly in a pant suit but the blouse she wore showed a little too much fake cleavage.

"That's me, how can I help you?"

"Actually, I think I could help you" I looked up from the music book I was putting away with a raised eyebrow.

"What with?"

"I am Jean Roland and I work for King Records I heard you play at the charity show last week"

"It was for a good cause" she smiled and walked towards me taking out a business card and placing it on my desk and sliding it towards me.

"I think you were brilliant and you sang well too, so how about you come to the studio some time and record a demo. Have you ever written any songs?" I had written music but not lyrics, not many anyway it had been a dream I had when I had first started studying music to be a proper musician but I got rid of that notion when I struggled to get a decent job after I graduated.

"A few, nothing major"

"Well, call my assistant and we'll see if we can't sort something out" was this really happening? I was tempted to pinch myself but on the off chance this was real then I would just look odd.

"Thanks, I'll think about it"

"Don't take too long, these opportunities don't come up every day" nodding at her and pocketing the card she smiled then turned and left.

Walking out of the main building and towards the car lot I stopped when I saw Jacob standing by his car, he was leaning against the driver side door his legs crossed at the ankles and his hands in his pockets.

"Hey" seeing me he lit up, smiling widely and waiting for me to approach before hugging me and kissing my cheek.

"Hi Ed"

"What you doing here, I thought you had work?" he went round to the passenger side, opening the door so I could slide in, then going back around and getting in the driver's seat he shut his door before reaching over the gearstick and giving me a soft kiss. Although most of the other teachers knew I was with Jacob, it made some of them uncomfortable so we kept the public displays of affection to a minimum.

"I decided to surprise you, so buckle up I'm taking you to dinner" doing up my seatbelt he pulled out of the space smoothly, driving away from the normal route we took home.

"Where are we going?"

"It wouldn't be a surprise if I told you, would it?" I rolled my eyes and we fell silent as I reached forwards and switched on the radio as Swedish House Mafia's Save the World was playing. Getting to a set of traffic lights just as the lights went red, the car came to a stop and as we waited for the light to turn green again he reached over the gearstick and took my hand. Smiling but looking straight on he lifted my hand to his lips and gave the back of my hand a soft kiss, letting his lips linger and stretch back into a smile before the lights changed the we were off again he lowered his hand and mine, keeping one hand on the steering wheel until we got to where we were headed.

"Where are we?" he said nothing but got out of the car and tilted his head for me to follow, getting out of the car as well we walked out of the small parking lot and through an archway that led to a small café, the sign by the entrance read 'The Meadow'. Walking inside and throwing a sideway glance at Jacob, he led me through to the café which had a French feel to it, with white walls and candelabras in brackets along the wall designed in a simply stylish way.

As a relaxed acoustic guitar track played through strategically placed and hidden speakers, we were led to the back past some other people at the tables, most of them couple, there was a balcony where there was room enough for three tables yet the other two were empty. The outside area had small heaters by the tables as to ward off the chilly bite in the air and there was a wooden pagoda that had vines with small white flowers dotted throughout cascading over the edge, with the candles being the only source of light I was starting to see why I had been brought here.

I was all of a sudden grateful that I wasn't the type of teacher to come to lessons in jeans, I was dressed in grey trousers and a pale yellow shirt and smart-ish shoes. With Jacob hating wearing a suit on tie his current job allowed him to wear what he wanted, mainly because he had no customers to impress and he spent most of his time in a dirty garage.

He was somewhat nicely dressed in a loose white shirt with the top couple of buttons undone and the sleeves rolled up with light blue faded jeans and black shoes, yet being Jacob he could have walked in wearing his overalls and he could have gotten away with it.

Sitting down Jacob ordered an expensive bottle of white wine and I raised my eyebrow as he was more a beer guy, whiskey on special occasions. It seemed odd that he took me here and was already splashing the cash, I should be the last one to nit-pick especially coming from my back ground. But over the years where I had shunned my family's personal wealth I had grown used to living within my means my only extravagant purchases was my guitar I had bought over five years ago and the keyboard I had bought to replace the upright that I could not bring with me when I came to London.

"So do you want to tell me the reason for all this mood setting?"

"We can't have a nice dinner for a change?" answering my question with a question he was being deliberately evasive, so I decided to go with it ordering the second most expensive dish on the menu which happened to sea bream and Jacob just went for a massive steak.

Making conversation, we were soon laughing and having a good time and the conversation I had earlier with Jean. As out plates were cleared away I wiped my mouth with the napkin and I was about to tell him when one of my favourite songs started to play, Franz Liszt's Liebestraum flowed out from inside out to where we sat and I grinned at him for knowing.

Then he did the last thing I expected, he got down on one knee in front of me and took my hand.

"Edward..." he started taking in a short breath.

"Are you proposing to me?" he sighed and nodded, rolling his eyes at my outburst.

"I was, but you kind of killed the moment"

"Sorry, start again" he raised his eyebrows uncertainly at me and I nodded, silently egging him on.

"Edward, we have been through a lot together and I-"

"Just one thing" sighing and putting one hand to his forehead, he looked a little put out.

"What is it, I'm trying to be all romantic and shit but you're not really helping"

"Whoa, 'romantic and shit' sounds like something Shakespeare might write in a play or sonnet"

"When you're done taking the piss out of me, could we continue because my foot is starting to fall asleep"

"What I wanted to say is I love you"

"Then what's the problem?" I bit my tongue.

"You know what, nothing. Go on" running a hand through his hair he got out a small box from his pocket and opened it, inside was a simple silver band after all it wasn't as if he would get me some flamboyant ring with loads of diamonds on it that was for girls.

"I did have a whole speech prepared, but it sounds pretty daft and I don't have the same way with words like you do, so I'll keep it simple. After everything we've been though, I can't imagine being with anyone other than you my friend and the man I am insanely in love, so will you marry me?"

"Yes" with a blindingly gorgeous smile he jumped up then immediately had to sit down as he got the twinge of pin and needles up the leg he had been kneeling from.

"Ah, fuck. This looks so much easier in the films"

"There is a reason for that, one obvious one being that they are fictional"

"Nah, you don't say?" laughing and shaking my head I pulled my chair round closer to him and held out my hand to him.

"Well. Do I have to do it myself?"

"Oh, right" and with that cheesy smile I adored he slipped on the ring, it was a little loose but it fit fine. Leaning over the table he kissed me and I kissed him back, looking at the ring when he pulled away and held my left hand, kissing the back of my hand like he had done earlier.

**~X~X~X~**

Sitting by my keyboard I absentmindedly played random notes stringing them together, it was my day off and Jacob was at work whilst I had two day to myself before my mother and Emmett got here. Jean's card rested on the top of the keyboard and I had playing and staring at it for the last half an hour, letting my hands come to a stop I remained seated but reached into my jeans pocket and pulled out my phone. Looking at the card I entered the number and my finger hovered above the call button, then changing my mind I saved the number in my phone and tore up the card, throwing it into the nearby wastebasket.

Standing up I paced for a while until my phone rang, recognising the number right away I answered it without hesitation.

"Hello, stranger"

"Hello yourself Edward, I heard about the engagement so I called to congrats"

"Thanks Leah, but who told you?"

"Jacob did, this morning" I rolled my eyes; he told her everything that happened because for Leah Clearwater there was nothing left unspoken. "He gave me a very detailed account"

"Please don't tell me that he told you what we did when we came back?"

"Ew, no. Even I have boundaries"

"Good to hear"

"But seriously, I'm glad it worked out for you guys. You really are the lucky ones"

"Thanks Leah" she then cleared her throat.

"Right, this call is costing me a fuck ton of money so before we get all mushy I'll talk to you later"

"Okay, bye"

"Bye" hearing the click on the other end as the call disconnected, I continued to play randomly for another fifteen minutes before coming to an abrupt stop and leaning my head in my hands and closing my eyes for a few minutes.

**~X~X~X~**

"You're getting married! Oh my goodness!" cried out my mother happily when Jacob told her our recent bit of news, she squeezed both my and Jacob into a hug kissing our cheeks and displaying such happiness for us that Jacob grinned even wider and looking at the way he smiled, I felt the grin on my own face.

Then feeling the gaze of my brother, I reined in the grin and turned my head to look at him as my mother gave my mother a glass of wine and led her into the living room whilst Emmett remained in the kitchen with me as I continued to cook.

"Engaged? Congratulations man. I wasn't sure if you would ever think about it again, you know with the way it turned out with Bella"

"Yeah, but's it different with Bella and its perfectly okay for me to marry someone else" he held up his hands defensively, I guess my tone was harsher than it needed to be. Even with me accepting that I loved Jacob and not regretting it, this was all still quite new to me and sometimes I didn't quite know how to deal with it myself. It could be that I was just a little sensitive, so when we were out I wouldn't always hold Jacob's hand or be as enthusiastic if he kissed me but I couldn't help but notice the occasional stares as other people passed us.

"Hey, I didn't mean for it to come across that way. You are my brother, if you like guys then its' fine with me" he shrugged "it doesn't change anything with us" sometimes I thought he dealt with this whole situation better than I did, he just took on the chin and kept on going.

"Thanks Emmett, that's nice to hear"

"Yeah, I can be deep" I rolled my eyes as he reverted back to the jock stereotype he embodied, the nice moment over. "I have to say though I have never seen you look at Bella like that"

"You can't really compare them"

"I know but, with Bella she seemed to be a bit more of a friend someone you had settled for. Jake makes you happy I can see that" I looked at my left hand and turned away looking to the pork chops I was cooking.

"I am happy"

"Good" turning to the food and getting the vegetables out of the steamer I kept my head turned away from Emmett as I spoke again.

"Has dad said anything?"

"No...Sorry Edward. He just refuses to talk about it" I shrugged trying to act like it didn't bother me at all.

"Its' fine, I guess it was only to be expected eh?" glancing back at him, he frowned looking pitiful for me.

"No and he is being an ass, I can see why mom left him"

"He's still our dad" he snorted derisively.

"Hardly, he turned his back on you and he will barely talk to anyone. Old age has gotten to him"

"Right well, can we not talk about this anymore?" we looked at each other with mutual sense of understanding and he nodded, standing up straight as I dished up the food and handed him the cutlery and table mats.

"Jake, mom foods ready!" they came though smiling happily and as Jacob caught my eye, I slapped a wide smile on my face and for a second his faltered but he just sat at the table in between Emmett and Esme, and opposite me.

Later that evening as me and Jacob lay in bed, my eyes were closed and Jacob lay on his side facing me wide awake as he touched my shoulder.

"Hey" he whispered and I turned over to face him, opening my eyes to look at him in the dim light the only light in the bedroom was the trickle of moonlight that seeped around the edges of the curtains.

"What is it?"

"It bothers you doesn't it?"

"What does?"

"Your father, disapproving of me"

"He likes you" I gently stroked his cheek, smiling at him.

"He liked me, when I was your friend but now that I've turned you"

"You can't make someone gay Jacob, you either are or you're not. I cannot choose who I love any more than you could be a singer" he swatted my shoulder playful giving me a mock scowl.

"Hey, I can sing"

"Babe, I've heard you belt out the lyrics to Grease and even though you know the song backwards you still sounded like cat in pain"

"To be fair, last time that happened you did distract me and cause me some serious injury"

"I'm pretty sure I made up for that"

"Nah, don't remember it. Must not have been that good" smirking in the dim light he looked up at the celling, shuffling closer to him I slowly ran a finger along the waistband of his briefs smiling myself when I heard the little gasp he let out when I touched him.

"Maybe I could give you a little reminder?"

"That could be good" he barely got out, before I started kissing the nape of his neck, leaving a few marks across his left shoulder as I very, very slowly made my way down his bare chest.

The next day I was in the staff room in between lessons for a quick mug of coffee so taking it back to my classroom, I sat at my desk and glanced at the piano and the guitar next to it. Was this all I wanted? Was this all I would get out of life before I settled down and grew old?

Whipping out my phone as I had five minutes before my second class arrived, I flicked through my phone book and hit the call button.

"Hello? Could I speak to Jean Roland, it's about the possibility of booking some studio time?"

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**A/N: so this came out a lot sooner than I thought I would have it done, but when I started writing I just kept going in fact, as I write this I t is approaching half three in the morning here.**

**That my friends is dedication, well thanks for reading and I'm open to suggestions as to whose POV the next chapter should be and who could throw a potential spanner in the works as a love rival for one of our boys?**

**Until next time, bye!**


	2. What Should I Say?

**A/N: sorry for the long wait guys, have been on a mad hunt for a summer job plus I appear to have backed myself in a corner with having three stories on the go at the same time!**

**One more thing as well I thought that I could have this done in a few chapters, like four to six but I think that there is a lot more I can do with this before it gets old and you guys move on. So this will be longer maybe not as long as My Dirty Little Secret but still we get more of our guys, plus I taking the suggestion of **sibaruneko** and introducing someone else to chuck in a bit more drama!**

**Anyhoo, here we go! :D**

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**Chapter II – What Should I Say?**

**Edward POV**

The next few days whilst my mom and Emmett where in London were spent visiting the tourist attractions, that me and Jacob hadn't done ourselves since moving here. So on the third day of their visit we hopped on a train to central London for a visit to London eye. When we got there I looked up at what was the London eye and felt the blood drain from my face, Jacob saw my reaction and grinned widely taking my hand and giving it a gentle squeeze turning his head to face mom and Emmett.

"I am _not_ going on that thing" Emmett chuckled and even Jacob let out a snigger but at least my mother had the decency to at try not to laugh, although she did not really seem to be succeeding.

"I didn't know you had a fear of heights"

"I don't" his expression turned puzzled and my brother just laughed harder.

"Then...what's the problem?"

"He's a pu-" my mother cleared her throat to get his attention and shook her head slowly when he glanced at her. "Sorry...he's a wimp. When he was six he got stuck on the top of a Ferris wheel and now he refuses to go on them" Jacob looked from Emmett to me with a raised eyebrow, still holding my hand.

"Yeah, well you rocking the thing didn't help Emmett" I said harshly scowling as he just laughed at me.

"But the London Eye is safe, the thing doesn't even go fast if it stopped you wouldn't even notice"

"Nuh uh, ain't doing it" shaking my head vigorously, I took a step back just in case they didn't get how serious I was.

"Esme why don't you and Emmett go on ahead, I'll stay here with Edward"

"Are you sure about that?" he shrugged off Esme's comment and glanced up at the Eye.

"Sure, don't worry about it" with a smile they went and joined the line as we started walking down the road we had walked up, in the direction of a bar called All Bar One as we had a good solid hour to kill. Getting there a few minutes later we sat at a small table near a window, Jacob ordered two pints of beer for us we fell quiet for a while, sipping our beers and gazing out the window at the people passing us by.

"Edward?" I turned my head to face him raising my eyebrows in a sign that I was listening. "I was thinking about our wedding..."

"Yes?"

"Well do you have any ideas? We haven't really talked about it"

"With mom and Emmett we've barely had a moment alone, so it doesn't leave much time for wedding planning" he nodded and leaned forward, taking a swig of his beer then putting down the glass and leaning his chin on his hand.

"I know that but have you had any thought on how you like to have it?" I shrugged and he looked a little put out though he tried to mask it.

"I'd like something simple, nothing over the top" he nodded getting at what I meant, Bella had been so focused on having the big white wedding and though she wasn't to blame for the deterioration of our relationship, it didn't mean that I wanted to go through the hassle all over again.

"Sure, I get it...simple. We can do that"

"Unless, you wanted something else? Because I'd be alright if you wanted something more" he smiled warmly and reached over placing his hand over mine.

"It is fine, simple doesn't have to be boring" he shrugged and drained his beer "I am perfectly happy with that" flipping our hands over so his palm was facing upwards, I lifted ours hands and laid a soft kiss on his palm earning me a gorgeous smile that made me want to kiss him.

That was until a guy on the table next to our looked at us and sneered, muttering 'poofs' just loud enough for us to hear, the smile on Jacob's face fell immediately and I felt the rage building towards the stranger.

Turning my head round to face him, I saw that he was easily in his late forties with a ruddy complexion and large gut, along with a shiny bald head. He had tiny piggy eyes that glared at me with so much hatred for a stranger, so letting go of Jacob's hand I turned the rest of my body around.

"Is there a problem?" the piggy man scowled at my address rubbing the top of his head, before he answered.

"No, I just came here for a drink so I don't want to see you and your _boyfriend_ making out while I do so. It's not appropriate"

"If my _fiancé_ and I want to kiss in public we have every right too, if you saw a man and a woman kiss I doubt you would bat an eyelid, so we expect the same courtesy" was my curt response though I could almost feel Jacob across from me tensing up.

"That ain't right" the man shook his head looking even more disgusted.

"What isn't?" Jacob put I hand on my shoulder, it was a sign for me to stop but I ignored him glaring at the piggy eyed man, he didn't reply instantly. "Are you referring to our public show of affection? Because bigots like you aren't going to stop that"

"Edward stop"

"Well, it doesn't mean I want to see that gross display" gritting my teeth Jacob's grip on my shoulder tightened but I shrugged him off, probably a little harder than was necessary before standing and walking over to the man placing my hands on the table he was sat at and glaring down at him.

"Edward!"

"You should really stop talking" I threatened my voice low as the man started to lose his confidence.

"I can say what I like, it's a free country" my lips twitching I drew my hand back and hit him right on his chin sending him falling backwards off of his chair, his drink sloshing all over the front of his white shirt.

"Asshole" I spat out before I was grabbed by the arm and pulled away towards the exit, I was about to lash out when I realised it was Jacob. "Let me go!"

"What the hell is wrong with you?" he almost yelled at me as I yanked my arm out of his grip when we were stood by the door. The bartender rushed over to the toppled over man, helping him up as he went red and furiously jabbed his fat fist in my direction.

"Did you not hear what he was saying?"

"Yes, I did. You should have ignored him" I looked at him in shock about to open my mouth to respond when the bartender came over to us, not looking pleased at all.

"Time to go, Jake" before he reached us we wasted no time in leaving, walking briskly down the road in no particular direction just away from the bar. We walked for ten minutes in a stony silence, until he stopped by a bench and sat down, stopping as well I sat down too but he moved away from me looking straight ahead.

"You couldn't just be the bigger man and walk away could you?"

"I'm pretty sure he had like a stone on me" I went for humour though it fell flat as he just shook his head and still didn't look at me.

"Is this all just a joke to you?" I sat up straight.

"What? No! No Jake, you know I love you" I put a hand on his shoulder and scotched closer about to hug him but a large crowd of people walked past and so I settled for a pat on the shoulder. He turned his head to look at me change my mind seeing me going from an awkward half hug to the hand on his shoulder, he then looked to the people passing by sitting up straight and shrugging off my hand.

"See you say that, but your actions seem to contradict you. Whenever we go out you stuff your hands in your pockets like you're afraid to touch me"

"Jake I-"

"Don't try and defend yourself because it true. You are still ashamed of being gay, and I am not. I accepted a long time ago and I get that this is still relatively new for you, but that doesn't mean you can just...go all hulk every time someone says something" I stood and stated pacing in front of him.

"But that guy was a total dick!"

"If I kicked off every time someone said something mildly offensive, I'd never hear the end of it"

"What about college?"

"What about it?"

"If I recall correctly, the first time we met you got in a fight with some other guys because they 'said something mildly offensive' in your words" he shook his head angrily.

"That was years ago, you can't use that against me. The point is you can't act like you're not gay in public then kick off when someone says something"

"That's ridiculous"

"If it's so ridiculous...does anyone at work know you are gay? Do ever plan on telling them?" I shook my head and stopped pacing.

"It's work, it's not really any of their business is it?" he nodded and stood up, both of us falling silent for a very long moment.

"So that's a no then" just about to reply I heard my name being called, whipping my head round I saw Jean Rowland walking towards me.

"Jean?" Jacob raised an eyebrow questioning as the fake blond reached us and beamed at me seemingly oblivious to Jacob beside me.

"Edward Cullen, so brilliant to see you!" she was piling on the enthusiasm a bit too much as she continued to grin showing off her bleached and straightened teeth. "Anna told me about your call, glad to see you took me up on my offer!"

"What offer?" interrupted Jacob, looking confused as he glanced from me to Jean and then back to me.

"I'm-"

"Edward is going to record a demo with my studio!" his eyebrows went even higher, threatening to disappear into his hair.

"Really, that's the first I'm hearing of it"

"Jake, I was going to tell you"

"Why would you, it's not like it's an amazing opportunity that could be really great for you if it worked out, right?" Jean seemed to note the heavy sarcasm and looked even more interested now.

"I'm sorry if I've interrupted something. I'm Jean Rowland my daughter is in Edward's class..." she held out her hand as her sentence trailer off, he took her hand and smiled politely at her shooting me a sideways glance as they released each other hand.

"I'm Jacob Black, Edward's fiancé" the realisation dawned on her and her mouth formed a little 'o' before she recovered and slapped her smile back on.

"Oh! So you are...you two...Oh! That makes so much sense!" this caught me off guard.

"Wait, wait...what makes so much sense?"

"Well, a few of the other mother do have a bit of thing for you. But you never seemed to respond to any of them, plus you are a little too well groomed"

"What? There is nothing wrong with being well groomed, it's called looking after your appearance!" my voice started to get high pitched and Jacob simply pressed his lips together.

"You do get your eyebrows done"

"You promised you wouldn't tell anyone!" he shrugged then checked his watch for the time.

"I'm sure Jean won't tell anyone, you probably shouldn't tell anyone he's gay either who knows what that would do to his reputation at school"

"Jake!" I called out as he started to walk off, in the direction of the Eye were my mom and Emmett would be coming off of soon. "Sorry Jean, I should go. See you"

"Bye!" she called out as I ran up to Jacob, as he kept weaving his way through the groups of people that seemed to have popped out of nowhere in the last hour.

"Jake!...Jake!" catching up to him, I grabbed his arm and forced him to stop. "Hey what was that about?"

"Oh I don't know, why don't you ask Jean? Why didn't you tell me about the demo?"

"I haven't even recorded it yet! It could never see the light of day, once I've finished it"

"Then why the fuck didn't you tell me? I thought we didn't hide things from each other, and it is a big deal that's a new career that is a big change" I sighed and slumped my shoulders.

"I might be crap" he snorted and I raised an eyebrow at him.

"This is you we're talking about, your music is brilliant I should know I've heard you playing enough times since college" he sighed heavily and rubbed his chin looking down at the ground. "It's big Edward and there must be a reason you didn't tell me"

"I didn't want to jinx it, I haven't even been to the studio so I didn't want to get my hopes up if it failed. The first time I tried it dive bombed before it could even get off the ground remember? How can I prove it to you?" he thought about it, crossing his arms and looking at me for a long time.

"Kiss me"

"Right now?"

"No, next year. Yes of course, right now" he uncrossed his arms and I took a step closer to his before taking his face in both of my hands and closing my eyes leaning in for a kiss, at the last moment he pulled away.

"Really?"

"Just messing with you" was his reply before kissing me, it was a quick closed mouth kiss meaning he was still angry but he'd get over it. Pulling away first he jerked his chin in the direction we needed to walk down. "Let's go" I just followed him as he walked on a step ahead with his hands shoved into his jeans pockets.

**~X~X~X~**

The next day and my mother and Jacob were talking about possible venues for the wedding, as we had lunch at a restaurant that was normally a little out of our price range but a place that my mom had declared 'simply darling' and so we had to try it.

"There are plenty of registry offices in London, so it's really just a matter of finding a place for the reception" lead Jacob.

"How about The Savoy? I hear that it is beautiful and it would be wonderful to have the reception there!" I shook my head getting Jacob's attention, he raised an eyebrow aiming his next comment at me.

"What is it?"

"The Savoy? There is no way we could afford that, not with what we make" he pressed his lips together but nodded in agreement before turning back to my mom.

"He's right, we don't want to go into bankruptcy do we?"

"Well...I have money, my company seems to be doing well even with a recession going on..." she took a sip of her sparkling water glancing at the two of us pointedly, whilst Emmett dug into a steak so rare it almost walked of his plate.

"I know what you're thinking mom, the answer is no. We will pay for it ourselves, keep it unpretentious, right Jacob?" he frowned but sighed and nodded, my mother frowned probably at my word choice but as her upbringing had taught her she said nothing about it, choosing to remain straight backed as she ate.

"Yeah, we don't need a big wedding, at a fancy five star hotel and all that" he didn't sound at all convinced but I choose to ignore it, as we all finished our meal.

"Let me at least pay for lunch then" said my mother when the bill came, she snatched it up before any of us could protest handing over a shiny black credit card that almost made the waitresses eyes pop out.

"You didn't have to do that" she smiled at me warmly as I held out her coat for her, patting me on the shoulder.

"It was nothing dear" walking out of the restaurant she then announced that she and to go shopping at least once at Harrods's. "So would anyone like to join me?" Emmett and I, frowned distastefully shopping was not our idea of fun, especially not when it included our mother and a black card.

Catching our expression Jacob, rolled his eyes and stepped forward taking her arm and giving her a charming smile. "Esme, I would love to go with you. We can leave the boys here, to do their own thing" she smiled back at him, enraptured with the idea, as he glanced at me I mouthed 'thank you' at him and he gave me a knowing smile and a slight nod of his head.

"Sound's good, you have fun mom and we'll meet back at the flat for dinner and a movie?"

"Alright sweetheart, you and your brother have fun"

"See you mom" her and Jacob walked down the road in the direction of where we had parked whilst me and Emmett headed towards the train station. I had shopping to do so we headed for a local Tesco's and after dropping off the shopping we decided to go for a beer at a local pub where some football match was being shown.

It seemed to be clear from the hoots and shouts at the television that even across the ocean, men though acutely aware they could not be heard thought that by yelling loud enough the player would be able to hear the advice they had. Emmett grinned in an amused way as the football team in white shirts, presumably the England team missed another goal, causing a bald, middle aged man to slam his hand down on his table causing his half-drunk beer to fall and soak his arm and lap.

At this point Emmett laughed and I got in the drinks, we sat by the bar as we slowly drank our beers and occasionally sniggered at the men yelling at the screen.

"You know, I have a feeling mom is getting very attached to Jake, she treats him like her only son" I smiled at that, it was true that they got along very well they always had and it meant a lot that since my move that hadn't changed.

"It's nice, at least one parent likes my boyfriend"

"Fiancé" I nodded.

"Yeah, fiancé. Never thought I try getting married again"

"Because it worked out so well for you the first time, you didn't even get to the actual wedding" I glared at him, not that I needed reminding of Bella and the disaster of that failed engagement.

"Have you heard anything about Bella?" he shrugged, not really interested in her.

"Apparently she's dating some accountant, named Matt or Mitch something dull like that, according to Rose anyway" I nodded and took another sip of my beer, turning back to Emmett with a smile.

"What about my niece how is she?" as expected Emmett smiled widely as he thought about his pregnant wife.

"Good, two more months to go they are both fine though Rose keeps complaining about being fat"

"She is pregnant what does she expect?"

"She's just anxious, you know because we had been trying for a while" I nodded again, glancing at the game to see England were up by one to nil.

"Thought of any names?"

"We were thinking of Scarlett or Peyton"

"Nice" at the moment my phone rang, I recognised the number as of that of the studio. "Sorry Emmett I have to take this" leaving him by the bar I went outside, zipping up my jacket as a chilly breeze picked up, I took the call.

**Jacob POV**

Opening up my laptop I browsed the website for The Savoy with a deep sigh, there was no way Edward would go through with it. Hearing a key in the lock I shut the laptop and stood up as Edward walked in, I felt a guilty for looking at the sites when I knew it wasn't what he wanted and that was probably clear from the look on my face, hence why he raised an eyebrow questioningly when he walked in and saw me.

"You okay?"

"Sure, why wouldn't I be?" he still looked like he didn't believe me, but shrugged keeping his jacket and scarf on.

"Anyway, do you want to come down stairs?"

"Why?" he dropped the eyebrow and gave me that gorgeous crooked grin as he walked towards me.

"Because I have something in the car I need help with, now c'mon" intrigued I pulled on my sneakers and grabbed a jacket before following him outside and to his car. He opened the back seat door and pulled something out, holding it to his chest before turning back around to face me, in his arms was a puppy, a brown and white Jack Russell that looked round inquisitively as Edward grinned at me.

"Ohmygoshheissofreakingcute!" he raised his eyebrows as he looked at me.

"Was that even human?" he handed over the puppy and smiling widely I hugged the puppy to me and he promptly licked my cheek.

"Aww"

"I take it you like him then?" nodding vigorously, I leaned closer to him and kissed his cheek.

"He is so adorable, what's his name?"

"You pick, he's yours. Don't say I never gave you anything" he said scratching under the dog's chin, to the pleasure of the dog who closed his eye and stretched out comfortably.

"How about...er...Charlie?"

"Sound's good, why don't you take him upstairs and I'll bring the rest of this in?" he reached back inside the car, taking out a couple of bags filled with all of the necessities.

"Sure" I then proceeded to talk like a deranged fool, at the bundle of cuteness I held in my arms, while Edward just chuckled and shook his head as we walked back upstairs.

"Is this why you were late?"

"Yeah, in fact I actually have to go back out" he said as he put down the bags by the door and I stopped and turned around, with Charlie still in my arms.

"Where?"

"To the recording studio, they were able to fit me in for a couple of hours today or in three months" I let out a sigh and put down the puppy, who walked over to Edward and started sniffing around his legs. I felt like I had been deal with a bit of good news only to cushion the blow for this, so with a heavy sigh I stepped to the side and picked up one of the bags.

Taking it over to the dining table I peered inside and pulled out a squeaky pig toy, the sound of which caught Charlie's attention, his head looked in my direction and so I threw the toy at him, it landed on the floor in front of him with a squeak as it hit the floor, he then grabbed it with his teeth before trotting off to sit underneath the coffee table and play with the toy.

"Alright then , have fun" I aimed for a casual indifferent tone even though I knew he could see right through that.,

"Don't be like that"

"Like what, go if don't want to be late for your slot" there was a slight note of bitterness in my voice and detecting it he narrowed his eyes at me momentarily, then he dropped my gaze and shook his head.

"I thought you were alright with this"

"I am" he looked back at me looking at me hard before frowning.

"Well, you don't seem all too pleased. If something is bothering why don't you just tell me?" stubbornly I just pressed my lips together and kept silent, turning my head to see Charlie chewing on the leg of the toy causing it let out another squeak. "Alright then, I'll see you later"

Turning on his heel, he opened the door and left letting it swing shut behind him.

**~X~X~X~**

Standing by the car in the workshop, I had a pair of gloves on which like the front of my overalls was covered in grease, I was poking around in the engine when I heard a pair of footsteps. Without looking up I let out a sigh and took a step back, peeling off my gloves as I glanced up and saw two people walking towards me, with good aim I threw the gloves in the nearby bin as a tall heavy set man and a much shorter female that looked to be around the same height as Alice walked in.

"Hey Jane, who's the newbie?" I said addressing the female as I ran a hand through my hair and took a swig of water from a bottle on the worktop near me. Jane came to stop a few paces away from me, as always looking inexpressive as she looked down her nose at me her hands clasped behind her back as she spoke a dull monotone.

"Jacob this is Demetri Marchenko" she spoke his name with a flawless Russian accent, turning to him and whispering something that I barely made out. "Eto gde vy budete rabotatʹ, Iakov budet obʺyasnitʹ, gde vy nachnete" he nodded and looked at me.

"Okay then, what is he doing in my garage?" the man she identified as Demetri took a step forward and held out his hand, which I stared at for moment before he dropped his hand but gave me a small smile.

"Priyatno vstretitʹsya s vami...it is nice to meet you. I look forward to working with you" he spoke English well though his heavy accent made it a little difficult to understand what he said.

"We are going to be working together?" I said directing the question at Jane because for some reason I was not informed of this I really didn't want to be baby-sitting a Russian whilst I tried to get some work done.

"Technically, you are his boss"

"That makes me feel _so_ much better, why wasn't I informed about this earlier?" she unclasped her hands and took a step closer to me, still remaining some distance away from me as she distastefully eyed the greasy stains on my overalls.

"You were sent an email over a week ago, consider yourself informed. Now you can get Mr Marchenko acquainted so he can start properly on Wednesday, thank you Jacob" before I could come up with a witty retort, she spun round and walked out with a swish of the expensive looking silk scarf she wore.

Turning back to the big Russian I sighed heavily, and picked up the bottle of water and taking a deep swinging wishing it was vodka even though it was barely eleven in the morning.

"I'm Jacob as you know by now" holding out my hand he took it and shook my hand his grip tight, this guy would probably have been right at home in a ring or a body building competition. The guy could probably crush me with one hand and without flinching, he released my hand and he stood still and looking round with some interest at the garage where up to now I had been working alone and I had quiet liked it. "Right then, look up till now this was my space and I like my space, so you do your thing and I'll do mine and we'll along great, okay?"

"Okay" he said without hesitation, just shrugging as if totally unconcerned.

"Good"

**~X~X~X~**

We seemed to work well together though quiet silent, he kept his head down working with such intense concentration I almost forgot he was there. That was till I occasion looked around every now and then and caught sight of him looming over the car, though I was engaged I did occasionally check him out.

After all I did kind have a thing for big guys, not that I would ever do anything for one we worked together and I like my job it beat being in a stuffy office all day and trying to sell cars I sucked the sales part. I got paid to fix out the kinks in the new models as well as the occasional test drive, what was there not to love?

At the end of the next day we still had hardly spoken, but when it came time to wrap up and leave he smiled and left with a nod of his head and I did the same, subtly checking out his ass as he walked away.

Getting back home, I was greeted by Esme who opened the door for me and gave me a hug whilst Edward and Emmett watched a basketball game. After returning the hug I went to the kitchen and poured myself a glass of gin, knocking it back in one go and then pouring another to a pointedly raised brow from Edward as he walked towards me. Childishly I stuck out my chin at him, whilst Esme went to sit next to Emmett and Edward swiped my glass taking a sip and then leaning closer to kiss me, I could taste the gin on his lips and swiped out my tongue to lick his bottom lip and intensify the kiss.

Pressing his lips against mine harder as well as pulling my body close to his, it was only when we heard the loud throat clearing of Emmett that we broke away. Grinning at each other with his cheeks a little flushed and his eyes bright, giving him a quick peck on the cheek I snagged my drink back and drained it, taking step around him and depositing the glass by the sink before turning to his brother.

"Hey Emmett, what's up?"

"Now that you guys are done I suggest we go out" I looked from him to Esme and back to Emmett.

"Go out?"

"Yeah, go out for a drink, are there any good clubs around here?" I nodded and turned to Esme with a raised eyebrow in confusion.

"Do you both want to go?" she nodded and smiled widely it was then I noticed what she wore, for a woman in her early fifties she looked good in a bottle green long sleeved wrap around dress and black wedges and a matching oversized clutch. I also noticed the mark on her left hand, she had taken off her wedding ring a while ago but there was still the faint tan line from over thirty years of marriage.

"Yes, it sounds like fun" she was very upbeat and I turned to look at Edward who looked a bit apprehensive, but he needed some fun as well so with a shrug I turned back to Esme and Emmett, turning my head.

"I know a good place; just let me have a shower and change"

"Cool" said Emmett excitedly as I walked to the bathroom, he focused back on the game as did Edward.

Twenty minutes later I was standing in front of the bathroom mirror tweaking my hair, Edward came in and leaned against the door frame, his arms crossed as he looked at me.

"Hey any chance of leaving today?" I got a bit out wax in my hand and worked it through my hair.

"Looking this good takes time"

"You better without all that gunk" was his response as he took a few step closer and sat on the edge of the bath tub. I snorted derisively, leaning forward to take a closer look before turning my head side to side and nodding in satisfaction, wiping my hands on the hand towel nearby and turning to him. "I mean it"

"Sure, sure" he stood and kissed my cheek then taking my hand we walked back into the living room.

"Finally!" said Emmett. "I thought we'd never leave!" with a roll of my eyes, I let go of Edwards hand and grabbed the car keys leading them outside to my car. Piling in with Esme and Emmett in the back as I drove, Edward switched on the radio to a station that was playing an old Usher song. He drummed his fingers against the dashboard in time to the beat and I remembered that I hadn't asked him about the recording session, when he came home the other night I was asleep and yesterday morning I woke a little late so he had already left for work. After that I kept forgetting to ask and he didn't bring it up either, I glanced over at him clearing my throat to get his attention.

"I forgot to ask how is the demo coming along?"

"Needs some ore work still" was all he offered turning up the radio and starting to hum along. Getting the hint I dropped it, concentrating on the road ahead as I drove to the club, Emmett and Esme chatted lightly not hearing what we said a few moments earlier.

When we got there we got in surprisingly quickly considering that it was a Tuesday and it was a student night, then I saw the bouncer check out Edward and I realised why. Of course Edward was totally oblivious he just smiled at me when we got in, it baffled me how he could read people so easily but when it came to flirting he was entirely clueless, although what did occur to me was that he could just be being purposefully ignorant.

That idea seemed more likely when he took my hand in full view of the bouncer who looked a little put out, but merely looked away as Emmett steered us to the bar and proceeded to make us, including Esme do a shot of tequila each.

She dutifully knocked it back making a face as she did so and with a look of distaste insisted that Emmett not force any more shots onto her, he nodded and ordered another round a gin and tonic for Esme, two Budweiser's for him and Edward with a large whisky for me.

I got a reproachful look from Edward, so as an act or rebellion I gulped it down quickly and ordered another. He didn't say anything but he nursed his beer, taking his time as he still had an early start tomorrow.

Esme looked very out of place until a guy around our age started chatting to her, she didn't notice the way he looked at her, though to her sons' disgust they realized right away so they intervened, with a subtle threat from Emmett. I tried to disguise my amusement but both Esme and Edward realized.

"Something funny?" I nodded at Edward.

"Just the idea of your mom being a cougar" he balked and shook his head emphatically, taking a deeper gulp of his drink.

"Thanks for that mental picture, Jake" I winked and nudged him with a smile.

"Anytime" I put down my empty glass down on the bar, just as someone bumps into me initially the guy is so big I think he is Emmett until I turn around and see Demetri.

"Jacob?" he says and I can just about hear him over the booming music. Then Edward grabs my arm to get my attention, I then stand up straight looking from Demetri to Edward.

"Oh, erm...Edward this is Demetri from work" I motion from my fiancé to my co-worker. "And Demetri this is Edward my fiancé" Demetri gave him a small smile his expression not changing much when I introduced Edward, he held out his hand, Edward shook his hand looking him up and down with a tight lipped expression.

Releasing each other's hand with Edward nodding curtly ad then shoving his hands into his pockets, he looked from him to me as Demetri spoke again to me.

"Sorry, it's quite crowded in here"

"It's alright, hope you'll be alright for work tomorrow?" I asked only half serious, as I didn't plan on staying sober though I was starting to feel the alcohol, I already had I my system. His smile got wider as he realised I was joking and nodded.

"Yes, I will be"

"Good"

"I'll see you tomorrow?" I nodded and then he walked away to a booth where another guy who was skinny and blond passed him a bottle of beer, which he accepted. Looking back to Edward he still wore that tight lipped disapproving look on his face.

"What is it?"

"Did you know he was gay?"

"What?" he huffed and crossed his arms after putting down his empty bottle, looking very surly as he did so.

"Two things; firstly he was checking you out and secondly you may want to take a closer look at his companion" looking round him and at the both he sat down at the other guy put his hand over Demetri's and leaned close to speak in his ear, then pulling away slightly Demetri kissed the blond guy.

"How did I not know that?"

"Because you have shit gaydar" I laughed causing him to laugh too earning us confused glances from Esme and Emmett.

"Okay then, how bout a dance?"

"Sure" I then led him onto the dance floor, getting lost in the crowd and coming to a stop near the dj box near a speaker where I threw my arm round his neck and started doing some very explicit moves.

He wasn't exactly objecting, as I had my back to his chest with barely an inch of room between us. He kissed the side of my neck before growling something in my ear, I couldn't quite make it out but it sounded something like 'so sexy'.

Later on I was on either my fourth or fifth drink since we got to the club, when Edward came up to me after going to the men's. Esme having opted to go back to the hotel, but Emmett stayed with us, Edward snatched my drink as I raised to my lips, spilling some in the process.

"Hey what's your problem?"

"You have work tomorrow you can't go getting wasted the night before!" he voice got louder attracting the attention of the people nearby.

"I am a grown man, I know when I've had enough" I reached for my drink but Edward slid it away.

"I don't think so, it's getting late let's go home"

"I'm having fun, you can go if you want" his jaw tightened and Emmett came over to us, putting a hand on his brother's shoulder seeing the expression he wore.

"Guys, having a bit of a scene here maybe we should go?"

"Yes we should" agreed Edward, but I shook my head.

"Stop being such a fucking control freak Ed, you'll end up getting an aneurism" I only called him Ed to wind him up, knowing how much he hating the common nickname.

"And you'll end up needing a new liver" I rolled my eyes at the dramatic overstatement that was so typically him.

"Whatever, at least I know how to have fun"

"While off your face, what kind of fun is that?" he then shook his head, looking to the exit. "Fine, make a fool of yourself. Just don't expect me to watch while you do it" he stormed off and with a glance at me Emmett followed him, leaving me behind.

Picking up my drink, I looked at it for a second before bringing the glass to my lips relishing the taste and waving at the bartender.

"What can I get you?"

"Same again" I tapped the glass and put down a few notes. "Keep them coming"

* * *

**A/N: that was a long chapter, well thoughts anyone? Next chapter will be in Edward's POV all the way through as the wedding preparations start and Esme and Emmett leave London. So the drama starts to pile on Jacob and Edward.**

**Until next time, ciao!**


	3. Cigarettes, Wedding Bands

**Chapter III - Cigarettes, Wedding Bands**

**Edward POV**

"You'll call when you land?" My mother nodded, then pulled me in for a big hug kissing my cheek as well.

"Mom are you gonna let go of Eddie anytime soon" said Emmett with amusement as he loaded their luggage on a trolley and rolled his eyes along with Jacob.

"No, I'll never let my baby go"

"Mom, you can let go now" she shook her head, holding me even tighter if that was possible.

"Esme, you'll miss your flight" interjected Jacob in a comforting voice with a smile as her, with a sigh she let go of me only to grab Jacob and give him a tight hug as well.

When she was persuaded to let go of him, mom kissed him on both cheeks smiling widely at him as her eyes began to water.

"I am going to miss you boys" smiling kindly Jacob wiped away a tear and kissed her forehead, taking her hand and starting to walk towards the check in desk Emmett and I following.

"Well, we will call you more often if you'd like?" She nodded and squeezed his hand, falling silent as we made our way through the crowded airport.

"I swear she likes him more than us sometimes" seeing the way she clung to him, I couldn't disagree with him.

"I think she prefers him, because he'll go shopping with her"

"Oh well, soon he'll be her son in law. She already treats him like a son, so she'll be over the moon when you kids tie the knot" he winked and elbowed me with a smirk and I smiled back, glad that I had at least one supportive parent.

"You don't think she's doing it...for me, do you?" He raised an eyebrow until it clicked, shaking his head the smirk turned serious as he looked at me.

"No, she's always liked him. I think she's doing it because she genuinely likes him there's no other reason than that, Eddie" he shrugged and smiled again, I had never been more thankful that my older brother was so easy going.

"Thanks Emmett, I'm glad you're my brother" still grinning he playfully punched my shoulder effectively diffusing what could have been a nice brother bonding moment.

"Don't be such a pussy, Eddie" smiling back at him I shook my head and rubbed my arm as although gentle by his standards, the hit had me thinking he may have left a bruise. "But for what it's worth...ditto"

"Here we are" said Jacob, coming to a halt and patting Esme's hand before releasing it. "Have a good flight Esme"

"Thank you, dear. Bye, Jacob" she turned to me. "Edward"

"Bye mom" saying our final goodbyes and letting mom and Emmett check in, we waved as they made their way to the departure lounge.

"I'm gonna miss them"

"Yeah, me too" I replied taking out my keys as we headed back to the car.

**~X~X~X~**

"Are you alright?" It was a couple of days after my mother and brother had gone back to Seattle, so we were now in full scale wedding mode. It was all we talked about, well all Jacob talked about.

It was all venues, invites, dj or band, flowers or centrepieces for the tables. Any spare moment was taken up by the wedding, before my eyes it got bigger and bigger. Forty guests had turned to fifty then sixty, it got longer every day, currently we were at eighty. I wasn't sure I even knew that many people.

But I could see how much he wanted this to be the perfect day, so gritting my teeth I smiled and nodded, a slight nagging at the back of my mind that this was getting much grander than I had first expected.

Putting down my mobile, I turned to Jacob to answer the question he asked me. "That was the studio, apparently the demo's finished and I'll be receiving a copy of it tomorrow" turning away from his laptop where he had been looking for a band, he smiled widely.

"That's great, I can't wait to hear it" I walked round the table and past Charlie who was happily playing with a ball, to stand behind him. With one hand on his shoulder I reached around him and shut the laptop, then wrapping both my arms round his chest.

"What if it's no good?" It had been weighing on my mind for a while, the first time round my music career ended before it ever really started and that could happen this time too. It could fail and what would that say? The expression those who can't do teach, was it true? Jacob shook his head slowly, taking one of my hands and kissing the back before giving it a light reassuring squeeze.

"It will be great, you know why?"

"Why?" He sighed and I rested my chin on his shoulder as Jacob started to rub small circles on the back of my hand with his thumb.

"Because the man who made it is talented and brilliant and incredibly sexy, especially when he smiles" I could stop the grin that spread across my face then. Leaning into him more, I kissed the side of his neck and he smiled wider at me. "And if no one else sees that, then they all have their heads up their asses"

"Thanks"

"Any time sweet cheeks" I raised an eyebrow at the pet names, but he just smiled and kissed my cheek. Glancing over at the clock on the wall, I pulled my arms back putting them on his shoulders and leaning back.

"You coming to bed?" He nodded standing and then spinning round towards me.

"I'm just gonna get a glass of water first"

"Sure" as he headed towards the kitchen, I went to the bedroom. Stripping off my shirt and dark jeans for a pair of light grey sweatpants, pulling them up as Jacob opened the door, smiling as he put down his glass of water and he openly looked at my bare chest. Without saying anything he just smiled before peeling off his own polo shirt and jeans so he was in his boxers before sauntering over to me and giving me a deep kiss, his hands roaming up my back making it very clear what he wanted.

Kissing back just as hard, we backed up to the bed until the backs of my legs hits the side of the mattress and I fell to the bed, Jacob coming with me. "Edward" he groaned, the sound half mumbled by my lips on his as his hands creped lower, whilst also grinding against me and eliciting a half moan, half sigh as his erection rubbed against mine.

"I swear you're like a horny teen sometimes" We rolled over so I was on top, Jacob moved his lips down my neck, lightly sucking on my Adam's apple making me gasp and buck my hips into his harder, before he replied.

"You know you love it" with that he swiftly pulled down my pants along with my boxers too, grinning as he flipped us over again, straddling me before leaning back a bit his tongue leading a trail to my nipples, then quickly down my torso.

Not disputing his comment, I let my eyes half close while his hands lowered to my achingly hard cock gently grazing over the tip before lowering further, to my balls.

"Fuck" I moaned in pleasure as he gave my cock a swift lick from the base to the tip, catching me slightly off guard in a good way. "Oh, Jake" he had barely touched me and I was already a writhing, moaning mess under his very capable hands and his magic tongue.

"Baby, I'm just getting started" he gave me that wolfish grin again, keeping his eyes on me as he gently teased the tip of my dick with his tongue, using small flicks to drive me mad with lust. Gripping the sheets as he slowly worked me over with his hand, his tongue darted out occasionally just as if to tease me more, I let my head fall back but I still watched him through half closed eyes.

Within minutes he had me calling out his name, over and over like it was all I knew. He smirked at me loving the power he held over me and I didn't resent him that, he knew that there was something quite freeing about giving into him.

Pulling him to me, I kissed him hard, his hard on pressed against my thigh as he kissed me back getting my attention. Then he did the sexiest thing, dipping a finger in the come on my stomach before slowly sucking his finger clean, continuing to grin at me.

My response was to reach into his boxers whilst kissing him harder and in a more frenzied passionate way.

**~X~X~X~**

Walking into the kitchen the next morning, I saw Jacob by the window when I walked in he pushed the window open wider after shoving something into his back jeans pocket.

Charlie was by his bowl, munching away at his lunch, when I walked in he raised his head and trotted over to Jacob who picked him up and started scratching him between his ears.

"Hey" he said, looking extra cheerful and I could see something was off, but I went with it running a hand through my bed head or sex hair as Jacob called it.

"Morning, do you want any coffee?" I got out a mug as I glanced at him, raising an eyebrow as he shook his head and pointed to the half empty mug beside him. Letting the kettle boil, I walked over to him giving Charlie a scratch under his chin then kissing Jacob on his cheek. He did what I expected him to do and put a hand on my cheek before kissing my lips.

While he still held my face and the dog, before he could do anything I reached in his pocket then took a few steps back.

"What the heck is this?" It was rhetorical, I knew what it was a lighter and a pack of cigarettes. "I thought you were going to quit?"

"Momentary lapse?" He gave me that smile but I shook my head. He put down our dog, who casually trotted back to his food.

"It's disgusting, you know what smoking does to you right?"

"Sorry, Doctor Cullen" was his very sarcastic response as he tried to snatch the pack from me, however I stepped back and lowered my arm.

"Doctor?" My voice caught in my throat, as I thought of my father.

"Oh shit, Ed I didn't mean that I was just...shit" I shook my head and the kettle stopped boiling, pursing my lips and tensing my jaw I dropped the cigarettes on the table taking a few more steps back as he moved closer.

"I should get going, there's a morning assembly at the school"

"Edward" he said, his tone apologetic as the scowl melted away. I put down the pack on the counter between us, looking down at the floor tiles.

"It's fine, fine" holding up my hands I backed away, before getting to the door and walking out going to the bathroom to get ready for work, even though I had plenty of time.

Later when I got back home the flat was empty, Jacob was working late tonight him and Demetri would be alone in that garage. I frowned at the thought, before Jacob and I there seemed to be a certain type that he went for.

That was tall and muscular, although fairly fit I was still a little on the skinny side and not like the jock type that he normally went for. Even Paul had fit that type, being the very definition of a jock, having been on the football team at his school. Having met my boyfriend's new colleague and learning he was gay, I was quite wary of the Russian body builder.

Shutting the door behind me, I saw the stack of mail by the door. Picking it up and shifting through it, I threw away the junk mail and kept the bills and a letter from the studio. Putting the bills to one side, I opened the thick padded envelope which contained a letter and a slim cd case. My demo cd.

Going over to the table and pushing aside the stack of leaflets and various other wedding pharpanelia I got out my laptop, powering it up and letting it load as I got a beer from the fridge. Once the laptop was booted up, I inserted the disc my hands unsteady as I stared at the play button intently for a few moments.

Taking a shaky breath, I nodded to myself and hit the play button. The first track started, the first thing I heard was the slow rift of an acoustic guitar being played by me, then as the playing sped up a bass joined in and another guitar, followed by the drums and my low singing. My voice sounded a little huskier than I thought it would, my guitar playing a little too rigid but I thought it sounded good. By the time the first song ended I had a wide smile on my face.

So when Jacob came back home, I was in a pretty good mood marinating a few lamp chops and boiling some potatoes.

"Hey" he called out, walking to the kitchen door after hanging up his jacket and kicking off his shoes.

"Dinner will be ready in twenty minutes, so go wash up cause you are not sitting down for dinner like that" although he had ditched the dirty overalls at work, there were still a few smudges of dirt and grease up his arms and a streak of grease on the side of his neck.

"Sure, sure" he nodded with a small smile, heading towards the bathroom. Hearing the water start to run as the door shut, I turned to the vegetables in the steamer before grilling the meat.

He came back in as I was finishing off the food, setting the table for us as I plated up.

"Smells good" he said appreciatively as he sat down and I set down his plate.

"You'll eat anything" he rolled his eyes, not disagreeing but pouring us both a glass of wine. Taking a big gulp of his own, as I sat down opposite him and we started eating.

"So when are you going to me what's got you in such a great mood?" He asked in between inhaling his food and draining his wine, pouring himself another large measure.

"I got a copy of my demo" he smiled widely, truly happy for me, putting down his glass and focusing on me.

"When do I get to hear it?" I smiled back.

"I could play the track for you after dinner" he shook his head.

"Why listen to the track, when I have the real thing in front of me?" I simply smiled at him and we continued to eat in a comfortable silence.

After the plates were cleared we sat in the living room, holding my guitar as Jacob sat next to me slowly sipping a can of beer as I started to play. Playing the slow rift that was on the demo, I occasionally glanced at Jacob, who had a pleasant grin on his face the whole time.

When I came to the end, my hands resting on top of the guitar he put down the can of beer and clapped loudly even whistling at one point.

"That was brilliant...and very fucking sexy" he gave me a flirty look with his brow raised and I playfully slapped his chest. Moving the guitar aside as he moved closer, he kissed me hard and rough, a hand tangling in my hair and lightly tugging making me moan into the kiss.

"Jake"

He then straddled me and I swear my cock twitched as he kissed me harder, lowering my hands I grabbed his ass and thrust up my hips, gridding my hardening dick against him. Jacob did something that turned me on even more if that were possible, he sucked on the spot just behind my ear, whilst reaching between us to unbutton my jeans, grinding on me harder and faster effectively dry humping me.

"Jake" I moaned almost incoherently, feeling like I would explode if he didn't touch me soon.

"What do you want, baby?" I tried to speak but it came out in a mess, especially with his hands so close to where I wanted them.

"Ifuckingwantyoutotouchme" he raised an eyebrow, giving me that fucking sexy smirk before moving back a bit to give himself enough room to very achingly slowly pull down the zipper. I let my head fall onto his shoulder, when suddenly his phone started to ring. "Leave it" I groaned into his shoulder, pushing my hips in an effort to get closer to his hands.

"It could be important, Ed" answering the phone he stood and walked to the kitchen with his empty beer can in one hand, as I slumped back on the sofa.

When he came back in, he put his phone back down on the coffee table and sat down with a small smile as he looked from his phone to me.

"What is it?"

"That was a friend from work, she said that her cousin works at the Savoy and that there was a cancellation so we can have our reception there" he smiled wider and I tried to adjust my pants as I sat up, into a less uncomfortable position.

"When would that be?"

"In five months, it's perfect isn't it?" I opened my mouth to answer, but he continued talking. "It gives us enough time to prepare and not have to rush anything, yet it's not ages away" I nodded and smiled, if it was somewhat forced then he either didn't notice or choose to ignore it.

"That's...that's great"

"That reminds me we have a cake tasting to go to in the morning. I did tell you right?" I nodded, about to speak again when he barrelled on. "We also have music and food to think about. We should get an early night, Ed" with a kiss on my cheek, he walked off pausing at the door. "Are you coming to bed?" The allure from the previous situation had dissipated in an instants and my raging hard on was begging for attention.

"In a bit" he nodded briskly and turned away going to the bathroom, with a sigh I slumped back when my attention was drawn back to my erm issue. Hearing the tap in the bathroom running, I waited until he shut it off and went to the bedroom and switched off the light.

When I was certain he was asleep I tugged down my jeans so my cock sprang free, taking hold of my throbbing dick I slowly started to jerk myself off. Speeding up my movement I played out the scenario in my head, what would have happened with me and Jake if I hadn't been cockblocked by that damn call.

After pulling off my jeans and shirt, Jacob would have dragged his nails down my chest across my nipples to rest at the waistband of my briefs. Slowly tugging them off he would wrap his hand round the base of my cock, his tongue swirling round the swollen head and into the slit, tasting my pre cum and making moan and buck my hips.

Then taking my dick into his mouth he would start bobbing up and down, taking in more of me each time until he is deep throating me and I can feel the tightness as he swallows around me. I am so close, so close to falling over the edge and sensing that he brings a finger to my lips, getting the message I would suck his finger into my mouth coating it in saliva, before releasing it.

With his mouth still bobbing up and down my cock as my balls tighten, he takes the finger rubbing it behind my balls at the small puckered hole. Even though I am expecting it, the action causes me to swear loudly and grip his head as he works the single digit into me. In a few thrusts he finds that spot the prostate and with each movement matching the pace at which he suck me, it takes only a few more thrusts before my balls tighten even more. And with a final call of his name, I come hard in thick ropes of come which he cleans up with a smirk on his face. Before I grab him, in order to kiss him and help satisfy him.

It didn't take long after that before spurts of sperm covered my hand. Going to the bathroom I washed up and changed, laying out some water for the dog before sliding into bed next to an already asleep Jacob. Light snores coming from his chest, as he lay on his side facing away from me he barely moved as I settled in.

**~X~X~X~**

Though it was technically my day off, I didn't get to do much relaxing. Barely a week after setting a date the wedding stuff got kicked into high gear. From the moment I woke up, Jacob was raring to go bombarding me with ideas and questions on the wedding.

First there was the cake tasting which dragged on, not that I minded eating cake. When we picked a flavour we then had to decide on a style, colour theme, how many tiers ect.

Afterwards, we went to have a look at the venue for the reception. Walking through the hotel with the manager, I merely nodded every now and then leaving the questions to Jacob. Like how many people we could fit in and if there would be enough space for a stage and so on.

"Hey" he said taking my hand as we walked outside the hotel and to the car park. I smiled at him and kissed his cheek as we walked, doing my best to ignore any looks in our direction.

"Hey yourself"

"You all good? You looked a little bored" he looked a little concerned, maybe like he was worried that I might be having second thoughts about getting married. Getting to where our car was parked we got in, Jacob in the driver's seat mainly because I was told I drove like a lunatic according to him.

"No, I'm fine" he didn't look convinced at all, but he shrugged and started the engine switching the radio on when we got out the car park and headed to go sort out invites, now that we had a date all sorted out.

Another two hours later and we got back home after fussing over fonts, colours and types of invites. As the list was currently near one hundred guests, I decided to tune out when we given a quote, judging by the look on Jacob's face even he thought it was ridiculous. Getting inside, Jacob was greeted enthusiastically by Charlie who wagged his tail as he all but humped Jacob's leg.

I swear the damn dog hated me, I am pretty sure the only reason he doesn't attempt to bite me is that I'm the one who feeds him. Jacob spoils him though, always rubbing his belly and giving him extra treats, whilst I wasn't fond of the damn animal and he seemed to know it.

"Who's a good boy? You are, yes you are" rolling my eyes as Jacob spoke in that ridiculous voice most people used when talking to pets and babies, I hung up my jacket when my phone rang.

"Hello?" I said as I answered, not recognising the number.

"Hello, is this Edward Cullen?" Spoke a smooth female voice, in an RP English accent. Jacob lifted the dog, taking him to the kitchen probably for another damn treat.

"Yes, this is. If you don't mind me asking who is this?" The woman gently cleared her throat before answering me.

"My name is Tanya Delaney, Mr Cullen I work at King Records, we heard your demo and would like to meet with you in person about the possibly of signing you to our label." My stomach did flip flops at what the label rep just said, at the possibility of me becoming a signed artist.

"Wow that's...that's amazing"

"So is that a yes?"

"Yeah, yes, definitely. When should we meet?" She paused a moment, hearing a flicking of paper and I assumed she was looking through a diary.

"Well...it might be short notice but the only time I have available is this evening at half five or next Tuesday morning?" I didn't have to think about it long.

"I can be there this afternoon"

"I look forward to seeing you, Mr Cullen" shocked but in a good way, I said goodbye and hung up as Jacob came back in.

* * *

**Jacob POV**

Walking back into the living room I saw Edward, leaning against the back of the sofa with a shocked but pleased expression as he stared at his mobile that he had clutched tightly in his hand.

Putting down Charlie, who went off to sit under the coffee table whilst chewing on his favourite toy, I went to Edward who looked up with a grin.

"Some good news, babe?" He smiled wider at me, the crooked only slightly imperfect grin I adored making an appearance.

"Brilliant, my demo" he took in sharp intake of air, shaking his head before running a hand through his messy hair and continuing. "It got picked up by a record company, they want to meet with me...this evening"

"That is so amazing" for a moment I thought of the evening I had planned out for us, a Star Wars movie marathon, along with a curry from our favourite Indian restaurant and then maybe something else in the bath later. But walking over to him, I smiled back harder knowing how much this meant to him. "I knew someone would see how talented you are"

"I haven't even been to the meeting yet" I shrugged.

"Oh, they'll love you" still smiling he grabbed me and kissed me, pressing his lips against mine firmly yet pulling away all too soon for my liking.

"Thank you love, I have to be there at half five, I don't know how long it'll be though"

"It's alright, just call me when you're on your way back and maybe pick up some take away if you're gonna be late?" He smiled again and kissed my cheek, hugging me before stepping away.

"Right, I have..." He looked at his watch. "An hour and forty five minutes to get ready and get there. I'll have a shower and change...what should I wear?" He was thinking the last part out loud, I could tell by the vacant gaze but I gave him a little help. Putting my hands on his chest to get his attention, I smiled at him.

"You should go for the light blue shirt and cream blazer with sand chinos and navy Fred Perry shoes, leave your hair a little messy" smart casual plus the label reps could see my man with his sex hair and bright green eyes, of they weren't already in love with his music they would be.

"What would I do without you?"

"Be a total wreck?" I guessed, dropping my arms and raising my eyebrows. He let out a light laugh and nodded, walking to the bathroom slapping my ass as he passed me.

Once he was ready he gave me a chaste kiss and left, taking the car keys with him. Shutting the door behind him, Charlie's head shot up and he trotted over to me, with a wag of his tail as he nuzzled his face to the side of my leg. Ignoring the Jack Russell I went to the kitchen and got myself a large glass of gin, knocking it back in one go before pouring myself another and heading to the laptop to look up caterer's.

An hour later and Edward wasn't home, hoping he wouldn't be much longer I started making dinner yet another forty five minutes later after cooking he still wasn't home and my phone remained silent.

On to my forth drink and attempting to slow down, I finished dinner leaving some for Edward in the oven and sitting down in front of the telly, when my phone rang. Reaching for it and assuming it was Edward, I took the call but heard a different voice.

"Hey stranger"

"Leah, what's up?"

"Nothing much, just chilling and thought I'd give my favourite gay a call" I laughed at her casual tone, crossing my legs at the ankles and leaning back as I shook my head, not that she could see me.

"I'm the only gay you know"

"Do you have a point?" I sighed.

"Not really, so what's going on Leah?"

"Ah, well where shall I start?" she said grandly, leaving short pauses in between each work. "Work is fine, Jared is fine I am fine. My life is spectacularly normal"

"Is that a bad thing?"

"No" she sounded happy. "No, it is fucking great"

"Glad to hear it"

"So, Jake set a date yet?" I smiled glad to hear my friends voice.

"Yes, in about five months"

"Whoa, so this is definitely happening. No going back now" I sighed deeply again, rubbing my chin before standing and going into the kitchen, pushing open the window and getting out my pack of cigarettes that I had hidden in the top cupboard just behind the spices that Edward never used.

"Yeah, it's serious"

"It's fucking big, mate. It's the next step, a leap more like"

"Leah!" I said interrupting her as I lit up, taking a deep drag and releasing it between pursed lips out of the window. "Could you stop that, you are freaking me out"

"Sorry, Jake. But it is a big, a huge, decision to make and you should be aware of that"

"I am. I love Edward, I know I don't want to be with anyone else"

"Good, then you don't have any doubts"

"None at all" there was a small niggle at the back of my mind, at the way Edward seemed to almost zone out at the wedding preparations, but that was normal right? He had been through this all before, granted he never made it to the actual wedding but he was here.

"Well then I am gonna look forward to the big day. So how exactly does it work? Do you have bridesmaids and a maid of honour does he get a best man?"

"Why would I get bridesmaids and he gets a best man?" tapping off excess ash I took another long drag, releasing it slowly and leaning my head against the side of the window looking out and keeping the phone to my other ear.

"Because, he's the man in the relationship" she said all of this in a very manner of fact tone, like it was all very obvious.

"What?"

"Didn't you realise he is so the man" with a shake of my head, I took I last puff and stubbed out the cigarette on the outside of the window before flicking it out of the window.

"That is news to me"

"Well, what's the deal then?"

"We both get best men, I assume Edward's will be Emmett and that is something I wanted to talk to you about" there was a short pause on her end and I lit up another cigarette.

"Shoot"

"Will you be my best man?" I heard something drop with a smash, it sounded like a plate or a mug.

"Yes! That would be so cool!"

"Are you alright Leah?"

"Yeah, yeah. Oh, do I get to wear a suit?"

"I...guess so?" taking a few short puffs I raised an eyebrow as I continued. "Someone seemed excited"

Ten minutes later, after catching up we hung up I stubbed out my third cigarette, putting away the pack and straightening up before getting another drink and going back to the living room. Sitting back down on the couch and channel hopping, more time passed and it was approaching half ten and still no Edward.

Staring at the clock for a moment I sighed and switched off the telly, standing yet again and heading towards the bedroom.

**~X~X~X~**

A week later and Edward started spending more time out, after the initial meeting with the record label more was set up as they wanted to record an album with Edward but first they needed to build up some publicity and to do that he needed to book some gigs.

However he needed more material, so recently he spent a lot of his spare time when he wasn't at the school writing and recording, then writing some more and re-recording.

So one day, I was at work when my phone rang. Going over to the worktop where my phone was, I saw the caller ID and answered the call.

"Hi Edward"

"Hey, listen...Tanya got me a gig as a supporting artist in London, it's kinda last minute because the original band had to drop out for some reason. So obviously I'm gonna be late, unless you want to come?"

"I would love to but we are pretty close to getting ready for a test run, I will come to your next performance"

"You promise?"

"Of course" Demetri came back in holding two mugs of coffee smiling at me and placing mine in front of me on the worktop.

"Alright, bye babe"

"Bye" he hung up first and then so did I, putting down my phone and then taking the cup of coffee.

"Bad news?" asked Demetri, his tone casual not indifferent but not probing either.

"My fiancé, he's going to be late home...again" he tilted his head as I took a sip of the heavenly dark and sweet liquid.

"This, this has been happening for a while?" I shrugged, though I may have gotten used to this man in my work space it didn't mean that I had to tell him all about my private life.

"It's nothing" thankfully he dropped it, turning away and drinking his coffee as we both focused onto our work.

"Do you think we'll be ready for a test drive?"

"That's the plan" was my response, working largely in silence we stepped back a while later when it was approaching half nine.

"I think that we are done for now"

"We should wait until tomorrow for a test drive"

"Or we could fuck the rules and do it ourselves" he winked and smiled at me, I smiled back.

"Fuck the rules, bagsy the driver's seat" snagging the keys off the hook on the wall, where they had been placed, I hopped into the driver's seat my colleague getting into the passenger seat beside me clicking the garage key to open the door.

Sticking the key in the ignition, I peeled out of the garage taking advantage of the largely empty car lot to test out how fast the acceleration was and how good the handling was. Hearing the roar of the engine and feel of the wind coming through the open windows, as I pushed the speed limit on the car it was amazing.

"Woohoo, this is fucking brilliant!" I all but yelled, turning to see Demetri's reaction his was exactly the same as mine his face lit up with a massive smile that matched my own.

With a sharp turn, I brought the car to a stop both of us jumping out buzzing as I shut the door and he came round the car to stand by me.

"We did well"

"It was mainly you, the way you work is so dedicated" if I didn't know any better I would have sworn he was flirting with me, not that it mattered I was taken.

"I'd say it was a joint effort, there are a few kinks we can work out but I say we deserve a celebratory drink" he smiled again and I couldn't help but appreciate how much more good looking he was when he smiled.

"I'll buy the first round"

"Are you hoping to get me drunk"

"Maybe" he replied swiftly, without missing a beat. Yep, defiantly flirting, the smile he wore turned more flirtatious as we headed back to the garage.

It was probably wrong but I liked it.

* * *

**A/N: so our boys seem to be progressing profession wise but what about their personal lives namely the impending nuptials that just got a lot more real for both Edward and Jacob in different ways.**

**Toodles, my pets! xx**


	4. I've Seen Better Days

**Disclaimer: unfortunately I do not own Twilight or any of the characters.**

* * *

**Chapter IV - I've Seen Better Days**

**Jacob POV**

Putting away the car keys when we got back in the garage, I then unzipped the front of my overalls and stepped out of them hanging them up.

"I love this job, who else can say they road tested the new Aston Martin before anyone else?" Demetri nodded, unzipping his own overalls to reveal the tight short sleeved tee that showed off his well-muscled torso and arms.

"It is better that working in office"

"Damn straight, I had an office job before hated every second of it" he nodded again getting his jacket.

He smiled and I saw him in the corner of my eye, check out my ass, clearing my throat and acting like I hadn't noticed we went outside and locked up. Then I let him lead me back to his car, which was a classic dark blue BMW that had probably seen better days, I slid into the front passenger seat as he stuck the key in the ignition.

"Are there any good bars around here?" He asked as we pulled out of the car lot and drove towards the main road.

"Yeah, on the left after the second set of traffic lights there's a good Irish pub, not one of those ridiculously priced designer bars"

"Okay" he flicked the radio on, tuning into some station that was playing an old Ja Rule song.

Loving hip hop and R+B I found myself tapping my fingers on my knee in time to the beat and quietly singing along to the amusement of the Russian driving.

"You like this music?" I nodded and sang the last line before it went to adverts.

"Yeah, but Edward's more into classical or indie music"

"Edward, he is fiancé, no?" I nodded. "How long have you been together? If you don't mind me asking"

"I don't mind, we've been together for about six and a half months officially but we've known each other for years, since we were at college" soon I was telling him all about the shit we went through to be together, leaving out the part where we had an affair under the nose of Edward's ex.

As we got to the bar and ordered drinks, sitting in a booth near the door I was still telling him about it.

"Wow, it sounds like you really love each other" I gave him a small smile and took a big gulp of my beer, leaving my glass half empty whilst he had only taken a few small sips of his own.

"Yeah" was all I said, draining my drink I almost slammed it down onto the table with a sigh. "How about another, my treat?" Before he could answer I stood and went back to the bar.

A few more drinks later, I was starting to feel the effects of the alcohol so when I tried to stand I almost fell over as I got a bit of head rush. Catching and steadying me, the earlier flirtation was gone as he led me back to his car with me calling out for him to let me have another drink. Even if I wasn't so drunk, I doubt he would have tried anything considering that the only person I talked about all night was Edward.

"I'm fine, I'm fine, honestly" was what I was trying to say, but the words came out so slurred Demetri shook his head and opened the car door depositing me into the back seat.

"You're drunk, I'm taking you home. Where do you live?" I eventually got out enough of my address for him to punch into the sat nav and start driving. Lying on my back, I glanced out of the window seeing the lights flashing past with small patches of the night sky in between.

In my drunken state I started singing a number from Hairspray at the top of my lungs, had I been even partly sober I would have realised how much of an idiot I looked, but I didn't care.

"You can't stop the beat!" I half sang and half yelled as we came to a stop and the door opened.

"Okay then" Demetri said as he got me out of the car, as a familiar car came to a stop just in front of us and a red haired man got out and walked towards us with an expression that was angry and a little scary.

"Eddie!" I shouted happily moving away from Demetri and towards Edward, stumbling but getting to him where I flung my arms round him and kissed his cheek.

"Are you drunk?"

"No"

"Yes, you are" he accused harshly, turning his head to look at Demetri who was still standing by the open car door. "You got him drunk" I shook my head as he narrowed his eyes at my co-worker, holding me steady as I swayed with a firm grip.

"We went out for a drink, I didn't-"

"I don't want to hear it, if you're looking for an easy lay try someone who is single" he was getting really angry and his voice had a sharp edge to it as he glared at Demetri. He however just took it, nodding and shutting the car door, remaining by it.

"It is my fault, I'm sorry" Edward pressed his lips together and tensed his jaw, staying silent as the large russian got on the car and drove off, turning round still holding me to him we went inside with him half carrying me the whole time.

"Ed" he stayed silent, taking me into the bedroom and depositing me on the bed. Walking out he came back a few minutes later with water and a couple of aspirin, waiting until I took them and drained the glass before taking it from me and putting it down on top of the bedside table. "Eddie, are you angry with me?" His jaw was still tensed, but he shook his head.

"No, I'm not"

"You're lying" even in my drunken state I could tell when he was telling the truth or not, even though he thought he was good at it. "You know it really wasn't his fault, I was the one getting the drinks in" he nodded his face almost expressionless.

"Yes, but why do you need to drink so much?" He sat on the edge of the bed next to me and I turned so that I was on my side facing him.

"So you are angry at me"

"I'm not angry!" His voice rose but he checked himself, shaking his head and letting out a soft sigh turning his body round, glancing at me as he ran a hand through his hair. "I'm just...it's so...you know I love you, right?"

"I love you too" smiling at me, he leaned down giving me a soft kiss.

"Alright, now get some sleep you drunken fool" my eyes started to fall close as I muttered a response, then feeling Edward's lips against my cheek, he kissed my cheek before whispering a goodnight in my ear, his lips grazing my ear lobe as he spoke.

The next day I woke up with a raging hangover and in bed without Edward, running to the bathroom to throw up I was only half aware that it was quiet in the flat. After brushing my teeth and swirling around mouthwash, I went to the kitchen to find a note for me attached to the fridge with a beer bottle opener magnet.

_Jacob,_

_Had an early morning staff meeting, there's fresh orange juice in the fridge and an omelette in the pan on the hob._

_Tonight, I'm not working late so will be back at around six._

_Edward xx_

Grabbing a plate from the cupboard I got the omelette and the juice, calling in sick at work as I did so.

Charlie's head lifted as I pottered around the kitchen, so I put down my plate and cup, feeding the dog before having my own breakfast. Later on that afternoon, after going to the park for a walk with Charlie who tried to chase after any squirrel that ran by, I got a text as we got back home.

_Hi Jacob,_

_I hope you are feeling okay, but seeing as you kept singing for most of the night after your fifth drink, I think you might not be feeling too well?_

_Demetri_

Groaning at the idea of tone deaf me belting out show tunes or something, I cringed hoping I didn't make too much of an ass of myself.

**Hi,**

**Please tell me I didn't do anything else that embarrassing!**

**J**

I got a reply almost immediately.

_You may have started dancing to a song called 'Play That Funky Music' :P there was some dancing that looked very...suggestive?_

Damn it!

**And I really liked that place, I'm probably never going to be able to go there again! :(**

Smiling and shaking my head, I sat down on the sofa and Charlie jumped up, curling up next to me even though Edward didn't like him jumping onto the furniture.

_It wasn't that bad!_

Came back his quick and short reply and I just shook my head, typing back a quick reply.

**~X~X~X~X~X~**

Later on that evening I was by my laptop phone in hand, having an argument with a Chinese woman about the flower arrangements for the table.

"I said cream not green!" I all but yelled into the phone, as Edward let himself in raising an eyebrow in confusion as he took of his jacket and I just continued to shout down my phone. "Fine, fine cancel my order, I'll go somewhere else!" There was a lot of shouting on the other end of the line in Chinese that I could not understand, but it didn't sound all too good, I hung up and stood up. Putting my phone down and picking up my empty mug by the side of the laptop, walking over to Edward I kissed his cheek and he smiled and kissed me on the lips though it felt a little restrained.

"Hey" he said simply, putting down his bag and loosening his tie, whilst I went to the kitchen before he could realise that the mug I held had the dregs of an Irish coffee despite the previous night which led to my killer hangover.

"Hi"

"Care to tell me why you were shouting down the phone about flower arrangements?" I grinned and we went to the bedroom, I sat on the edge of the bed and he unbuttoned his shirt facing me so I got to appreciate his lean body.

"I wanted cream roses for the table centrepieces, but the woman I talked to had no idea what I was talking about"

"Oh" came his reply that was lack lustre, as he turned and threw his shirt into the laundry hamper by the door. Despite the underwhelming response, I was side tracked by his bare torso as he flexed his arms to fling his shirt across the room. Next went his pants and socks, giving me the perfect view of his ass, the moment was made all the better when he bent down to open the bottom drawer. It was short lived as he straightened up and turned to face me, tugging on a pair of navy drawstring pants.

He also got out a white tee but before he could pull it on, I stood up went over to him, standing behind him and putting my hands on his hip bones just above the trousers that rested low on his hips, kissing the side of his neck.

"Jake, what are you...Oh" I moved my lips to the spot between his neck and shoulder, nipping lightly to show him what I was thinking of. He turned round to face me, putting his hands on both sides of my face and kissing me all too briefly for my liking. "Jake, I'm tired and I have an early start tomorrow can we just have dinner and go to sleep?" I dropped my hands, leaning back though he kept his hands on my cheeks as he looked at me.

"You are angry at me for last night, aren't you?" he shook his head, but I took a step back forcing Edward to drop his hands.

"No, I'm not" I snorted turning and walking out, Edward following me as he tugged on his shirt. "Jacob...Jake"

"Okay" I said getting to the kitchen and going to the oven where the store bought fish pie I had been cooking, taking it out he stood by the door as I got out the plates and cutlery.

"Okay, that's it?"

"Yep"

"You have nothing else to say?" I put down the plate I was holding, placing both hands on the counter and lowering my head, closing my eyes as I faced away from Edward, he took two step closer but kept some distance between us.

"No...You spend all of your time out, you have nothing to say about our wedding and now you don't want me" my voice was low and self-conscious, opening my eyes I kept my gaze looking down at the worktop, very aware of Edward standing behind me.

"I've been busy that's all, with the PR and gigs combined with work. I'm just really knackered, but it will pay off soon and we will have plenty of time together" he came up to me, placing his hand over one of mine and glancing at me as I turned my head in his direction.

"That's it? You're not getting cold feet or anything?"

"No" he looked at me trying to hold my gaze and I glared back, completely unconvinced by his response. "How can I prove it to you?"

"You shouldn't have to ask that!" turning away from him again, I got the food out and loaded it on to the plates. Taking my time, so I could compose my features into a blank mask, before I turned back round to face him.

"I can't read your mind, how should I know what to do?" his defensive answer, sent a flare of anger through me. We had been best friends since college, he knew me better than anyone else and yet he was totally blind as to what was happening between us.

"You know what? Just forget it"

"Well, you're not perfect!" I all but slammed his plate down in front of him, some of the food almost spilling.

"What do you mean by that?" he pursed his lips, like he regretted the outburst. I went to the fridge and got out a beer, pouring it and taking a big gulp as I sat down opposite him.

"You know what I mean" he half mumbled, under his breath.

"No, I don't. So please...enlighten me" my voice was deeply sarcastic, as he looked at me he lifted his hand and pinched the bridge of his nose before shaking his head. "Go on, I want to know"

"Demetri" he said so quietly I almost didn't hear him.

"Demetri? The guy I work with?" he nodded and dropped his hand from his nose, crossing his arms over his chest instead as he glanced down at the table.

"I've seen the way he looks at you, he likes you and I think you know that" I slammed my hands on the table and stood up, pushing my chair back angrily as I started to pace.

"And...What? Do you think because I have a good looking guy working with me that I am just waiting for the opportunity to jump his bones?"

"I don't think that, but he always flirts with you and I know he texts you all the time!"

"So I can't be friends with him, without something else happening?"

"We couldn't" he gasped and his eyes widened, another admission that had slipped though. "Jake, I-" I held up a hand to stop him, shaking my head and walking to the door.

"Thank you for trusting me" was my sarcastic response as I went to grab my coat, when he scrambled to his feet and came over to me, grabbing my hand as I was about to open the door. I froze for a second, but staring at the door handle, I kept my voice low. "Unless, you want me to give you a black eye, let me fucking go" he hesitated but did as I said, and without any more hesitation I opened the door and shut it behind me.

Walking outside, I started walking in a random direction not knowing where it was I was heading at all.

I soon ended up at a small park, walking up the path I stopped by a bench and sat down feeling all of my anger come out and I let out a sound that was close to a scream, startling a nearby flock of pigeons. Leaning forward, I rest my head in my hands and closed my eyes, sitting there for god knows how long. Sitting up, I looked around and across form the park I saw a small pub, so getting up, I walked to the pub and sat at the bar, ordering a large neat whiskey.

And then another.

And another.

And another.

* * *

**Edward POV**

I stayed up until midnight, but he still didn't come back, it wasn't until half two in the morning that I heard the key in the lock turn and open. I internally debated whether I should go and talk to him or wait for him to come to bed.

In the end, I lay away hearing him, stumbling around, possibly drunk again and then the apartment fell quiet again. getting out of bed, I popped my head into the living room to see Jacob asleep on the couch, with a sad sigh I got out a spare pillow and blanket from the airing cupboard, so as to make him more comfortable.

Then I went back to bed, not that I got a lot of rest.

**~X~X~X~X~X~**

"Edward!"

"Hi Tanya" I said holding the phone to my ear, as I sat in my classroom during my free period.

"Darling, I have the most amazing news!" she sounds excited and so I sat up a little straighter in anticipation for whatever it was that she had to tell me.

"Well then? What is it?"

"Oh, a rep for Mumford and Sons saw your gig in London and he called me in the hopes that he could get you to go on tour with them!" she spoke rapidly and I had to do a double take.

"What?" I said, stunned.

"Mumford and S-"

"I heard what you said. Wow that is brilliant, when is it?"

"Two weeks, they are going on a tour starting in London and ending in The States and they'd like you to be their opener" I was shocked into silence, a tour. This could be big, amazing. It was also happening very fast and in the middle of mine and Jacob's wedding preparations.

"It's a great opportunity...but can I take some time to think about it?" there was a short pause on the end of the line.

"What is there to think about, this would be a massive boost to your career. It is the best way to get you out there!"

"I know, but I have my upcoming nuptials coming up, how can I just leave all that to Jacob for a few weeks?"

"It's a two month tour, and it could possibly be extended if all goes well"

"It's something we will have to talk about" She 'hmm'ed and 'ahh'ed for a few seconds.

"James, wanted a quick reply or it's off the table. I'll get you until tomorrow evening to figure it out, it's the nest I can do for you Ed"

"Thanks, I'll get back to you once I've talked to _Jacob_"

"You do that Ed. And don't let this chance slip through your fingers for the wrong reasons"

"I'll get back to you" I replied not knowing what else to say to a statement like that. Through the rest of the day all I was thinking about was the tour, how would I bring it up to Jacob after last night?

If I was totally honest with myself, if this was after college when I was single I wouldn't have hesitated at all. But it wasn't just me I had to think about now.

"Edward, you still with us?" came the voice of Angela Webber from next to me, we were in the staff room discussing the responsibilities of each teacher in the school fair next Saturday.

"Yeah, yeah...so erm I'll be in charge of the food?"

"Yes, we'd get Amy to do it but she has to go out of town that weekend" I nodded and zoned out again, as the other roles were assigned and we disbanded. Swinging my messenger bag over my shoulder, I got out my phone as I went outside, there were only a couple of texts from Tanya, pestering me for a response, but nothing from Jacob.

The morning after our argument, he hadn't said a word to me going so far as to leave early for work so he wouldn't have to be around me any longer.

"Hey Edward!" stopping and turning round, I saw Angela walking up to me, she was the English teacher and was fairly new to the school, having only started a couple of months before me. She was a good teacher, inspiring real interest in most of her students for her own enthusiasm and love of literature. Angela had also been the one to sort of take me under her wing and show me the ropes, helping me settle in when I was still very new and hardly knew anyone in London apart from Jacob.

"Angel, what's up!" I tried to inject some light heartedness into my voice as I smiled at her, but my voice sounded false and hollow to my own ear so I knew she would see right through it.

"I'm good, but I have the feeling that something is on your mind" she arched an eyebrow at me and I sighed heavily. "So go on pretty boy, what's wrong?" I didn't intent to, but she was friendly and I could use a friend so on the way out of the school and to our cars, I found myself spilling my guts about everything that happened with me and Jacob including the offer from Tanya.

"It sounds like you and Jake have a lot to talk about"

"We did" she shook her head as we came to a stop by my car.

"No, you both took digs out of each other, avoiding the real issue. Jacob is a great guy Edward" I looked down and ran a hand through my hair, messing it up even more than it usually was.

"I know"

"Maybe you should think about if you are ready to get married, because if you aren't then you risk hurting and losing him" I looked up at her.

"How do you know so much?" she smiled and patting my shoulder sympathetically.

"I'm a genius" on a more serious note, the smile faded a bit. "Talk to him, properly and tell him _everything_"

**~X~X~X~X~X~**

"Jacob? Jake are you home?" I called out when, I got into the apartment. He came out of the bathroom and looked at me silently, before taking a few steps towards me then sitting in the armchair furthest from me. "Good, you're here"

"Why, did you think I wouldn't come back?" his voice was slightly bitter and I could smell the faint aroma of smoke before I saw the pack on the coffee table, out in the open.

"No, it's just that I think...I think we should talk"

"I thought we did last night" I shook my head and went over to him, sitting on the end of the sofa closest to him, leaning forward and clasping my hands in front of me.

"We argued last night, it's not the same thing. Plus, I got some news today" he couldn't help the look of curiosity that crossed his features, as he turned his head to look back at me.

"Good or bad?"

"That depends" I paused, waiting to avoid another fight with him but also wanting to tell him the truth.

"On...?"

"On you. Tanya told me that a band rep saw my show and wants me to be a supporting act for a big band when they go on tour in two weeks' time" he crossed his arms over his chest and pressed his lips together, shaking his left leg as he considered this information.

"How long for?"

"Two months, possibly longer" he nodded, still taking all of it in. "There is more" he snapped his gaze back to me and raised his eyebrows.

"What else?"

"It's back in the States"

"Oh" was all he said.

* * *

**A/N: so...?**

**Should he go or stay? Should they stay together or break off the wedding?**

**Until next time, ciao!**


	5. Love Is A Losing Game

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters.**

* * *

**Chapter V – Love Is a Losing Game**

**Jacob POV**

"So...two touring in the UK and the states, possibly longer, only four months before we are meant to get married" I spoke slowly trying to make it more real to me. "Isn't this all happening very fast?" he shrugged leaning closer as I sat up straighter.

"Yeah, I guess that's how it works" he paused, running a hand through his messy hair, making it stick out more than usual. "Look, this is a _great_ chance for my career, but I won't make a choice until we've talked properly"

"Do you want to go?" I asked bluntly, not wanting to tip toe around the main point. He hesitated, pursing his lips and clasping his hands in front of him as he thought about how to answer the question.

"It's an amazing opportunity" he seemed to be stalling for time.

"I didn't fucking ask you that! Do. You. Want. To. Go?" he sighed and stared at his hands, unclasping them and putting them on his knees.

"I want to go" nodding, I reached for the pack of cigarettes, openly lighting one and standing up to go to the window, pushing it open and breathing out a long stream of smoke as I mulled over his response.

"So if you've made up your mind, why are we even having this conversation?" I breathed in deeply letting out another puff of smoke before half turning to look back at Edward, he had already turned to face me though he stayed sitting.

"Because, it's not a decision that affects only me"

"So...what if I asked you to stay, to pass up the tour and get married to me...would you do it?" I watched him and he glanced away for a moment, his jaw tensing.

"I'd suggest we talk about it some more"

"Until what?" my voice rose and I turned round to face him straight on as he stood and walked round the couch, keeping some distance between us as he leaned against the back of the sofa. "Until, I saw it your way?"

"No, no absolutely not" he took a couple of steps towards me then stopped.

"Cut the bullshit, Edward" I seethed, taking one last drag of the cigarette and flicking the butt out of the window. "I think you've already made a choice and I'm not it"

"I am not choosing between you and the tour I love you"

"Sorry if I find that a little harder to swallow considering you've been pulling away from ever since I asked you to marry me"

"I've been busy!" he said sounding frustrated as he shook his head.

"With everything other than your own god damn wedding! It's always something else that's more important!" I threw my hands up angrily. "If you don't want to marry me then you should have said something!"

"I do want to marry you...it's just, it's just getting to be too...too..." he trailed off with a shrug of his shoulder, struggling for the right words.

"Too what?" I said, challenging him to say what was really on his mind.

"Too much!" he let out. "I mean, one day we have a small intimate wedding with forty people, then it's fifty, then sixty, then we invite everyone we fucking know! It's no longer a small simply wedding it's at a five star hotel with close to a hundred people for a circus not a wedding" he sighed heavily, casting his eyes down as his voice got quieter. "We could go to a registrar and get married tomorrow, just us and I would be happy because I don't need all of the other crap that goes with it"

"It has nothing to do with shying away from making a declaration to everyone that you are gay?" he shook his head immediately, lifting his eyes to look at me as he took a few more steps towards me until he was right in front of me and close enough to touch. I knew I had gone too far, but I couldn't back down now. Me and my big mouth.

"No, that's not true"

"You are ashamed to be with me"

"No, I co-"

"You barely show me any sort of affection when we are in public, I don't expect you to make out with me every time, but would it hurt you to I don't know, hold my hand every once in a while"

"I gave up everything to follow you here, for you would I do that if I didn't want to be with you?"

"Edward, I love you, so much. But I won't be messed around again, so do you think we should get married?" hesitating again he pinched the bridge of his nose letting out another deep sigh, before releasing his nose and looking at me again.

"I want to, but if it's like this now, getting married won't help..." he swallowed and looked at his feet. "Maybe the timings not right, maybe we rushed into it" there was a long heavy silence after that, I felt a lump in my throat as my eyes prickled and watered up.

"We should call the wedding off then and you should go on the tour" he snapped his head up, his eyes wide.

"What does that mean for us then?"

"I think we need a break" I took a deep breath, his gaze intense as I tried to keep the tears at bay.

"Do you think we will get back together?" I couldn't look at him, so I turned away and glanced out the window, putting one hand to my forehead and the other to the window sill.

"I don't know"

**~X~X~X~X~X~**

Edward spent the night on the sofa and in the morning he had already gone to work. Resisting the urge to have an Irish coffee so early in the morning, I fed Charlie and then myself, taking him for a short walk before work.

When I got to work, I was very quiet going right to my work without the usual small talk and pleasantries we had at the beginning of the day. Demetri could sense something was wrong, he walked up to my once he had his overalls on and was rolling up the sleeves.

"Jacob are you alright?"

"Yeah...yes. I'm fine" I pushed up the sleeves of my overalls and turned away.

"You're lying" he stated bluntly.

"I'm not"

"Well, when you want to talk about it I'm here" I nodded absentmindedly, turning back to the car to show that I didn't want to talk about it right.

* * *

**Edward POV**

I called Tanya the next day, aware that her little offer had a deadline, telling her I accepted the offer.

She would make the arrangements and send me the details, including the travel arrangements which were to be paid for by the label. I had given in my notice at the school, much to the dismay of Angela. I was going to miss her even though she said she was happy for me and wished me good luck.

That was the easy part.

Then I had to deal with packing my things; my clothes, books and music. Most of it would be put in storage until I came back like my keyboard and most of my books and clothes. When I came back from the tour, I would find a new place. On my own.

To top it off, Jacob did his best to ignore me, leaving earlier for work and coming home later, barely talking to me on the rare occasion that he was at home. So after two weeks, I was stood by the front door, my first suitcase and guitar already in the trunk of my car, a smaller one leaning against the wall by the door. I looked around to make sure I hadn't forgotten anything, knowing full well I hadn't but stalling for time.

It was then as I made a sweep of the place that Jacob, walked out of the bathroom and leaned against the wall, shoving his hands in his pockets and keeping as much distance between us as possible, short of leaving the room. Occasionally his eyes would flicker up to look at me, but the second I looked back at him he would shift his gaze, to the celling, the floor, the window, to the side anywhere but back at me.

Sliding my jacket on, I took out my keys facing Jacob the whole time, silently begging him to just look at me. "I guess this is it" stating the fucking obvious, I really wanted to drop everything and grab him, then kiss him like my very life depended on it.

"I guess so...could you leave your keys?" his voice was level, controlled and it was like a slap to the face. However I nodded and took the flat keys off my key ring, putting them down on the table by the door when Jacob made no move to come closer. Turning so I was half facing him, turning my head back round to face him and this time he didn't look away from me.

"Jacob? Just so you know, I do love you"

"I know" it was said sadly not smugly. "But I don't think that's enough" with a brief nod, I turned round again and opened the door.

"Goodbye"

"Goodbye Edward" he whispered as I left, secretly glad he couldn't see my face as a few tears started to fall down my cheeks. Somehow I got to my car despite the tears impairing my vision, opening the boot and putting my suitcase inside, slamming it shut and looking up to the flat window.

I swore I saw Jacob disappear from the window when he saw me look up. Going to the front of the car and opening the door, I let out a deep sigh and put my hands on the top of the steering wheel leaning my forehead on my hands after closing the door, letting a few more tears fall into my lap.

_Don't leave, just go back you jackass. Tell him you love him and you'll do anything for him, anything._

Instead of listening to the voice in my head screaming at me, I wiped my cheeks and stuck the key in the ignition, driving off and glancing in the rear view mirror looking for I don't know what. For Jacob to come outside and call me back, to tell me we could work through it.

He didn't come outside and stop me, with another tear I continued driving, peeling my eyes away from the rear view mirror.

* * *

**Jacob POV**

Hearing his car pull away, I released the breath that I hadn't been aware I was holding, slumping against the wall by the window and closing my eyes.

As stalkerish as it was, I had watched him get to his car his shoulders shaking slightly his back the only part of him facing me, until he turned round. As soon as he titled his head up, I moved out of his sight to the side of the window, although he had probably already seen me.

Though it was selfish of me, I wanted him to stop. I wanted him to come back and tell me that he wanted to stay, that we could work out anything between us because he loved me. but he got in the car, and yet he sat in the car for a while and I dared to hope he had changed his mind. Then he started the engine and left, I doubted he looked back at all.

Letting out a shaky breath, I kept my eyes closed and despite myself, a tear rolled down my cheek and I soon collapsed in sobs. Ending up on the floor, with my knees to my chest and my hands over my face as I cried like I might never stop.

**~X~X~X~X~X~**

Going to work, I was short tempered and sullen with everything and everyone, unfortunately like before Demetri was aware of it, though that he bore the brunt of my bad mood was a big clue.

"Jacob are you okay?"

"Yes!" I almost yelled at him, turning back to the car angrily so he couldn't see my face.

"Why don't I believe you?"

"What are you my fucking shrink? It's none of your business" looking over the hood at him, he didn't look mildly offended or angry, in the past few days he had been very patient with me though I hardly deserved it with the way I pretty much attacked his work all the time.

"No, I can see something is bothering you though" I glared at him and he shrugged wiping the grease off his hands on the back of his overalls, all with a light smile. "Like I said before, I'm here if you need me"

I grunted in response, we were colleagues not friends, even if we did send the odd humorous text with an undertone of flirtyness to it. We got back to our work, me cursing none too quietly every so often, but Demetri staying very quiet.

At the end of the day, Demetri was going to leave but I remained by the car, looking at the engine with a puzzled look. He stood by the door, his overalls put away so he were a fitted navy short sleeved V-neck that showed all of his well-muscled chest and arms, along with dark jeans that showed off his other _assets_ as well. He stood there a minute or two before he spoke.

"I think I need a drink"

"Have fun"

"Jacob" I looked up and raised an eyebrow, he took a step back closer to me.

"Yeah?"

"Do you want to join me?" I gave him a blank look.

"Join you what?" he let out a huff and smirked at me.

"Join me for a drink?"

"Oh!...sorry but I kinda wanna work some more on this"

"It will still be here tomorrow" he coaxed, taking a few steps closer.

"I guess..." I still wasn't too convinced but he was standing right next to me, quite close actually I hadn't told him about Edward and I...splitting up, but it dawned on me that he was trying to flirt with me, even though he thought I was unavailable.

"Come on, we deserve it" then he actually put his hand on mine, I think the only way he could have been more forward was if he just kissed me then and there.

"Alight then" I agreed, needing a drink more than anything.

When we got to the bar, we ordered our drinks and then took them to a booth near the back. Nearly draining half of my beer in one go, I sighed in relief and slowed down as Demetri only sipped his slowly.

"You're not going to start singing again, are you?" laughing, I shook my head at him.

"Don't worry, I won't subject you to that torture again. I'll pace myself this time"

"It was amusing" he admitted. "Until you threw up" he smiled and I grinned back, shaking my head.

"It's fucking embarrassing, making such an ass of myself. So can we not talk about that?"

"Okay, I will try to forget how you started dancing" I groaned in embarrassment and took a sip of beer. "Or how you almost started to strip"

"You never told me that part!" he simply grinned mischievously and took a big gulp of his beer, looking very smug.

"Do you want to know, everything you did?" I shook my head vigorously, taking another swig of my drink.

"God no, I think I'm better off not knowing" he continued to smile and I finished my drink, hopping to my feet to get another round in.

After my third drink, I ended up telling him what happened with me and Edward. Including the part where we broke off our engagement and he left. By the end, he was sitting close enough that his leg was pressed right against mine, his hand covering my own in a gesture that was just too intimate for me. Almost snatching my hand back and sliding away from him, I stood up and grabbed my jacket.

"I-I...erm...need a smoke, I'm going to step outside for a minute" he was about to rise from his seat and I shook my head.

"I could come with you"

"No!" I said a little too loudly, attracting some attention from some of the people at the nearby tables. "No, that's fine, it's a terrible habit and I've been meaning to quit" I rambled making up some bullshit excuse that I'm sure he saw right through, so going outside I lit up.

Taking a few drags before walking quickly to where my car was parked, pretty sure I wasn't too much over the limit. When I got into the flat, I was about to call out for Edward when I remembered and his name died on my lips.

The flat seemed so much bigger without Edward's shit everywhere, his guitar and keyboard was no longer by the bookshelf to the side of the television and his books and music that had occupied a lot of space left wide holes on the shelves. Lighting up as Charlie ran up to me and started rubbing against my leg, I ignored him and went to pour myself a large measure of vodka neat. Knocking it back in one go and then taking the bottle and glass with me I sat on the couch, taking puffs off of the cigarette in between sips or rather gulps of vodka.

The burn in my throat was familiar and the numbness that came with the alcohol was welcome as I sat in the half light of my very quiet, very empty flat.

**~X~X~X~X~X~**

The next few days didn't get much better, nearly went through two packs of cigarettes a day. Plus, if I wasn't at work trying to avoid or ignore Demetri at all costs, I was at home, going through bottles of whiskey and vodka like it was water.

Then here I was sitting in front of the television with my fifteenth or seventeenth cigarette of the day, along with another glass of cheap whiskey as I channel hopped and found myself on a music channel. A music channel that was showing the latest footage of the Mumford and Sons tour, which was currently showing Edward on stage.

He was gorgeous.

He wore a bottle green shirt that brought out the bright green of his eyes and was a beautiful contrast to his messy bronze hair, along with jeans that hugged his hips well. He had walked onto the stage, to the mike with his guitar in hand as the crowd grew silent. He took a deep breath, lifting his eyes up as he scanned the crowds faces before started to strum the guitar expertly.

"This is Van Morrison's I'll Be You're Lover, Too" I took a last puff of the cigarette, stubbing it out and leaning forwards as I knew that song. It was one of his favourites and he had sung it to me countless times, with his stunning husky voice.

"This song, is for someone...very special to me" closing my eyes, I listened as he started to sing.

_I'll be your man,_

_I'll understand,_

I mouthed along with the words so well, not singing along as I wanted to hear his voice.

_And I'll do my best,_

_To take good care of you,_

The crowd started to cheer, falling in love with his voice, like I had years ago. They cheered and I imagined I was there, right at the front where he could see me and he would give me that crooked grin.

_You'll be my queen,_

_I'll be your king,_

_And I'll be your lover, too._

_Yeah, yeah_

_Yes I will._

We would look at each other, like we were the only ones there at all.

_Derry down green,_

_Colour of my dream,_

_A dream that's daily coming true._

_And oh, when the day is through,_

_I will come to you and tell you,_

_Of your many charms,_

Soon the song came to the end, he stopped playing his voice stopping too as the crowd cheered impossible louder as he gave another smile, waved and walked off the stage. Sighing heavily and draining my drink, I lit another cigarette and switched of the television.

* * *

**Edward POV**

Even though he was miles away, at the start of each set I searched the crowd for the familiar face of Jacob. I couldn't hide my disappointment each time that I didn't see his face, even though I knew it was stupid to try and look.

"Edward!" called out Tanya, as she walked into the dressing room without knocking, yet again.

"Hello Tanya" I greeted, rolling up the sleeves of my shirt and undoing the top button.

"Darling" she said in her usual breezy manner, sitting on the couch crossing her legs so her skirt rode up a little. "Isn't this the opportunity of a lifetime?" I couldn't see where she was going with this so I smiled and nodded.

"Of course it is" her smile faded, making her look very scary.

"Then why is it, every time you go on stage you look at the audience and then you look so damn morose?" opening my mouth to respond, she barrelled on anyway. "And sweetie, I love you...but please play something that doesn't make me want to cry and slit my wrists!" a touch melodramatic there, but the point was made.

"Do you even have tear ducts, Tanya?"

"No" she responded drily. "Look, all I'm saying is act a little happier, play something more...er...upbeat" she smiled, which looked a little creepier than her serious face. "...Or don't, just as long as you look like you are happy to be here"

"I'll try" she grinned wider, showing off perfect bleached white teeth that for some reason made me think of a vampire...or a succubus. Standing up and walking over to me, she patted my shoulder, checking her blackberry as it beeped twice.

"That's m'boy, now you go chill for now, I have some important calls to make. I'll see you at dinner tonight, okay?" she didn't wait for an answer assuming the affirmative and walking out as she started to dial a number.

When she closed the door behind her, I sighed sinking back into my chair in front of the mirror, covering my face with my hands. I am on the way to everything I wanted since the day I told my father I would not be going to med school, so why does it feel so bitter sweet? I knew the answer to that.

Getting out my wallet, I flipped it open and looked at the picture in the picture in the window. It was a picture of Jacob, he was lying on his front in the living room, his head was turned to the camera, though he had been taken by surprise he smiled widely.

"_What are you doing?" he asked, sitting up as I sat next to him on the carpet._

"_Taking your picture" I reply with a smirk as I take another picture, although this time his eyes were half closed._

"_Give me that" he reached for the camera, but I move it out of his reach and he climbs into my lap to grab it from me. This time I let him take it, putting my hands on his waist and nuzzling the side of his neck, leaving butterfly kisses._

_My lips pressed to his pulse point, he held out the camera at arm's length and I heard the click of the shutter, at he took our picture. Smiling into his neck I went along with it, I moved my hands to his shoulder blades and then slowly trailed my hands down his spine and feeling him shiver in pleasure._

_Pushing up the back of his shirt, I started to trace small circles on his bare skin, my mouth travelling up his neck to his jaw. His breathing picked up and I smiled against his jaw, trailing, my lips to his ear and biting his earlobe, one of my hands lowering to grab his ass as I lifted my hips to grind them into his._

_Fisting my hair in one hand to guide my mouth to his, he groaned as we simultaneously ground our hips together creating some friction where we wanted it the most. The moment our lips crashed together, there was another click from the camera._

_Pulling my head back, he grinned kissing the corner of my mouth, then my cheek before standing up much to my dismay and my now throbbing erection. He went to the sofa and got a cushion, returning to straddle me with the cushion in one hand the camera in the other and a sexy smirk on his face._

"_Lie down baby" he said, his voice all sexy and throaty, I immediately did as he asked and he put the cushion under my head, lifting the camera and taking a photo of me underneath him. "Do you have any idea how fucking hot you look right now?" he leaned in, kissing me hard before I could answer, I just returned the kiss letting him take control._

_Parting my lips for him, he almost roughly shoved his tongue in my mouth, hungrily and it only turned me on even more. Judging by the way he continued to essentially dry hump me, it was clear he knew the effect he had on me._

_Another click as one hand went down my chest, unbuttoning my shirt one handed with only some difficulty. When all of the buttons were undone, he pushed the shirt open to show my torso to him, his hot mouth leaning down to play with my nipples, sucking one into his mouth as he circled the other with his free hand which sent jolts of pleasure to my achingly hard dick. More clicks as he switched nipples, driving me mad with lust._

"_Jake..." I pleaded, he left hot open mouthed kisses up my chest to my ear._

"_What do you want, baby?" I gasped as he put the camera down and roughly palmed my clothed cock, whilst twisting my left nipple in his other hand._

"_Fuck, I need...oh fuck, oh more" I was virtually panting with my need and desire for him._

"_More?" all I could do was nod as he unzipped my jeans, then he pushed them down my legs lifting my hips to help him, rid me of them. Now I was only in my boxers and unbuttoned shirt, keeping my underwear on he smirked again and I wanted to wipe the smile off of his face, preferably with my own lips. I lifted my hips impatiently, my arousal tenting my boxers, he traced my abs slowly dipping one hand underneath the waistband of my boxers._

"_Jake" I moaned, barely aware of anything else but his hands on my body. Then he started to flick the head of my cock, gathering the pre cum that had gathered there, lifting it to his lips and letting his tongue flick out and taste it. I moaned at the sight, then I grabbed him and kissed him forcefully, tasting myself on him which only made me moan louder._

"_What do you want?" he repeated and I lifted my leg, hooking it round his waist and flipping us over, so I was hovering over him now._

"_I want to fuck you, right here" grabbing him through his jeans, it was his turn to moan into our kiss._

"_Then you have me" with a growl, I started essentially ripping off his clothes not that he seemed to mind _too _much. "Hey! I liked that shirt" he pouted as the buttons went flying._

"_I'll buy you a new one" I replied, lowering myself to settle between his thighs giving the shaft of his cock a swift lick, then circling the head with my tongue._

"_Shit, that feels good babe" then he stopped talking when I raised a finger to his lips and he understood right away. Taking my finger into his mouth, he coated it in saliva, hollowing out his cheeks and sucking on my finger before releasing it with a pop._

_When I trailed the fingers down to his balls, the only sounds coming from him were moans along with my name, every so often. Then when I teased his tight hole, the moans and shouts of my name grew louder, making me smirk around his cock._

The memory of that evening was so real, so vivid that I found myself smiling and missing Jacob even more.

* * *

**A/N: so early upload and a steamy scene to make up for the break up, until next time!**


	6. Reservations

**Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own Twilight or any of the characters.**

* * *

**Chapter VI – Reservations**

**Edward POV**

"So, after the show there is an interview for a magazine, Kiss or Kerrang" she waved her hand dismissively. "Something like that..." she paused not because she was short on words, she started with her narrow glasses perched on her nose. Not that she needed glasses, they were the weakest prescription and she had many pairs in different styles and colours, matching them to her outfits.

"What is it Tanya?" I asked as I was given a blazer to try on by the stylist.

"Nothing is wrong" she put emphasis on the last word which made me doubt her, she wasn't a very good liar, well not after I realised that playing with her glasses was her tell

"Just tell me, already" pushing up her glasses, she stood and took a few steps towards me, her heels clacking with each step.

"Do you know they are calling you the new 'Ed Sheeran'?" I rolled my eyes, she had told me this yesterday, reading the exact line from a music magazine with glee.

"I may have heard that"

"I got a call about an interview on one of those talk shows with the band"

"Okay...?" I wish she would just get to the point.

"Thanks Alec, you can go now" the stylist simply nodded and then promptly left the dressing room, Tanya shutting the door after he walked out, turning back to me. "Well it's a bit of a...delicate matter" taking a sip of water I raised my eyebrows at her. "Are you still with Jacob? Only you hardly ever talk about him" I had never told her why I had chosen to go on tour or what had happened when we talked about the tour, four weeks back.

"We broke up, before I left" I replied swiftly, dropping her gaze and taking another sip of water.

"I'm sorry about that" I shrugged going for casual indifference. "Well then, I should tell you that a lot of the girls love you. You're actually becoming a bit of a sex symbol" that shocked me a little, I hadn't about that at all I just wanted to play my music.

"Okay?" I didn't see where this was going or what it had to do with Jacob and me.

"As the majority of your ever growing fan base is largely female with them seeing you as a good looking bloke, what I'd like to suggest is that you...don't let on about your...sexual preference" I was stunned into silence.

"You want me to pretend to be straight"

"You don't have to lie, just don't mention it" frowning I started to pace in front of the mirror.

"Anything else? Shall I dye my hair? Get some facial piercings and a few aggressive looking tattoos?" my voice rose, angrily and she could tell I was far from happy at her suggestion.

"Calm down, Edward" she spoke in a measured tone, thinking carefully about her next words. "The music industry is a business, it's not just about the talent and music now it's about your image as well" I let out a huff, then putting one hand to the side of my head as I clenched my jaw but let her continue.

"Personally, it doesn't matter to me who you like but there are some small minded, bigots out there" I knew that was true from personal experience. "I hate to say it Edward, but coming out may have a severely negatively impact on your career" I sighed heavily, dropping my hand and turning my head to look at her.

"I'll think about it" she just nodded and ten left.

**~X~X~X~X~X~**

"Eddie!" boomed my brother as I answered the phone. It was a video call, so smiling at him he grinned back widely, happy as a clam.

"Hi Emmett, how are you?"

"I'm good, good...in fact I would like you to meet someone" the camera shifted, as he turned and still smiling he moved so I could see the hospital room he was in. In particular the hospital bed in which an exhausted looking Rosalie lay, with a wrapped bundle in her arms from which a small hand emerged to grip one of her fingers and get a rare smile from Rosalie.

"Hey there" she cooed.

"Edward, I would like you to meet my baby girl and your niece..." then Rose and Emmett moved out of view as I saw the face of my niece. She had a dusting of pale almost white, blond hair and ivory skin. She yawned and opened clear blue eyes the exact same shade as of blue as Emmett's eyes.

"Say hello to Peyton Rose Hale-Cullen" he moved the phone so I could see the three of them on the small screen of my phone. He perched on the side of the bed and gave his wife a one armed hug, kissing her head and squeezing her shoulder as she leaned her head on his chest.

"She is gorgeous, too gorgeous. Rose are you sure my ugly ass of a brother is the father?" she laughed and Emmett's smile faltered turning into a glare, nudging his stomach with her elbow she shook her head.

"Yeah, I'm sure. So when are you going to come and see us?"

"I'll be in Seattle in four weeks"

"Four whole weeks?" said Emmett disbelievingly. "Fu-" he was cut off by his wife, who glared at him. "You better come see us as soon as you can then" he said instead going for a contrite grin at Rosalie who seemed satisfied as she turned back to Peyton.

"I will don't worry, I will I will also bring plenty of gifts for all of you" Rose smiled and Emmett stood up as a nurse walked in, judging by the sound of the door being opened and a female voice talking to Rosalie. My brother moved from the bed, towards the door and aiming his next comment at his wife and the nurse.

"I'll just be outside" after a little more jostling, the camera straightened out and he was back on the screen in front of me. "Right, after the miracle that is childbirth there is breastfeeding, and I know you don't want to witness that" I laughed and nodded in agreement.

"There are some things you just can't unsee" he chuckled at my comment, but after a few moments he stopped and his expression turned serious.

"So when are you going to tell me what really happened with you and Jacob?" I hesitated before answering, I had told him and my mother about the wedding being called off and fobbed them off with a half baked excuse.

"We called off the wedding"

"No shit Sherlock. But why, you were good when we saw you" that wasn't strictly true, there was the incident at the bar in London and Jean offering me studio time. If anything it had all been brewing under the surface and we had good poker faces.

"We had...issues and unfortunately we couldn't work past them" I sighed and ran a hand through my hair.

"That is pathetic"

"Excuse me?" I raised my eyebrows and he shook his head, as he frowned.

"I thought you loved him"

"I do!" I protested against his harsh tone.

"Then why did you just give up?"

"I didn't!" he shook his head again, this time he looked almost disappointed with me.

"You did, Ed. Face it, you had some problems and instead of facing them, you took the easy way out" clenching my jaw I shook my head, but he continued.

"What am I supposed to do?" I whined, deeply aware of how I sounded.

"Stop being such a pussy, for starters" was his matter of fact reply.

"That's really helpful" I responded sarcastically.

"From the sound of it Jacob, might not be single for long" I knew he was trying to goad me and it was working, I thought about Demetri the great bug hulking Russian with the crush on Jacob. I hated the thought of them being alone in a room together and detested the thought of anything else happening between the two of them.

"I still don't know what to do"

"Fucking hell, call him you ass wipe!"

"Oh...yeah...right. Bye!"

"Bye" he hung up and I looked at my watch, I was in Chicago and the time was half past five, so it should be around half eleven in London. Leaning back in the armchair by the window and opposite the television, in my hotel room I started playing with the thin silver chain around my neck. The ring slipped down the chin and I twisted it round, looking at the plain band and making up my mind.

Turning round and picking up my cell phone again, I hit the speed dial number for Jacob, holding the phone to one ear and clutching the chain and ring in my other hand. Shutting my eyes and hoping and praying for him to pick up the phone.

* * *

**Jacob POV**

Fuck it was difficult trying to ignore someone you worked with. So as I had been doing before when I got to work I immersed myself making sure I was busy enough not to talk to him. Yet we had to take a break sometime.

When we stopped to get a cup of coffee in his case and a cigarette in mine, he waited until I had taken a deep breath of smoke into my lungs and sweet, sweet nicotine before ambushing me.

"Jacob?" I almost jumped as he approached me.

"Hey there Demetri" I said, opting for casual indifference.

"Where did you go last night?" she seemed a little put out, the corners of his mouth tugged down in a deep frown.

"I...uh...I wasn't feeling too great, so I had to leave. And my erm...phone died, so I couldn't call and let you know" there were gaping holes in my story and I hoped he would just leave it at that.

"Oh" he said, I wasn't sure he bought it until the frown softened and he nodded, accepting my excuse.

"Yeah, sorry" it was so lame, but I did feel a little bad for ditching him like that.

Going quiet, he drank his coffee and I finished smoking, wanting a proper drink and another smoke bad enough that would have shocked me a few months ago. However, now I lit up another as Demetri turned his focus back to me again.

"Are you going to Whiskey Mist tonight?" I cocked an eyebrow at him in confusion and he smiled. "Do you ever check your emails?"

"Not really" I took a deep breath waiting for him to elaborate on his point.

"Jane got a promotion, so she is having a celebration at the club, tonight" knowing the pretentious cow, it was probably an excuse to show off to everyone 'beneath her'.

"Oh gosh, I don't have to listen to her gloat as she makes her way to the VIP table, do I?" he laughed at my comment and dry tone, before shaking his head.

"We could always get a few free drinks out of her and leave" he had me at free drinks.

"In that case, what time does good ol' Jane want us there?"

**~X~X~X~X~X~**

Getting to the club at about half ten, early by all accounts for me, I had gotten past the bouncer and made my way through the club. For a Thursday night there was already quite a crowd, but I knew where everyone would be so I headed for the VIP section.

Leaving work early, I got home by eight to get ready, showering and changing into light grey straight cut jeans and a pale pink shirt, because that didn't scream gay. It felt a little stiff though so I undid the first two buttons and rolled up the sleeves before grabbing a jacket and leaving.

Getting to the table, Jane looked up and greeted me with a measured smile. "Hello Jacob"

"Hi Jane, congrats on the promotion"

"Thank you" she handed me a glass of champagne and I accepted it as Demetri looked up and grinned, holding up his own glass in acknowledgement of my arrival and a silent toast.

After a few more people joined our group, we all raised our glasses in a toast to Jane, although I had a strong feeling most of the others had come for the same reason as me, the promise of free booze. Knocking back my champagne, quickly someone next to me topped up my glass. Turning my head round to see Demetri I accepted the refill, knocking it back just as quick.

Feeling giddy, I got another drink pacing myself a bit this time for I had started drinking at home, swigging from a cheap bottle of wine as I had gotten ready for the evening.

"Thanks" he smiled, standing closer than he had been when he topped up my drink.

"Anytime" some of the others left the booth, heading to t dance floor as the song changed into an upbeat Rihanna song. "How about a dance?"

"No, thanks" sipping my drink, I got my phone out to look at the time as I had forgotten my watch, it was fifty minutes past ten and I didn't have any missed calls or messages, I tucked it away in my front jeans pocket.

"You sure?" I looked round to see Jane necking another drink and I shuddered involuntarily as I didn't want to be stuck with her for the rest of the night.

"On second thought" draining my glass and slamming it down, I nodded at him and we made our way through the crowd, with him in front of me. Getting to a less crowded spot on the floor we started to dance, I stood a couple of steps away from him dancing by myself. Yet, as the club got more packed, there was less space around and between us so we were forced to stand closer to each other.

Demetri didn't seem to notice, that was until I was shoved forward and bumped into him, he put his hands on my arms to steady me, smiling and making no move to let go shift away from me.

"Are you okay?" he yelled over the music, I nodded instead of replying verbally. Then somewhat reluctantly he dropped his hands from my arms and we continued to dance, though the club seemed to get more crowded and hotter too.

"Hey, do you want a drink?" I yelled though he was right next to me.

"What?" he scrunched up his face in confusion.

"A drink? Drink!" I mimed drinking and he nodded.

"Yeah. I will have a whiskey" nodding back, I made my way through the crowd with some degree of difficulty due to a lot of the dancers grinding and making out with their respective partners. Ignoring the glares as I pushed past to get away from the dance floor, I breathed out a sigh of relief when I got to the bar and away from the dancers.

"Two large whiskeys, neat" the bartender nodded, when the drinks were placed in front of me Demetri made his way towards me as I paid, handing him a glass when he leaned back against the side of the bar. Away from the packed dance floor it was thankfully, cooler and a little quieter, at least I could now hear myself think.

We were both quiet as we sipped our drinks, I looked around the club and although it was more expensive and high class than any of the other places I used to frequent, is was more or less the same thing with more security and over priced drinks.

Guys prowled the club preying on pretty drunk girls or got them drunk by paying for their drinks, using cheesy pick up lines. Looking around I saw how pathetic it all was, the only point of coming to one of these places was to pick someone up or top get picked up. And for what? One night stands that meant nothing and yet made you feel like shit.

I can't believe that I was one of those people, how the fuck did I end up here alone? Oh that's right, I broke up with my fiancé and best friend, leaving me with the guy I worked with who had a bit of a crush on me.

What was the point of it all?

"Jake?" shaking my head I glanced at Demetri, who had put down at his drink and was looking at me in a way that suggested that he had been trying to get my attention for a while now.

"Yeah?"

"Do you want another drink?"

"Sure, same again, please" putting down my empty glass and turning away from the dj's box to face him. He pressed the drink into my hand, brushing his fingers against my hand as he slowly pulled away to get his own drink.

"Thanks" I sipped it slowly, still looking around the club. Putting down my empty glass I turned my head to look at Demetri, he smiled at me and I smiled back. "I'm going to go for a smoke, it is way too crowded in here"

"I'll come with you" he put down his own glass. "I don't want you leaving without any warning again" he smiling to know he was joking, partly, with a nod made our way through the club to the small outside smoking area.

"Can I have one?" he asked when I got out the pack, nodding and getting out two cigarettes and lighting them, I kept one in my mouth handing him the other one. Closing my eyes I took a few deep lungfulls, sighing in relief as I felt the nicotine buzz.

I had way too many bad habits.

Opening my eyes and tapping ash of the end of my cigarette, I leaned against the wall looking right ahead, I didn't need to look at Demetri to know he was staring at me. Taking another puff I exhaled slowly, turning my head and seeing I was right.

It was only slightly less crowded outside, the main different being that was pleasantly cool and people outside didn't shove against us. But we were still forced to stand fairly close, our shoulders almost but not quite touching. Catching him looking at me, I raised an eyebrow and he smiled, I smiled back at him in response.

* * *

**Edward POV**

It kept ringing then I heard the click, about to speak my heart dropped when I heard his voice mail message play. Waiting for the message to finish, I stood and started to pace as I talked to the machine.

"Jacob, it's me...uh...Edward. I...erm...I wanted to talk to you" with a frustrated growl I hit the button to re-record my message. Take two.

"Hi!" my voice sounded too light and happy, another try.

"Jacob, its Edward...er...I just wanted to say that..." I trailed off, not quite knowing how to finish that sentence.

"Where are you?" too angry.

"Can we talk?" too fucking needy.

"Ja-" ah fucking hell.

Nearly ripping my hair out, I sank down onto t he couch, covering eyes with one hand as I held the phone to my ear with my other hand. Here we go, one last try not to sound like a total douche bag.

"Jake, I love you. I can't do this, cause I fucking miss you. Please, call me back" hanging up and dropping the phone, I groaned loudly lying down on the sofa, keeping my face covered.

* * *

**Jacob POV**

At that moment he kissed me.

I was shocked, not that he was a bad kisser, no he definitely knew what he was doing. I was shocked because, I started kissing him back, he moved so that my back was pressed against the brick wall and my chest was flush with his own.

Though we kept kissing, my mind was listing all the ways in which he was different from Edward. He was taller, more muscled, stronger more forceful than him, everything he did was different and I wasn't used to any of it.

"Do you want to go?" I nodded and he was tugging on my hand, tightly as if I might disappear at any moment, leading back inside and to the front exit.

Then we were in a cab, before I could really comprehend what I was doing. He was reeling off the address to his place and we drove off, he was kissing me again and the cab driver had to clear his throat when we arrived at his flat.

I let him lead me up the steps to his first floor apartment, he only let go of my hand to unlock the door. I stopped at the door when I saw his place, well at least the open plan living room and kitchen, it was the very definition of a bachelor pad. With a flat screen, gamin console and an array of games like Call of Duty, he even had a black leather sofa.

"Coming in?" I nodded.

"Sure, sure" he closed the door behind me and smiled before kissing me again. Responding to the kiss I soon found myself divulged of my jacket and shirt, he started tugging me in what I assumed was the way to the bedroom.

"Shall I give you the grand tour?" he asked suggestively in a low whisper a phrase which reminded me of something.

"_Here we are!" I chimed, taking Edward's suitcase from him and putting it down by the back of the sofa, before turning back to him and kissing his cheek. "Welcome home" we both smiled and he put an arm around my waist to pull me in and laid his other hand on my cheek, pulling e in close for our first kiss in months._

"_I swear that was the fucking" he kissed me again. "Longest flight" another kiss. "Ever" and then another._

"_Then don't leave again"_

"_No way, baby. Not if I can help it" our bodied flush, I could feel every inch of his chest pressed against mine and his hard on against my stomach._

"_Well then..." I leaned back and cocked an eyebrow at him, hooking my fingers through the belt loops of his jeans. "Shall I give you the grand tour?"_

"_Can we start with the bedroom?" _

"_Of course babe" I gave him a quick kiss, not being able to resist. "After all we need to test the bed" he grinned and took my hand letting me lead him to the bedroom._

"Jacob?" snapping my attention back to Demetri, the very real memory of Edward vanished and I remembered where I really was. "Jacob are you okay?"

Shaking my head I took a step back.

"Can I have a moment? Where's your bathroom?"

"It's down there" he pulled back and pointed down the hallway. "The first door to the left"

"Thanks" walking past him, I got to the bathroom and closed the door behind me, leaning against it and letting out a deep sigh. Going over to the sink, I splashed some water on my face, I was still buzzing from all of the alcohol I had consumed but I started to feel like I was coming down from my high.

This all felt wrong. Kissing Demetri and coming to his place, I had been with Edwards for almost a year and we had been friends longer than that before. He was always here and now he wasn't, we had broken up and yet this all felt wrong.

Leaving the bathroom and going back to the living room, Demetri was pouring a drink which he handed to me as I sat opposite him on the couch. Accepting the drink and taking a few quick gulps as he sipped his own slowly.

We were both quiet, as I held the empty glass in both hands I stared at the floor, trying to think of what to say.

"Demetri"

"Jacob" we spoke at the same time and then he put down his glass and motioned for me to speak first.

"I just got out of a really serious relationship...so I don't think that this..." I gestured between me and him. "...is a good idea, I'm still...I'm not quite over my relationship and I don't want to mess you about" he nodded, looking down for a moment before glancing back at me.

"Of course, I get that"

"I'm sorry"

"It's okay" he replied quickly. I looked to the floor, suddenly remembering that I was still shirtless.

"Uh...Demetri, where is my shirt?" he looked round standing up and picking it up from the floor where it had been throw along with my jacket, handing it to me so I could slip it back on and button it up. "Well, then I think I'll just get going, I'll see you at work" patting my jeans for my phone it wasn't there so I patted my jacket and shirt pockets then I noticed it on the coffee table.

"I saw it on the floor, you must have dropped it" he passed me the cell phone as I stood, giving him a brief smile and nod I headed to the door as did he, I opened the door and half turned towards him.

"See you"

"Bye Jacob" leaving out his place I got out my phone realising that it was half an hour past midnight, I didn't have calls or messages, so getting to the main street I called a cab and waited.

**~X~X~X~X~X~**

"So nothing else happened?"

"Nothing else, I just couldn't" I sighed, sitting down on the couch. "It felt like I was cheating, does that make sense?" Leah sighed and I leaned back in the armchair, holding the phone to my ear as I rubbed my jaw with my other hand.

"Yeah, I guess. Have you heard from him?"

"Not a word"

"Dickhead"

"We did break up"

"And whose fault is that?"

"No one's" she fell silent for a moment and I took a sip of my drink as I waited for a sarcastic or spiteful response from her.

"Well he's the one who left"

"No one is perfect"

"Yes, I know that" she admitted somewhat begrudgingly. "You still love him" it was a statement. If anyone knew me as well if not better than Edward it was Leah, even miles away and on the phone she could always tell.

"I do, unfortunately there is not much I can do about that" choosing to change the subject, I asked her about Jared and she told me how he how he had asked her to move in with him.

"I'm happy for you"

"Thanks Jake, it's not the same here you know" I knew that was Leah speak for 'I miss you'.

"I know, I miss you"

Hanging up, I drained my glass and poured out another before turning to the television and flicking channels until I got to some celebrity gossip channel, where they were doing an interview with Edward.

The interviewer was a very blond, tanned, thin girl that looked like she should still be in school. Edward looked gorgeous, in a blue denim shirt with a few button unbuttons at the top and the sleeves rolled up a bit with chinos and Fred Perry shoes. He nervously ran a hand through his hair, his knees shaking slightly as the girl introduced him.

"Here we are with Edward Cullen, the hottest new talent right now!" she smiled widely at the camera excitedly, she was so sweet I thought I might puke. Turning away from the camera and to Edward, she continued smiling brightly at him and he gave her a nervous half smile in return. "Edward, how is it being on tour with Mumford and Sons?"

"It is...amazing" he smiled genuinely now, his knee stopped shaking and he fiddled with a chain around his neck. "I honestly never imagined I'd be able to do something like this"

"A lot of people have compared you to Ed Sheeran, what are your thoughts on that?" continuing to fiddle with the chain that was tucked into the front of his shirt, there was a glimmer of something on the end of the chain.

"I am a big fan of his, so that's a great compliment but I don't think I can really compare to someone like him"

"Modest" she said approvingly, nodding and crossing her legs making the tiny dark pink skirt she wore ride up to show more tanned thigh. "So, after the tour what come next for you?"

"Well, I've been working on my album and I have a single coming out soon. The end of next month in fact" rehearsed much? "From there I don't know...but I look forward to seeing where it goes" he smiled again and this time as he twisted the chain round his index finger something slipped down the chain and hit his hand.

It was the ring I had given him, I almost certain of it.

He glanced right at the camera then, holding onto the ring and giving my favourite crooked smile to the camera. For a moment it looked like he was looking right at me, did he really know me that well, to know that I would be watching?

"I think this is a question most of your female fans are dying to know. Edward, are you currently dating anyone?" he was taken aback by the forwardness of the question, and for a few seconds he blinked rapidly before catching himself.

"Not really" he was deliberately evasive. "I am concentrating on my music, I very little time for anything else at the moment"

"Okay, thank you for your time. Unfortunately that's all we have time for" she turned back to the camera with the big smile and before she could deliver some cheesy scripted exit line, I switched the television off and picked up my phone.

Stubbing out my cigarette, I dialled Edward's number quickly, anxiously drumming my fingers against my knee, waiting for an answer but also half not wanting an answer as I had no idea what to say to him.

I got his voicemail.

"Fucking great" I said as I heard the recording and just hung up instead of leaving a message, lighting up another cigarette after putting my phone.

* * *

**Edward POV**

After the interview, leaving the studio I got out my hone getting outside where a car was waiting when a runner bumped into me. My phone slipped from my grasp, smashing on the concrete and then for good measure the bits of my phone bounced and landed in a puddle.

The runner didn't notice, laden down with several cups of coffee and a few books and files under both arms. She walked off and I cursed, fishing out the remains of my phone and getting into the car.

**~X~X~X~X~X~**

"That is pretty banged up" remarked the spotty teen behind the counter as he poked at was used to be my phone.

"I know that, can you fix it?"

"I don't know man" he shrugged and turned to his manager who was passing by, tapping his shoulder and speaking in a low voice, pointing at my phone. He turned to face me with a very fake smile. Telling him what I had spent nearly half an hour explaining to the clueless teen behind the desk, he nodded even so often looking to the phone then at me.

"We will have to send it off to be repaired"

"And how long will that take?" I asked warily, crossing my arms and sighing heavily.

"Three to four weeks, you'll need a new sim card too by the looks of it"

"Great, do I at least get a replacement phone?"

**~X~X~X~X~X~**

"Where the hell have you been?" about to explain, Tanya shook her head. "Never mind just go change your on in twenty" shrugging I walked off as her phone bleeped loudly, getting her attention away from me.

Fiddling with my crap replacement phone, I couldn't figure out how to unlock it, so with another sigh I stuck it in my pocket as I walked into the dressing room. I proceeded to get ready, taking a few sips of bottled water as I did so, waiting for the moment where I was called to the stage.

Hearing the cheers as my name was called out, I headed onto the stage the house band already in place as I slung my guitar over my shoulder and took my place in front of the mike. Adjusting the mike stand quickly, I used this moment to do my usual scan of the crowd, this time I remembered what Tanya said to me and so I smiled at the crowd soaking up the cheers.

"How you doing, New York?" the crowd screamed louder if possible and I raised a hand in the air for a moment before lowering it to the guitar. I had to admit this feeling, standing in front of a crowd was exhilarating and I hadn't even started to play yet. "So, I thought I'd do something a little different, I hope you like it"

Nodding to the bass guitarist and we started to play the song we rehearsed.

"_One, two, three, four,_

_Wheels running fast down the one eighteen,_

_Every kiss is sweeter with some nicotine,_

_The little white lightning underneath my seat, oh yeah"_

As I played I swayed along with the beat, leaning in close to the mike.

"_The sun's going down like a sinking stone,_

_A dog's barking in the distance imma throw him a bone,_

_You got that look on your face, like something's gunna go wrong, oh yeah yeah"_

My grin grew wider, tapping my foot along to beat and feeding off the intense energy of the crowd.

"_The way you looking so good in the cotton dress,_

_There's just no telling what I'll do next_

_But one thing's for sure and it'll sure be fun_

_Stay away from my trigger, imma loaded gun_

_Stay away from my trigger, imma loaded gun"_

* * *

**Jacob POV**

Had given up on the glass and just started swigging the vodka straight from the bottle, taking puffs of my cigarette in between gulps.

I hadn't gone to work in nearly a week, feigning illness although I doubted my new boss bought it, I spent the majority of my time either sleeping off a hangover or inducing one. I went out to get more booze and cigarettes, pretty much living off of take-away food and lounging on my couch watching old episodes of glee.

It was pathetic, really pathetic. But when I felt sad I drank more and got another pack of cigarettes out, crushing it by trying to forget it. It helped...for a while.

It wasn't as if I had a bad life, my childhood was good with the exception of my mother's death. I had gotten through that though with my sisters and father, without too many angry teenager acts of violence.

After my loathsome job as a salesman, I somehow managed to land a job I liked and one that paid well. But after nearly sleeping with the guy I worked with I didn't know if I could face going back there just yet.

It was my relationships which always took a nose dive. I had an inkling that I was gay in my early teen years sometime after my mother's passing. However it was a fumble in the back seat of my car, with my very female prom date that cemented the fact that I was not interested in girls in a sexual way.

When I came out to my family they were extremely supportive, they were shocked naturally and it took my dad a while to wrap his head round it but he came round eventually. He wasn't too crazy about it still, but he accepted it and he didn't treat me any differently.

But through my college years and in the following years my relationships seemed to only last for one night. Then there was Paul, I had been in love before or thought I had been, but he was my first really serious boyfriend the first man I had really loved. Unfortunately, we argued a lot and split up more times than I could count on both hands and feet.

It was almost inevitable that we would split up.

Then ere was Edward, I would have gone to him with my problems but I could hardly talked to him now. I had lost my friend and man I loved.

Stubbing out my cigarette, I immediately lit another and took a deep swig of the vodka, chugging it down. Inhaling from the cigarette, still in my hand I glanced at the bottle of vodka in my other hand that I had gotten from the corner shop for just a few quid. There was a little left so after taking one last puff and stubbing out my twentieth cigarette, I knocked back the rest of the vodka in one go. Wincing and sighing as I put the bottle down, I then reached for the pack on the coffee table which I realised was empty.

Stumbling to the front door as I stuffed my keys and some cash into my pocket, I went downstairs clinging on the side railing as a few times I nearly fell over.

I made it to the end of the street before, I felt all of the contents of my stomach empty onto the street and then I collapsed, my world going black.

* * *

**A/N: so one of my longer chapters, but what do you guys think?**

**It was kinda back and forth with POV's but I really wanted to get a sense of where they both are at and sticking to one person didn't do that, hope it wasn't too confusion or anything.**

**Until next time.**


	7. Hanging On By A Moment

**Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own Twilight or any of the characters...but I do own a pair of awesome silver converse.**

**A/N: last update, I know but I have had some stuff on that I needed to take care of first. **

**End of excuse.**

* * *

**Chapter VII – Hanging On by a Moment**

**Edward POV**

The moment I got off the stage with a smile on my face I looked round, "Ja-" before the smile on my face faded when I realized who I was looking for. Taking a deep breath Tanya walked over to me and hugged me briefly, still gripping my shoulders when she leaned back a smile on her face.

"That's what I'm talking about! That was brilliant!" she let go off my shoulders and took a step, taking a proper look at me. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing" I shook my head, but the feeling from before was gone.

"Then why do you look like such a miserable git?" I shook my head.

"I'm tired, I guess"

"Right well then, go to the hotel and get a nap, a car will be round at nine to pick you up"

"What for?"

"There is a party that the band and you are expected at" I frowned. "Don't give me that look, fuck I preferred you when you were on stage. Now go change and slap on a smile when you go to the car and wave to all of your fans" I walked away not responding verbally, just rolling my eyes but she didn't see as she phone rang loudly and she walked off in the opposite direction.

Getting back to the changing room, I got out my phone fiddling with it again and managing to unlock the damn thing, I quickly dialled Jacob's number it kept ringing and ringing, eventually it went to voicemail. Something was wrong.

I didn't know what, but there was something wrong I could feel it in my gut, like a wrenching feeling that did not sit well with me. I hung up and tried calling him again, no answer, then again why would he answer my call?

I then dialled Leah's number, thankfully she answered after only a couple of rings.

"Who is this?"

"Leah, it's Edward"

"What do you want?" she all but growled down the line at me.

"Leah, when did you last talk to Jacob?"

"Yesterday" her answer was short and her anger towards me was hardly disguised at all.

"Can you do me a favour and call him"

"Why? Want me to butter him up for you?" I tensed, clenching my jaw for a moment and shaking my head, knowing she couldn't see me.

"No, I...have a feeling that something isn't right. So can you just call him, please?" I pleaded with her and her line was so quite I feared she had hung up on me until I heard her sigh.

"Fine, but I'm doing for him **not** for you" she then promptly hung up and I put down the phone, though as I changed I kept looking at it, picking it up whenever I heard the tiniest sound. But it was over an hour later when my phone actually rang, I was in my hotel room waiting for the car to come and take me to the party pacing by the window my cell phone clutched in my hand when it rang.

"Hello!" I answered the phone before it could even ring once.

"He's not answering, I've tried calling a five times now and nothing"

"Something is wrong"

"I know, I called his work but he hasn't been in for over a week. I don't know what to do, Edward"

"Thank you, Leah"

"That's what you have to say? What if there really is something wrong...listen to me, you have me worried now"

"I'm going to call the landlord, he can check in on him, I'll get back to you" I cut her off, hanging up and frantically dialling the number of the landlord. After a few rings I got an answer, the call connected as I paced quickly.

"Hello?"

"Steve, its Edward, where are you?"

"Mate I'm at the flats" I stopped pacing, running a hand though my hair and pulling at it slightly.

"Well, I need you to do me a favour" he must have heard the desperation in my voice.

"What is it?" he sounded concerned.

"I need you to check on Jake"

"What?"

"Please, just tell me if he's in the flat"

"What's all this about? I thought that you left" I heard jingle of keys and what I thought sounded like him walking up the stairs.

"Please, please just check" he sighed heavily and his steps continued.

"Alright, alright. Hold on okay?" I pressed my lips together, clenching my jaw and pinching the bridge of my nose as I remained standing by the window. I heard the sounds of a key into a lock, it twisting and then swinging open with a low creak. Then there was silence for a moment. "Jacob! Jacob?" steps into the apartment and no answer.

He walked round the apartment judging by his steps and called out his name a few more times.

"Steve, is he there?"

"He's not here, the place is a mess but he's not here"

"Are you sure?"

"Checked all of the room, nada..." his voice got quieter at the end, until it trailed off.

"What? What is it?"

"His wallet is here, on the table by the door. Odd" he paused. "Look Eddie, I need to go okay?"

"Yeah okay, thanks Steve"

"Yeah, yeah. You owe me one"

"Of course" he ended the call and I sat down leaning forwards in the armchair, one hand rubbing my left temple as I looked down at my phone still in my hand.

I thought about it, the feeling in my gut wasn't going away, if anything it was getting stronger and I couldn't sit here and do nothing.

* * *

**Jacob POV**

Bright lights. Fading in and out of consciousness, I saw bright lights then I drifted back into the darkness. I caught snatches of conversation in between.

"...heart rate is dropping!..."

I felt like I was on something moving, like a gurney, was I in a hospital?

There were heavy footfalls and shouts, I could also hear a beeping sound as something was attached to my arm.

"... is unresponsive..."

The bright light was getting dimmer, the voices were getting fuzzier and quieter like they were faded away.

"...we're losing him!..."

I felt cold. All over, I was cold and clammy. There were hands on my and a tube was pushed into my mouth.

Then the blackness swallowed me up.

* * *

**Edward POV**

"Hello?" opening the door to the apartment with the spare key Steve gave me I put down my bag and looked round. The place really was a mess, there were take away cartons stacked on the coffee table, various beer cans scattered everywhere along with a ashtray full of cigarette butts on the dining room table.

I went round the flat, the bedroom was a mess too. More beer cans, cigarette butt and clothes thrown everywhere. There was a hell of a mess but no Jacob. I went back to the front door where his wallet was, opening it and checking the contents I saw that everything was there; his driver's licence his American and British one, bank card, credit card everything was there but there wasn't any cash. The keys were gone too, either that or I couldn't them, not hard to believe with the current state of the flat.

Looking around again, I spotted his cell phone on the couch picking it up the light on the side flashed showing me the numerous missed calls and messages. Putting it back down I leaned against the back of the sofa and ran my hands through my hair and over my face, sighing loudly.

"Where are you Jacob?" I said out loud, dropping my hands from my face and crossing my arms.

Then my phone rang, piercing the eerie silence of the apartment.

"Hello?" I answered it quickly.

"What the fuck, Edward?" screeched Tanya down the phone, she was loud enough that I had to pull the phone away from my ear as she continued at a pitch verging on deafening. "I was waiting for you at the party, with good news and what do I get? The receptionist at the hotel telling me you checked out! Where the fuck are you?"

"I'm home" I replied calmly.

"Home? Are you shitting me? Are you really serious?" if possible her voice got even louder.

"Yes, I am"

"Are you coming back?" her voice lowered and sounded tense but mercifully she wasn't shouting anymore.

"I don't know, maybe not"

"Edward, I don't think you realise what this means for me. I signed you to the label, you can't just leave in the middle of a tour! There has been so much money put into you, into the advertising and everything else, you can't just walk away!"

"I can't do it! Okay! I just can't!" hanging up, I stuck my phone on silent and tucked it away as I started to pace.

Where was he? Without his phone or wallet, where could he have gotten to?

Getting my phone out again, I called the operator and got patched through to the nearest hospital. Waiting for someone to pick up on the other end, I paced the living room, running a hand through my hair roughly almost yanking at it as I waited for an answer.

"Hello?" I said when the call clicked, before the person on the other end of the line could say anything.

"Hello, London Bridge Hospital"

"Hello, I'm looking for Jacob Black?" there was silence apart from the bustle of people passing by and chatting, along with the rapid tapping on a computer keyboard.

"There is no one here by that name" I stopped pacing, staring at a random spot on the wall as I tugged on my hair a bit more.

"Are...are you sure?" more tapping. "Could you check again?"

"No. Are you sure you have the correct name... or hospital?"

"Yes!" I almost shouted at the receptionist, covering my eyes with one hand and shaking my head at I continued pacing. "No, oh I don't know!" I continued, frustrated at the receptionist, at myself and though I hated myself for it I was frustrated at Jacob for disappearing off the face of the earth.

"Well, I can't help you. Bu-" I killed the call and tried another hospital.

"He-"

"I'm looking for Jacob Black"

"Are you a family member?" I answered without hesitation, knowing it was the only way I would get any straight answers.

"He's my husband"

"Er...right, well" there was typing but after a few moment I got the same answer as before, no one was at the hospital with that name.

I tried several different hospitals, even the private hospitals in London, but it was all the same. I even attempted to call the police station, but for some reason I couldn't get through to an actual person instead of a machine.

I paced a lot, calling the hospitals up every couple of hours but getting nothing. Just as I was about to head out to, I don't know where the home phone rang, cutting through the silence of the apartment like a knife.

I went over to the phone and took the call, not looking at the number as I did.

"Hello?"

"Hello, is Jacob there?" the voice on the other end was distinctly Russian, belonging to Demetri.

"No, he isn't"

"Edward?" he asked incredulously, I took some satisfaction in that.

"Yes, why are you calling?"

"Jacob, hasn't been to work in nearly two weeks, I thought maybe I could call him. But he hasn't been answering his mobile"

"He isn't here"

"Where is he?" I was annoyed with how concerned he seemed to be for Jacob, I had little patience when it came to Demetri. Continuing to pace and tug at my hair, I shook my head before remembering he could not see me.

"I don't know, that is what I'm trying to figure out" I hung up before he could respond, pacing faster after putting the phone back not knowing what to do next.

* * *

**Jacob POV**

"Paul have you seen my car keys?" I sifted through the piles of papers and magazines on the coffee table, not seeing the car keys anywhere. Paul came out of the bathroom with his hair wet and only wearing a towel wrapped round his waist, he scowled at me a favourite expression of his recently.

"They are your fucking keys" I turned to the sofa, I was running so late and I was starting to panic.

"I'm gonna be late, where the hell are they?" he raised an eyebrow and shook his head, going into the bedroom without saying anything else. I finally found them in between two of the sofa cushions; smiling to myself I went to the door and grabbed my jacket pulling it over the suit I wore for work, the one I detested. "Babe, I'm going to be late what with running the training course" I went to the door of the bedroom , where he was pulling on his boxers with his back to me.

Getting a shirt out, he pulled it on as he turned round to face me doing up the buttons and nodding without any real interest. "Sure, I was going to go out with some guys from work, get a drink or two"

"Okay" I went in and kissed him on the cheek then turned away and left the apartment, getting into my car and getting to work twenty minutes later.

Sitting at my desk, Peter approached me smiling and I smiled back, I leaned forward as he handed me a file his hand touching mine for a little longer than was necessary. We both realised that and his smile turned flirty, moving his hand but leaning in I opened the file and scanned the first page.

"So are you free tonight?"

"Yeah, I'll be here till late" I motioned to the file, tapping the top of it and continuing to smile.

"So will I" he moved away slightly, in doing so I got a good view of his ass and judging by the look on his face he saw my gaze wander.

"How convenient" I replied, leaning back as he winked at me before walking away. I got on with my work, fucking bored out of my mind but looking forward to tonight.

After everyone else left, I headed to the copy room as the lights in the office went out. I didn't have to wait long until I felt Peter's arms snaking round my torso as he pressed a kiss to my shoulder.

"Hey" he said, before I turned round and attacked him pressing my lips to his and wasting no time divulging him of his suit jacket and tie, pushing him against the door roughly. He moaned and kissed me back as I gripped his hips and ground against him harshly, making me groan loudly into his mouth.

"Oh fuck" soon our trousers were round our ankles, as I had him braced against the wall as I pounded into him from behind, grabbing his hair and sucking on his pulse point hard enough to leave a mark.

"What the fuck?" the light came on as the door opened, but by this point I was too close to stop and as I saw Demetri my boss standing by the door I came hard, shouting out Peter's name then pulling out. "Jacob? Peter?"

After packing up my things, I took the box to my car not giving Peter another glance the entire time. Getting in the car, I drove away but I didn't want to go home just yet so I drove to Edward's knowing my friend would be there to talk to.

"Hi Jake, bit late isn't it?" I walked in before he asked, sitting down on his couch glancing at the television which was blank but the papers by his piano had been cleared, so I know I had probably interrupted his composing.

"Need a drink, and I don't like the idea of drinking alone" he just nodded and got a bottle of whiskey with two tumblers pouring out two neat measures and handing me one, then taking a small sip of his, I knocked mine back in one go and poured myself another sighing as I felt the warmth of the whiskey.

"So what happened?" he asked bluntly, raising an eyebrow at me as he took another sip whilst I took a big gulp.

"Where's Bella?"

"Alice's hen do" he said dismissively, shrugging and putting down his glass. "So what is it? Work or Paul? Or is it both?"

I drained my glass and put it down, leaning forward and putting my forearms on my knees as I let out another heavy sigh. "I got fired" I said bluntly, no point beating around the bush with Edward, he always knew when I wasn't being straight with him or hiding something.

"What?" he was probably expecting to hear that I quit, it was no secret that I hated my job but I wasn't really qualified for much else.

"Let's just say I got caught in a compromising position...with a colleague" both eyebrows raised he laughed, finishing his drink and pouring us both another very generous measure.

"I'm assuming this wasn't the first time?"

"No, it wasn't" I took a smaller sip and he sat closer. "I interrupted something didn't I?" he glanced to his piano then back at me, smiling as he shook his head.

"You didn't interrupt anything" I stood and went over to the small upright, he had gotten second hand six years ago when he moved into this house. I saw the music sheets that had been scrawled on, the pencil was laid on top and the piece was unfinished I could tell that much.

"Liar" I put my glass down and sat on the end of the piano bench. "Play it for me"

"It's not finished"

"So?" I remained by the piano and with a weary sigh he stood up and walked over to me, sitting next to me. He closed his eyes for a moment and breathed out slowly, he looked very graceful and...and beautiful.

Raising his hands, I watched as he started to play occasionally glancing to the sheets but picking his way through the piece with such easy grace. I was barely listening, I was more focused on watching him, the way he tilted his head and had his lips parted slightly and his eyes were half closed. God, he had stunning lips.

The end of the piece came all too soon, and when he finished he looked at me, eyebrows raised in a silent question.

"Beautiful" he gave me that gorgeous heart breaking crooked grin and I smiled back.

"It's not that good"

"I wasn't talking about the music" then I moved closer, he was so still until I brushed my lips against his. When I kissed him, to my surprise he kissed me back softly, I put my arms round him and pulled him close as we kissed each other harder, wanting more.

"Jake" he murmured, before I moved a hand down his back to rest on the top of his ass, making him jump. He broke the embrace and shoot up to his feet, half turning away from me and covering his face with his hands, standing very still.

"Ed-Edward?" he didn't respond at first, but slowly he put down his arms and turned his head round to look at me. I was still sat at the piano as he looked at me I stood, remaining by the piano as he didn't look pleased.

"Jacob, I'm married and you are with Paul"

"I live with him yeah, but we're not happy. We haven't been for a while"

"Well, I'm sorry, but I love Bella and you're my friend"

"Right" I went to the door, for some reason angry at his reaction. "Thanks for that"

"Jake!" I was out of the door and down the stairs, but I could hear him calling out to me. I didn't go back, although part of me wanted to. To go back and kiss him again and see if he had a problem then, shaking my head I got back outside and I paced for a while full of angry pent up energy.

Getting out my pack of cigarettes I lit one up and smoked as I paced by my car, then crushing the half smoked cigarette under my shoe I got inside the car and drove home.

I was partly aware of my driving being a little sloppy, the needle on the speedometer going past eighty easily, as I crossed a slow sign. I got back home in rec0rd time, lighting up again even though Paul couldn't stand me smoking, it took a couple of times before I could get the key in the lock scraping it before managing to open the door.

Shutting the door, I shrugged off my jacket and chucked it over the arm of the couch, massaging my temples as a half naked Paul walked into the living room.

"I thought you were working late"

"Yeah? Well, now I'm not is that alright with you?" I asked in a painfully condescending manner, going into the kitchen and getting out a bottle of vodka, taking a deep swig of it and then taking a deep puff off of my cigarette.

"Rough day?" he stood by the kitchen door, crossing his arms over his bare torso, strangely calm.

"You could say that"

"Are you going to have the whole bottle by yourself?"

"No, how come you're undressed?" he looked down as if just realising that he was half naked.

"I was about to have a shower" his usual scowl was not present, he wasn't angry but his forced joviality was too much and that was when it clicked.

"You had one this morning" Forgetting the vodka bottle, I stubbed out the cigarette in the ashtray I left on the top of the microwave and went past him and into the living room, Paul's eyes following me.

"Jacob?"

At the door there was an extra jacket that did not belong to me or to Paul.

"Where is he, Paul?"

"Jake, I-" ignoring him, I went to the bedroom walking inside and scanning the room. The bed sheets were rumpled and there where clothes scattered on the floor that had been half shoved under the bed, yet I could still see them. I went to the bathroom and it was empty, Paul trailed after me and at the bathroom door I spun round to face him.

"You could have tried a little better, Paul"

"Jake"

"He is probably in the study, unless you are a _total cliché_ and he's in the wardrobe or climbing out of the window" spinning around again I went to the door of the study, the only door in the apartment that was shut. Pushing it open, there he was an equally half naked man standing by the window, he was tall muscular and dark haired. "Hello" he looked confused at me lack of anger.

"H-Hello?"

"So sorry to have interrupted your...activities but would you dress and leave so me and my boyfriend can talk in private?" he nodded and walked past and into the bedroom to retrieve his clothes, walking out as he buttoned up his shirt, throwing Paul a glance as he left.

Paul shut the door as he left, then going to the sofa standing by the end of it as I sat in an armchair opposite the door. Looking at me with a confused expression, he took a seat on the sofa which just happened to be the seat farthest away from me and closest to the door.

"You seem strangely unconcerned about what just happened"

"We are such a cliché, it's almost funny" I continued like he hadn't spoken, he raised an eyebrow but stayed quiet. "How long have you been sleeping with that guy?"

"About five months" he said bluntly, thankfully cutting though all of the crap.

"Right, well in that case you should know that I have been also sleeping with someone else, a co worker"

"You have?" I nodded, he did look a little surprised but not overly so about my sudden revelation. "So..." he started after a silence between the two of us.

"So..."

"This...is it, isn't it?" I looked ahead, blankly staring at the wall as I nodded again.

"I guess it is" it was all strangely detached the way we said it, it was so matter of fact like we were talking about a business deal and not the end of our four year relationship. After all of that we were giving up pretty easily, yet I couldn't find it in me to care that much.

Taking a deep breath, I stood up and walked past him and opened the door. "I need some air" was the only explanation I gave before leaving and going out to my car, I seemed to be doing a lot of driving away today.

However this time when I got to the road, I started speeding up, I barely noticed at first until I realized how fast the scenery outside the window was whipping past me. Rolling my window and looking out as I slowed down, I didn't see the truck heading towards me.

Not until I collided head on with it. Then the blackness swallowed me up.

* * *

**Edward POV**

Nothing. I had been back in London two whole days and still nothing.

"You sure you called up all of them?"

"Yes Leah, I've called every hospital even the private ones every damn hour! His work haven't seen him in over two weeks I'm running out of ideas"

"Well, he's got to be somewhere!"

"Really helpful, remind me what is the postcode for _Somewhere_?" my sarcasm didn't go unnoticed by Leah, and she called me various names before growling at me to do something to find him and then hanging up.

Dropping the phone and leaning back, I ran my hands through my hair as I looked round the flat that I had cleaned till it was sparkling, whilst I waited to hear for Jacob and ignored any calls from Tanya.

"Jacob where the hell are you?" I said to myself, the apartment silent but my mind turning with all the horrid events that could have happened to Jacob.

* * *

**A/N: I know that was a bit of a filler and it may pose more questions and no answers, but I am getting to it, I promise there will be a bit more revealed in the next chapter. Plus Leah, will return in person!**

**Any suggestions on people who should make a reappearance? Bella, Carlisle, Paul? All and any thoughts are good.**

**Bye!**


	8. Every Night Is Another Story

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters.**

**Author's Note**

**So I know there is a bit of confusion regarding Jacob's point of view, it will be clarified and some of you guessed right, but anyway there will be more clarity on where Jacob is and what happened to him soon. Plus, Leah will make an appearance properly rather than a voice on the phone, after all someone needs to kick Edward's ass right? In addition there will be some others coming into this chapter both people we have and haven't seen before.**

**Final note before I let you get on with it, I have been going over the past chapters for this and My Dirty Little Secret (possibly my other stories too!) and I would like to edit and repost them, so there is a beta out there or anyone who would like to try their hand at it, I could use someone to help me re-edit the chapters, not only for grammatical mistakes ect but also bits that don't match up plot wise which I seem to do a lot!**

**Whew, end of that very long author's note, enjoy the latest chapter!**

* * *

**Chapter VIII ~ Every Night Is Another Story**

**Jacob POV**

"Daddy!" opening my arms I hugged my girls, looking up at Leah who inclined her head in a greeting but said nothing.

"Hello, Emma, Chloe. I missed you, both so much" I hugged them a little tighter, kissing them on foreheads and leaning back to smile at them, I glanced at Leah again. "Hey girls, why don't you go play on the swings and let me and your mom have a chat?" they ran off quickly, over the grass to the play area while me and Leah went and sat at a nearby bench.

"Leah..." I started.

"Stop fucking me around and sign the papers, Jacob" straight to the point like always.

"Can we talk first, before you cut me off from my kids?"

"We've talked enough, I'm sick of talking so just sign the fucking papers. We can have shared custody of the girls, once you find a decent place and not that death trap of an apartment you live in"

"That's it?"

"Yep" she looked away and sighed heavily, bringing her hand to her mouth and nibbling at the skin around her thumb nail, t only outward sign of her agitation. After a long silence she shook her head and turned her head to look back at me. "You are gay Jacob. You are gay and you married me and we had two beautiful daughters, for what to prove a point?"

"No, I love you" she snorted and glanced down at her lap then back towards the girls as they played around in the park. "I do"

"That's why you never told me until I found out myself"

"What was I supposed to say, Leah?"

"I don't know the truth, god you couldn't have told me before we got married or sometime in the five years before when we were friends?" it was my turn to avert my gaze, looking at the ground as I replied.

"I was confused Leah"

"So I was what, an experiment to see if you could act straight? Do you have any idea how that made me feel, what that put me through?" I shook my head, turning my body round to face her.

"No, I mean it Leah I do love you. I am so sorry I hurt you but I'm not sorry for being with you, because I would not change a thing if it meant we never had our girls" her expression softened a bit and she sighed heavily, looking back at me.

"Will you sign the papers?" her voice was softer and I just nodded.

**~X~X~X~**

For the first time since the divorce I was out, which felt so odd. I wasn't just out I was at a gay bar, which was a first for me, I was nervous so when I got to the bar I pretty much downed two beers pretty quickly.

"First time?"I turned around and a red headed guy around my age, was leaning against the bar, sipping a bottle of beer as he gave me a crooked grin.

"Am I that obvious?" his smile was gorgeous.

"Yeah, you look really nervous and a little lost" I took a gulp of my drink, trying to relax. The guy standing next to me ran a hand through his messy bronze coloured hair and then he leaned in a bit. "No one's gonna bite, unless you like that kind of thing" the smile turned into a smirk and I almost spat out my drink at his statement.

"I...I don't"

"I'm joking" he took another swig of his beer before holding out his hand to me. "Edward" I took his hand and gave him a nervous smile.

"Jacob" finishing my drink, I put down the empty glass on the top of the bar.

"Can I buy you another drink?"

"You're not trying to get me drunk so you can take advantage of me are you?" I joked.

"I don't need to get you drunk" he replied with the sexy smirk, brushing his arm against mine as he handed the bartender a note for another round of drinks.

"Really?"

"Really" he passed me the drink still smiling as lifted his own glass to his lips keeping his gaze on me. After finishing our drinks, Edward took my hand and led me away from the bar, I went along with him buzzing from the alcohol in my system.

Some dance track started to play and letting go of my hand he stood close as we began to dance, I was still feeling fairly nervous as I hadn't spent a lot of time in places like this. I had gotten married young, soon after college where I had been studying to be a lawyer, soon after Leah got pregnant so between school and my daughter I hardly had any time to myself.

Also, I couldn't dance.

"What's the matter?" he asked as I stood still instead of joining him in dancing.

"I'm not a very good dancer" he stopped and pressed his lips together, pausing for a moment before taking a step closer so that our bodies were almost touching, tilting his head and putting one of his hands on my shoulder.

"It's not very hard" I raised an eyebrow sceptically.

"I have two left feet" he chuckled at my comment and moved even closer to me.

"We are in a club, you don't need to be able to dance well" I didn't say anything, but he put his other hand on the side of my neck. "Relax, it's not rocket science" he leaned in closer so his lips were by my ear. "Just relax"

When he pulled back a bit, he was still very close to me and so impulsively I reached out a hand and pulled him back, kissing him full on the mouth. Though shocked at first he soon relaxed and kissed me back.

"That was unexpected"

"Better than dancing?" he smirked and nodded.

"Much better" he commented before kissing me again, roughly pulling me so that our bodies were flush against each other, oblivious to what was going on around us. Pulling away only slightly to breath, he kept his hands on me and pecked my cheek. "How about another drink"

"I think I'm fine right here"

"I meant at my place" I grinned right back at him.

"Sure"

"Great" I ran a hand through his hair, tugging slightly as I gave him another chaste kiss before he led me out of the club and down the road.

"We're walking?"

"I'm not that far from here" he squeezed my hand and we walked faster, the excitement building. When we got to his apartment, we could barely keep our hands off of each other and within only a few minutes of entering the flat the drinks were forgotten and we left a trail of clothes toward the bedroom.

Tugging off my boxers, Edward continued to smirk as he looked me over, pushing me down onto the king size bed that had satin sheets then trailing kisses down my chest that only made me squirm.

"Someone's a bit impatient" he murmured against my hip bone that he traced teasingly with his lips. I was thinking his of a smart retort that died on my lips the moment his hand drifted lower along with his mouth.

I fell back on the bed, only able to chant name over and over mingled with a few curses.

After a mind blowing orgasm, I returned the favour and then later, we were both breathing heavily as we reached our mutual climax, collapsing onto the bed our limbs tangled together in a sweaty mess.

"That was..." I fumbled for the right words as Edward wiped off the condom and chucked it in the bin with great aim, returning to wrap an arm around my shoulder and kiss me.

"Amazing?" he supplied with that sexy grin that I wanted to wipe off his face, so I did with another slow kiss.

"That's one word for it" he shifted slightly so he lay on his back, one arm still round my shoulder as I leaned my head against his chest.

Seeing as I had only recently met this guy, I felt oddly comfortable with him, even in this intimate position. Sighing I let my eyes close as I drifted to sleep, in that moment totally content right where I was.

* * *

**Edward POV**

Pacing as I held the phone to my ear, I pinched the bridge of my nose as I sighed heavily.

"I have tried everything; I don't know what to do!"

"Well, he isn't at the flat and he hasn't been seen by anyone at work so where could he be?" replied Leah angrily.

"I don't fucking know! If you know so much why don't you try looking for him!" my voice raised, I paced faster running a hand through my hair.

"Fuck you, why do you think this happened in the first place?" I stopped pacing but didn't answer. "That's right, nothing to say now eh? Well don't you worry, cause I'm on the first flight out there tomorrow"

"Great" I mumbled.

"By the way dipshit, did you try going to the hospital with his photo? If he didn't have his wallet with him, he might be unidentified" she didn't wait for an answer, she just hung up and as the line went dead I dropped the phone onto the couch and grabbed my jacket and keys leaving the flat.

I got to the rented car outside, pausing with my hand on the door then turning around and going back up to the flat, picking up Jacob's wallet which I had left on the table by the door, opening it and getting out his driver's license.

Glancing quickly at the picture on the card, I then tucked it away in my jacket pocket and left again making my way to the car quickly, driving much too fast when I pulled out of the parking space not that I cared if I got a speeding ticket, as long as I got to my destination without wasting any time.

Getting to London Bridge Hospital, I quickly parked and went to the reception almost running through the doors towards the desk.

"Hello, how can I-"

"I am looking for my friend, he didn't have any id on him so you may not know his name" she pushed up her glasses and squinted at the small picture for a few seconds before shaking her head.

"I haven't seen him"

"Are you sure?" I pressed.

"I am sure...but if you give few minutes I could check with the nurses who might have treated him" I nodded and she dialled a number whilst I took a seat, leaning back and drumming my fingers against my knee. Soon she put down the phone, standing and glancing over at me before hurrying off down a hallway towards the elevators.

I waited, albeit very impatiently, looking up every time someone walked past or I heard something. Over half an hour passed before the receptionist came back, looking dismayed when she was stood in front of me I rose and she handed me Jacob's id back with an apologetic look.

"I'm sorry, but he isn't here identified or otherwise" I nodded and tucked away the card, running my hands through my already very messy hair.

"Thank you for looking" I said before walking back to my car.

I tried other nearby hospitals all with nothing, at the end of the day there was still nothing, I didn't know where he was. There were only a couple more hospitals, so as it got near to eleven I got back in the car and headed to the next hospital, desperate to find out something about where he was and what had happened.

Getting to the front desk and showing the receptionist the id photo, she went off and I waited, again. However this time she returned only ten minutes later, looking worried I stopped pacing and waited for her to speak.

"One of the nurses recognises him...he is here" I breathed out a sigh of relief but the receptionist still looked anxious, I sensed there was more to it.

"What happened to him?" I pushed, needing an answer.

"I shouldn't really be talking to anyone but his family"

"I'm his partner" I said immediately, not quite lying but feeling even more worried. She hesitated for a moment looking at me and either she could tell how out of my mind with worry I was or she knew something else.

"He was brought in a few nights ago, after collapsing" she went to the desk and motioned for me to follow, getting to the computer she typed in something rapidly and then looked up. "He is the Intensive Care Unit"

"What?"

"He's is in a coma, I can't tell you more than that you'll have to talk to his doctor" I gripped the edge of the desk tightly, anxious to see him.

"Can I see him?" her eyes flickered towards the clock and she sadly shook her head.

"Visiting hours are from eight am to eight pm, I'm sorry but you will have to come back tomorrow"

"Tomorrow! That is ridiculous, can't I just see him for five minutes?" she shook her head.

"I am really sorry but I can't let you do that. You will have to come back _tomorrow_" sighing angrily I tugged at my hair and then left, getting into the car and slamming my hands on the wheel angrily before starting the engine and driving away, glancing at the building in my rear view mirror.

**~X~X~X~**

"I'll pick you up when you land"

"Okay. Are you there?"

"I just got here" I was sitting in my car, staring at the door to the building, internally debating if I should even go in. Would he even want me there?

"Let me guess, you are sitting in the car just looking at the building"

"No"

"Liar, don't be such a pussy. He is alone in there, even if he isn't awake he needs someone there" I sighed heavily and shook my head.

"I don't think he wants me there"

"Oh just get in there Cullen. Put aside your petty insecurities and be there if you care enough for him"

"I do care"

"Yeah, I can tell. Clearly that's why you left" I could hear her contempt for me, to say I wasn't her favourite person was a bit of an understatement. "Go on, until we get there unfortunately you are all he has, so go on!" she hung up and I swore at the phone before getting out and walking in.

I got the room number from the receptionist, the same woman from the previous night who gave me a sympathetic smile as I made my way to the lifts.

When I got to the right floor, I soon found the right room, standing outside and staring at the door I reached out my hand stopping inches away from the handle, again debating whether to go in or not. Closing my eyes I remember the look on Jacob's face before I left and then I opened my eyes and opened the door, my eyes falling onto Jacob who was rigged up to various machines and a drip.

Seeing him so drained of colour and lying so deathly still, scared the life out of me. Swallowing around a lump in my throat, I slowly set one foot in front of the other and went to the side of his bed. I pressed my lips together and clenched my jaw as I took in the sight of him, close up.

Remaining on my feet, I reached out and brushed his hair off of his forehead, tilting my head and gazing at his face, the circles under his eyes and the general haggard look he had.

I wonder if he could hear me.

* * *

**Jacob POV**

I woke up to the sound of the radio from another room, I saw the room I was in was not my own crappy apartment but a fairly well decorated one. Everything looked very expensive and way out my price range, finding my clothes folded neatly on a nearby chair, I got out of the massive bed and pulled them on buttoning up the shirt as I walked out of the bedroom towards the direction of the radio.

I entered an open living room and kitchen, which was just as well furnished with a top of the line flat screen LCD TV and various other high-tech gadgets in the kitchen too.

"Good morning" Edward greeted as I walked in, pouring out coffee into two mugs.

"Morning" I replied, going over to him and accepting a cup of coffee and sitting on one of the stools, whilst looking round his place, feeling a little intimidated by his obvious wealth.

"I have rich parents" he said, seeing the way I looked round.

"So you're a trust fund baby?" he smiled as I took a sip of coffee, not in the least bit offended.

"Uh...yeah, pretty much" he scratched the back of his neck, his hair messy and a part of it falling in front of his bright green eyes.

"It's cool, so what do you do all day? Play video games open your insanely large telly?" he chuckled and pushed his hair off of his face.

"No, I'm a doctor" I raised my eyebrows.

"Oh"

"It's the chosen profession for Cullen's" he said with not a lot of enthusiasm, taking a large gulp from his mug and walking round the kitchen island. He smiled and sat next to me, swivelling the stool round to face me as he leaned an elbow on top of the counter.

"You don't sound too enthusiastic about that?" he sighed and the smile slipped a bit, he ducked his head and run a hand through his hair so my view of his face was partially obscured for a moment.

"Well, I never really wanted to be a doctor"

"So why did you become one?" he thought about it for a moment.

"Cause it was expected of me, my father expected me to follow in his footsteps, like he did" there was a silence and he gave me a sideways glance.

"What?" I asked as he gave me a curious look.

"I never told anyone that" I grinned at him and he smiled back.

"So tell me more"

"Like what?" I sighed.

"Everything" we talked for hours, he told me about playing music he always wanted to pursue a career as a musician but he was discouraged by his father who said it was a 'silly dream'.

I told him about my crappy sales job and how I only got the job because it was the only job I could get when I found out about Leah being pregnant.

"Hey, why don't you play me something?"

"Really?" his cheeks went an adorable shade of red.

"Yeah, go on" I encouraged, with a shy grin he nodded and went to the bedroom coming back with a guitar that looked old and not as expensive or flash as everything else in his apartment. With another flush of embarrassment, he bent his head so his hair fell forward and partially covered his eyes and started to strum slowly, then so softly at first he started to sing.

_I'll be your man_

_Ill understand_

_And do my best to take good care of you_

His voice rose higher, gaining a bit more confidence as he continued to play and sing. There was something about the song that I recognised I think I had heard the song before.

_Derry down green_

_Colours my dream_

_A dream that's daily coming true_

_When day is through_

_I will come to you_

_And tell you of your many charms_

For some reason the half remembered memory of the song he played stirred a feeling of sadness? It was strange and by the time he finished, I felt so depressed that I thought I might start to cry.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine" I smiled and he put down the guitar, leaning forward and putting his hands on my knees. "I recognised the song, who is it by?"

"Van Morrison, it's one of my favourite songs"

"It was really good"

"You think?"

"Definitely, I'd buy your album" I leaned forward, close enough to kiss him but I didn't I just smiled at him.

"You're just saying that" he leaned his forehead against mine.

"No I'm not, you are really good" then I kissed him, he kissed me back his lips curving into a smile.

"What was that for?"

"I have a thing for cute guitarists?" he smiled and kissed me again.

"Maybe I should take it up more" he mumbled against my lips which made me smile, when we pulled away he glanced down at his watch. "How about some lunch?"

"Sounds good" he hopped up and walked over to his fridge, me trailing after him. I leaned against the counter as he peeked inside the massive silver fridge.

"Well...I have eggs and a few peppers...so an omelette?" he looked up and I nodded.

As he cooked, we continued to chat, talking about our families his brother and parents, my father and sisters back in the small town I grew up in. Even as we eat we kept talking, the conversation flowing so easily that it was like we had known each other for ages rather than just having met the previous night.

"I should go, I have work in the morning" it was approaching half four already.

"Oh okay" he stood up when I did, taking our plates to the dishwasher then turning round and walking back to me.

"This was really nice, Edward" I meant it. He nodded and we walked to the door.

"Maybe we could do it again sometime, dinner or coffee or something?"

"Are you asking me out?"

"Yes" he smiled shyly.

"I'd like that, why don't I give you my number?" exchanging numbers and he opened the door standing close to me with a smile as he moved forward and gave me an all too brief kiss.

"See you later"

"Definitely" I left with a smile on my face, realising shortly after as I left the building that I was short on cash and would need to get a cab back home.

Crossing over the road to a gas station with an atm, walking inside and going to the machine, I stuck in my card and was just about to enter in my pin when a large bald headed guy entered walked over and pressed a gun to my back.

"Try and run and I'll shot. Try and fight and I'll sh0ot. Do anything apart from what I tell you and I'll shot. Do you understand?" swallowing round the lump in my throat and glancing over to the till the guy there was standing with his back to us as he flicked through a magazine, even if he turned the bald guy's body was blocking his view of the gun pressed into my back.

"I understand"

"Withdraw all of the money in your account" I heard the click of the safety going off as he pushed it into my back harder.

"Jacob?" I heard the voice of Edward, but I couldn't see him. "Jacob?"

"Now!" demanded the man harshly and with shaking hands I entered my pin.

* * *

**Edward POV**

"Jacob?" I sat in the chair by the bed, perched on the edge of it with one hand on the bed, next to his. Strapped up to the various machines and in the hospital dressing gown he looked so vulnerable and I was scared to reach out and take his hand. So I settled for laying my hand on bed next to his and stroking it gently with my index finger.

"I don't know if you can hear me or if you are even aware of me here, in fact if you did know I don't think you'd really want me here" there was no response not that I expected one, but I kept talking. "Even if you can't hear me I just want to tell you that you were right, you always were about me. Sometimes I think you know me better than I do" I laughed briefly at that.

I paused sighing and feeling my eyes prickle slightly, looking up for a moment and blinking a bit I lowered my eyes back to Jacob

"Being on stage was amazing, it really was, but I always found myself looking out for you. I didn't know why I did it at first...because for a second I forgot about what happened and then when it sunk in...that you weren't there and you wouldn't be...I had to smile and continue." I pulled my chair closer and played my hand over his. "I should have come back. I never should have left. Like usual I was a stupid prick and I-I never deserved you" I as barely aware of the wetness on my cheeks or the way I sniffed loudly every few seconds.

"But...please. Open your eyes, please, please just wake up. I'm so sorry, so sorry for everything" his eyes remained closed and he didn't move at all, pressing my lips together more tears falling down my face as I dropped my head onto the side of the bed, keeping my hand on his.

**~X~X~X~**

When Leah arrived at the airport, I was there to pick her up, she was with Jacob's family; his father William 'Billy' Black and older sisters, twins Rachel and Rebecca. I had met his family a few times, over the holidays the first time being in our last year at college when my parents went away on a second honeymoon. He had invited me back to his home town for Christmas which I had been hesitant about, but his father and sisters had been more than welcoming.

The way they greeted me that first tome years ago could not be more different than this meeting today, I wasn't aware of how much they knew about Jacob and me but their cold greeting and lack of conversation from the airport to the hotel, told me that they knew enough. As they settled into their rooms, Leah and I went to the hotel restaurant ordering coffee, a double shot of espresso in my case.

Seeing the way I knocked back my drink as she sipped her filter coffee, she raised an eyebrow at me.

"Have you gotten any sleep Edward?"

"Sure I have" she shook her head and frowned, putting down her mug and crossing her arms, clearly she knew I was lying.

"So how long are you back?" she asked changing the subject and avoiding the main topic.

"What do you mean?" she rolled her eyes and leaned back in her chair slightly as I ran my hands though my hair.

"When are you going to go back on tour?"

"I'm not" she looked surprised and nodded.

"Really?"

"I can't leave, not after seeing him in...that place" she nodded again this time her expression softening a bit as she leaned forwards.

"So what are you going to do?"

"Honestly I don't know, but I'm not leaving not again" she gave me a small smile before taking another sip of her coffee. "What?"

"You are actually doing the right thing this time"

"I don't know about that, I doubt he will want anything to do with me when he wakes up"

"True, but at least you're not being the jackass we all know and hate" it sounded harsh but for Leah that was practically a really big compliment.

"Thank you?" she waved her hand dismissively.

"Don't get mushy on me Cullen, though a step in the right direction you a long way to go to ever make any of this right with him"

"I know that" I lowered my head and she sighed heavily, putting down her mug.

"But" I looked up. "You should know that he loves you, god knows why but he does" she lowered her chin to give a look. "That's why he did what he did, so if you really love him then there is hope for you yet"

Shortly after we were joined by Billy, Rachel and Rebecca and we made our way to the hospital. As soon as we got to his room, Billy wheeled himself to his side whilst his sisters stood on the other side of the bed, Leah standing near to the door by me as they crowded round Jacob's bed.

Then the nurse walked in to check on Jacob, giving a sympathetic smile to his family.

"I'm sorry but he's only allowed three visitors at a time"

"Why don't I go?" I suggested as Rachel glanced away from the nurse to shoot me a look which she caught. "Leave you with Jake, you can call me when you want a lift back to the hotel?"

"We can get a cab thank you" he replied gruffly.

"It's no trouble"

"We are fine" interjected Rebecca, Leah took a step closer to me and frowned.

"Well, I'll go too maybe go to the flat and get a few things for Jacob?" she looked at me for the last part.

"Sure" I said and Billy and the twins nodded absently, focusing their attention back to Jacob, Billy taking one of his son's hands, Rachel taking a seat and Rebecca pulling up another nearby chair next to her sister.

We were silent the entire car ride to the apartment, I had since left the apartment and gone to a nearby bed and breakfast, not feeling right staying in the apartment considering the circumstances. However I did keep the key, coming round to check in and feed Charlie, who was at the moment in his bed, looking depressed, Leah went to the bedroom to get some clothes packed and I stayed in the living room with Charlie.

It was like he knew what was going on with his favorite human, and even when I threw his squeaky toy in his direction he simply looked at it as it landed beside him, then whimpered and turned his head away.

As she did that I looked round the apartment was cleaner now, having thrown away all of the take away containers and empty cans and bottles that had been scattered everywhere. Looking down at the mat I picked up the stack of letters, seeing that a few were junk mail and a couple had my name on them.

Flicking through the letters I saw a few of them were from the water and electricity companies, they were warning letters and looking to the door, I could still hear Leah rustling abut so I opened the first letter and my eyes widened. Along with these bills there was a letter about his car insurance that was way overdue.

"Edward?" called out Leah from the bedroom. Looking up I stuffed the letters in my pocket and went to the bedroom door.

"What's up?"

"I have some clothes and underwear, but what am I forgetting?"

"A toothbrush?" she nodded and walked past me to get it.

"Of course" retrieving the toothbrush and returning to the bedroom she zipped up the bag, looking up at me. "How about we drop this off and get some food? I'm starving, airline food is shit and hospitals anywhere in the world have crappy food"

"Okay" Getting to the door, she stopped and I took a couple of steps forward before realising. "What is it?"

"I forgot the toothpaste!" she face palmed and turned around. "I'll just be a minute"

"I'll wait for you in the car" I tossed her the keys and left, getting to my rental car and chucking the bills into the glove box compartment, then locking it before Leah came back down.

"Alright let's go"

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**Right, I know the alternate universe thing is getting a little long winded by now so I promise sometime soon something else will happen and they do mean something and will affect Jacob later on.**

**Someone was up for bringing back Carlisle, as a sort of reunion after the end of My Dirty Little Secret, do you think they should mend fences and should him and Esme still separate? Along with that should Edward go back to the States with or without Jacob? I have a n idea of where Jacob and Edward are going to go from here but I would still appreciate any feedback, good or bad (within reason!)**

**Bye for now!**


	9. Some Roads Lead Nowhere

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters.**

**Author's Note:**

**Sorry for another late update, crazy shit going on, anyway here it is!**

**I will say no more apart from this, I have sneaked in a couple of quotes from one of my favourite TV shows, I wonder if anyone can guess it for a sneak peak of the next chapter?**

**Have fun.**

* * *

**Chapter IX – Some Roads Lead Nowhere**

**Jacob POV**

"Sorry Jacob, I would if I could. But money it tight without paying for a pair plane tickets" sighing I took a step back the phone cord stretching, so I could peek round the door into the living room where my dad was watching TV.

"I know, it's just that Rachel can't come either. Its dad's birthday, what am I supposed to do? I asked the elders but I know he would appreciate it more if you and Rachel could be here"

"I feel really bad, but we can always Skype?" shaking my head I lifted my other hand and rubbed one of my temples and leaned against the wall.

"Sure, I guess"

"I have to go Jake, talk to you later"

"Bye Becca" we hung up and I put the phone back in its cradle, picking up the mug by my side on the counter and walking into the living room. "Here you go, dad" handing him the mug, he smiled and accepted it as I remained standing.

"Thank you"

"Right, Sue will be round at..." I glanced at my watch. "Half one, she made your favourite and then I'll be back after work"

"Jacob, I know" he replied, looking up at me. "You don't need to smother me"

"Well, you are getting old" I joked and gave him a small smile.

"I still have my own teeth and my mind, so don't be marking my grave just yet boy"

"Alright then, I get it. See you later, dad" nodded and I left the house, getting in my car and driving into town and getting to the garage only fifteen minutes later, parking outside.

"Hey Jake" greeted Mike when I walked in, I nodded in response grabbing my jumpsuit and pulling it on.

"Hi"

"Right well, Mrs Webster is picking up her car in...half an hour and I just got a call from a breakdown. I you check on the Webster's car and I'll do the pickup"

"Sure"

Finished with the car by the time it was picked up, I was changing the oil of another car, when Mike arrived back at the garage. A silver Volvo hooked onto the back of the pickup truck, leading a man inside I glanced up, wiping my hands and then closing the hood of the car.

Picking up a form and clipboard, Mike handed it to the man, he started to fill it out, messy red brown hair falling across his forehead and partially covering his eyes,

As he filled out the form, Mike's phone rang loudly and he excused himself to take the call outside. I remained silent, the only sound being that of the radio along with the scratches of pen across paper. Mike walked back in a few minutes later, looking less than happy.

"Jacob?" I glance up and raised an eyebrow as he made his way over to me. "I need to go to the Outfitter's as something's come up. Would you take care of the customer and close up if I'm not back by then?"

"Okay" I shrugged, with no social life to speak of except for looking after my father, it wasn't as if I had other obligations to fulfil. So, Mike left and I took the form from the red haired man.

"I'm Jacob" introduced, giving him a polite smile.

"Edward" he supplied and with an incline of his head gestured to his car, as I went round and opened the hood to have a look. "So, what's the damage?"

Poking around, I soon found the problem and leaning back I told him what was wrong with his car.

"How long will it take to fix?" I straightened up and turned my head in his direction.

"A day or two at the most, I'll need to get some parts but it is a fairly straightforward task" he sighed and ran a hand through his hair, making it messier and stand up a bit at the back.

"I'm meant to be in Seattle this afternoon"

"Sorry. Not a lot I can do about that" he nodded and pressed his lips together.

"Can't be helped I guess" he shrugged. "So is a there a place I can stay and maybe get a decent lunch?"

"There's a placed just down the road you stay at and a cafe across the road from here" he nodded again. "If you do go to the cafe, just don't order the 'Special', honestly don't"

"That bad?"

"The only thing 'special' about it is the amount of salt and grease they use" he chuckled, it was a nice sounding laugh and he was quite good looking as well...

I cut off that thought, swallowing around the lump in my throat and pushing away all thoughts of this man's gorgeous smile.

"I'll keep that in mind" mutely nodding I dropped his gaze, focusing back on the car.

"I'll get started and let you know when it's done"

"Sure" he nodded and ran his hand through his hair once more as he took a step back, giving me a small smile before walking out and leaving me alone.

Finding my mind wandering, I went to the radio and turned it up loud enough that I could barely hear myself think, before going back to the car. Coming up to half one, I stopped for my lunch break, crossing the road to the cafe for my lunch as usual, grabbing my wallet and keys on the way as I shut the door.

I sat down at a table in the back corner of the cafe, a table slightly set apart from the other tables, so I didn't have to hear the chatter of other customers and so on.

"Hello Jacob"

"Hello Mrs Drummond" she smiled at me warmly.

"The usual, dear?" I nodded and she took the menu from me, before turning away and walking back to the kitchen, as she did I saw Edward. He was sat a few tables away nearer to the door, sipping from a mug as he read a thick book generally oblivious to his surroundings.

Seeing how intense his concentration was, I looked at him properly this time ignoring the voice in my head telling me to keep my head down and mind my own business.

His hair was a strange colour, not red as I had initially thought or strictly speaking ginger but more of an odd bronze colour that was the only way to describe it. What I hadn't realised before was that he was incredibly well dressed, a lot of his clothes sporting designer labels.

What caught my attention though were the black reading glasses he wore. They were halfway down his nose and occasionally he would push them up with his index finger, when they slid down, all the while looking very serious as his lips were pressed into a hard line.

When my coffee and food came, I dropped my eyes from Edward quickly, glancing down as I ate not looking up until I finished and went to go pay. At this point I passed Edward, who chose this moment to look up as I glanced over at him.

He nodded at me in acknowledgement and I returned the gesture then quickly turned away and dashed out and went back to the garage. Turning the radio back on I let the music blast out, get to work and not hearing the knock on the door half an hour later or even realise someone else was in the garage until he spoke.

"Think the music's loud enough?"

"Fucking hell" I shouted as I jumped back. "You nearly gave me a heart attack!"

"I did knock" he said, trying not to laugh at me.

"Alright" I replied with a shake of my head as I turned back to the Volvo.

"Not very talkative are you?"

"No" was my short answer, looking under the hood and trying to continue with my work which was becoming increasingly harder to do with his presence.

"There's not a lot to do here is there?"

"It's a small town"

"I see that" we fell silent and he walked away from me towards the radio and turned it down and looking up, he was unfazed as he walked back and leaned against the side of his car. This way my view of him was obstructed by the hood so I could only see his legs from the knee down as he casually stretched them out, crossing them at the ankles. "Seeing as I 'm stuck here for a while, do you mind if I hang out here? I was getting odd looks back at the cafe"

"Sure, sure" I said, trying to sound indifferent but probably sounding more strained than anything else. We fell silent again as I continued and he got out his book, opening the passenger side door and sliding inside, leaving the door open. Now between the small gap where the hood opened, when I leaned forward I could see the bottom of his face, mostly his lips and a bit of his nose.

He continued to read, utterly unaware of how I stared at his lips, my mind starting to wander again. With a shake of my head, I looked away from him or I wouldn't get any work done.

"How long have you lived here?" looking up, I saw that he had put the book down and was leaning back in his seat so I could see I bit more of his face.

"All my life"

"Really?" nodding I straightened up and turned to the tool box beside me "I'm from a big city and I can't imagine living in such a small town" shrugging and going back to the Volvo, he got out of the car to walk around stopping a few paces to my left.

"I guess...I never really intended to stay here all my life"

"Then why did you?" I never meant to tell him that, I never told anyone that not even my sisters, not that it would have made a difference they left the moment they got the chance.

"My father needed me..." I turned to look at the stranger I was telling all of this to. "He was in an accident a few years ago" I had just applied to college when I found out, I was ready to leave.

"That must have been tough" nodding mutely I turned my head away. "So why was it that I was getting such weird looks?" he asked, changing the subject.

"You're fresh meat"

"What?" he spluttered and widened his eyes, I smiled and held back the urge to laugh at him.

"The people here like to gossip, so new folk in town are irresistible new gossip, they are trying to figure you out and see if you have any scandals they can amuse themselves with" he raised his eyebrows and I shrugged. "Give it a few hours and there will be some daft rumour going around town"

"Sounds like high school"

"High school never ends" I could tell he recognised the reference by the half chuckle he let out. He went back to reading but now he wheeled over a nearby chair, sitting nearby, humming along to the radio, albeit terribly out of tune.

"Bloody hell is there a cat dying somewhere?" he stopped and raised an eyebrow as I smirked at him.

"So I'm a little out of tune" he defended.

"If you say so" was my sarcastic remark, which earned me another chuckle and gorgeous smile.

"Good thing I never took up music as a profession" he joked.

"At least the world was spared from that" I found myself laughing at my own joke and he did too.

"Yes" he said once we stopped laughing closing his book which I now realised was a textbook. "I'll just be a tone deaf doctor, instead"

"You're a doctor?" he shook his head and stood up.

"No, I'm studying to be a doctor; I'm in my first year of med school"

"Cool" I said and he just shrugged. "Not your dream job I take it?"

"Not exactly" he paused.

"Then why do it?" he looked stumped by my question for a moment.

"It was expected of me"

"Do you always do what's expected of you?" he glanced down for a moment and then back up at me.

"Yeah, I do" we gazed at each other for and he moved a bit closer, putting one hand on the side of the car near to my hand.

But just then Mike walked in and he immediately jumped back, as he turned away from me I could have swore I saw his cheeks go a bit red.

"Hey Jacob, sorry about bailing earlier" he nodded as a greeting at Edward who in return did the same. "But it's all sorted now" he continued talking to me. "I'll be in the office if you need me"

"Sure" he left and we were both quiet, this time there was a fair bit of tension between us which made the silence awkward to say the least.

"So..." he said loudly breaking the silence. "I think I'll leave you to it"

"Okay" with that he left and I threw myself back into my work, trying and failing to get him out of my mind, the way he pushed his hair off of his forehead and pushed his glasses up, replaying in my mind along with the other little habits I had observed.

* * *

**Edward POV**

Stopping at the door, I looked in and saw Billy holding Jacob's hand and Rachel was flicking through a magazine, however every few minutes her eyes went to her brother, even though he laid still and unresponsive on the bed.

Taking a few steps back I was about to leave when I saw Rebecca, she was walking towards me, well to the room, stopping a few feet away from me.

"Edward?"

"Hi...I'm sorry, I was just going to...er...you know what, never mind. I'll erm...just leave" I stammered like an idiot, not wanting to interfere but wanting to see Jacob.

"You don't have to go" her comment caught me by surprise, she gave a sympathetic look before giving my shoulder a pat.

"No, I should go" she nodded and then dropped her hand.

"Well why don't you come back later this evening? If you back towards the end of visiting hours then you can have a moment with him"

"Thank you" she nodded and gave me a brief sad smile, then she walked around me and inside the room, then I left the hospital.

I felt so aimless, I wanted to do something for Jacob or his family it felt like I was imposing, and it was clear they wanted nothing to do with me. So going back to the hotel, I put the television on although I was uninterested in anything that was on, it just made the room appear not to be as lonely as it was.

Remembering the overdue bills from the flat, I got them out and read them properly, my eyes widening when I read the numbers at the bottom of each bill.

Shaking my head I looked once more at the bills and spread them out on the table getting out my phone and calling up the electricity company first. Putting my phone down and about to go and have a shower, it rang loudly.

"Hello?"

"Hello, am I speaking to Edward Cullen?"

"Yes"

"I am Jonathan Sanders, calling on behalf of King Records" Oh. Fucking. Hell."Our company is suing you for violating your contract"

"What?"

"By backing out of the tour when you did, you violated the contract you signed with us"

"I didn't know that!" he breathed out in a way that suggested he was weary or that he disapproved of my interruption.

"It was all outlined in the contract, Mr Cullen. Anyway, due to the contract infringement there were also various amenities and costs incurred that have to be accounted for and as you left the company have the right to ask for the costs to recuperated another way"

"Well, how much am I exactly being sued for?" after a short pause, Jonathan Sanders told me the figure they wanted from me. "You've got to be fucking kidding me!" I almost shouted at the ridiculousness of it all.

"Mr Cullen, there are various costs involving advertising, equipment, studio time and such that need to be covered due to this...issue. So I assure you, I am perfectly serious. You will receive a formal letter soon, this call was merely a formality"

"Okay th-" the line went dead as I was cut off. Pulling the phone away from my ear, I stared at the screen in disbelief. "That is fan-fucking-tastic, cheers for that Mr Sanders"

Dropping into an armchair, I started to dial the number of my lawyer, praying for some sort of good news or at the very least something that didn't make me want to pull out all of my hair in frustration.

However it seemed I had a lot of bad karma or whatever, because after hanging up I covered my face with my hands and slumped my shoulders. It seemed that I was fucked when it came to this lawsuit.

How the hell was I supposed to come up with the money?

* * *

**Jacob POV**

"So how is it?" I looked up to see Edward walking in.

"Good, it's not as bad as I thought, I think that maybe I can have it done by the end of the day"

"Great, that's great, I can get to Seattle soon then"

"Yeah..." he took a few steps closer, his hands shoved into his jean pockets the glasses I had thought about absent. "If you don't mind me asking...what's in Seattle?"

"I'm meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time"

"Really...that sounds...fun?" he laughed, breaking a bit of tension.

"Not quite, her dad is a Police Officer"

"Nice"

"Not even, he's not just an officer he is the Chief"

"Oh" he nodded, still smiling.

"Yeah so if he doesn't approve of me, he could always chuck me in jail"

"Or shoot you"

"Cheers" he said sarcastically. "I hadn't thought about that one" we laughed and he took a few more steps closer, so he was almost stood right next to me.

We went quiet but we kept looking at each other intently, his gaze drifting lower as his smile slowly faded. I straightened up and wiped my hands, going over to the mug on the nearby worktop and having the last mouthful of tepid coffee, putting down the mug and turning round to face Edward.

"I think it time for my break, fancy grabbing some lunch at the cafe?"

"Sounds good" with a nod and brief smile, he ran a hand through his hair and after taking off my overalls we headed over the road, this time sitting opposite each other at a table far away from my dark corner.

We talked for ages, laughing and smiling at each other it was when our food and drinks came that we realised we had been leaning into each other as we talked, our hands remaining on the table but inching closer so our fingers were almost touching. I saw the way the tip of his ears and cheeks reddened slightly as he leaned back, clearing his throat and glancing down much to my dismay.

We kept talking though we were both wary of getting so close, especially in the cafe where most of the residents seem to pass through.

"Oh shit. I should be getting back to work" nodded he refused to let me pay, getting out a black credit card when our bill arrived.

"Shiny" I commented and he smiled and handed over the card.

"I guess, I'm just a spoilt kid"

"That's one way of looking at it" we left and walked across the road and back to the garage. "I thought only the seriously rich kids get cards like that?" he looked down, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

"I am rich"

"How rich?"

"I'm a Cullen" getting inside, my mouth dropped at the mention of the name that most people knew.

"Like the charity and pharmaceutical company?" he simply nodded. "Fuck" I looked away from him and at the Volvo that was nearly fixed. "Then, you paid money for this...? On purpose?" the car was clearly second hand and though looked after not in great condition.

"Yes, I did. There's nothing wrong with it" I raised my eyebrows and lifted my hands looking around pointedly.

"Then I guess you don't need my help" I had been about to pick up a tool and he shook his head emphatically.

"Okay, so it's a little old. But I've had this car since I first learnt to drive" I snorted earning myself a glare which I ignored.

"Sure, sure. It's your heap-a junk, though if I was as minted as you, I would have an Aston Martin Vanquish" I sighed. "That's a beauty"

"I'll keep that in mind if I ever need a new car"

"You do that Richie Rich" he smiled at my comment and it was then that I realised we were standing quite close again, only this time we were alone in the garage not out in public.

He was looking at me intently and again his gaze drifted lower to my lips and his jaw clenched a bit, I so wanted to reach out and touch him. Just put my hand on his cheek and kiss him, even if it was brief. Fuck I wanted to kiss him.

"Jacob" he said, his voice low and husky as he didn't move away, but put his hand on my arm.

The moment he touched my arm the desire to kiss him increased tenfold, and I grabbed him and kissed him. Hard at first then when he didn't pull away but instead kissed me back, I softened and slowed the kiss, just savouring the stolen moment with this bronze haired stranger.

He let out a wanton moan into my mouth, I was too far gone to turn back now, so I instead I moved my hand to his head tugging gently at his messy hair as his hands roamed my body.

* * *

**Edward POV**

"Hi Edward" I nodded at Leah and walked in the room, slowly walking over to the chair opposite Leah.

"How is he?"

"Stable, but still unresponsive they don't know when he'll pull through" I nodded and glanced down at the bed, Jacob's hand near the edge of the bed, I wanted to take his hand and feel him squeeze back, open his eyes and tell me to fuck off or something. I would settle for something small like the squeeze of the hand, anything just to know he was alright or that he would be alright.

"What's the point of them, if they can't tell us is he'll wake up?" I half muttered to myself, but by the inclination of her head she heard me.

"There isn't anything they can do now, it's up to Jacob now. He will be alright" she sounded a little like she was trying to convince herself of that, I could tell by the circles under her eyes she had gotten as much sleep as I had. Sniffing and turning her head away, she stood up and looked to the door.

"Do you want some coffee?"

"No thanks" I had already had about four cups of coffee after barely a couple of hours sleep, I was wired on caffeine and anxiousness, I couldn't relax and more coffee would not help. She nodded and left the room, leaving me alone with Jacob.

As the door swung shut, I took one of his hands in one of my own, fiddling with the chain around my neck with the other.

"Jacob?" I pressed a soft kiss to the back of his hand, my lips lingering for a while as a solitary tear fell down my cheek. "I love you. I love you and for totally selfish reasons I want, no I need you to wake up" I ignored the tears that fell down my cheeks. "I'm such an asshole and even if you wake up never want to see me again, though it would kill me, I would do it so long as you were okay"

There was no response and I let a sob escape my chest.

"Just know that I love you, okay? I should have told you more, I should have told you every day"

"Edward?" came a voice from the door, letting go of his hand I wiped my cheeks and turned around to see Rachel walking inside with Leah. I stood up abruptly, casting a quick glance back at Jacob before looking to Rachel and Leah.

"Sorry, I er...I should go"

"Edward" said Leah, I shook my head when I got to the door and I saw how her gaze dropped to the chain and the ring at the end. I was about to say something else when Rachel gasped loudly, we both whipped our heads round as he went to her brother.

"Jacob!" he was stirring, his eyes slowly opening his lips parting as he muttered something. None of us made it out at first, then he repeated it slightly louder this time.

"Edward" I swallowed hard, my joints feeling like they had locked in place.

When his eyes opened fully, he saw his sister who smiled at him looking as if she might cry, Leah went over to him and took a cup filling it with water and pressing it to his lips. We were all silent as he drank, Rachel taking one of his hands and squeezing it as if to make sure he was really there and when Leah pulled the cup away he looked to her and gave her weak smile.

She got out her phone immediately, then excusing herself to call Billy and Rebecca.

"Hey" he croaked. "Who died?" he said in response to worried look she wore, his joke only made her look like she was closer to tears.

"Jake" was all she said, he put his other hand over hers and gave her a weak smile.

"It's okay, is Rebecca an-" the words died on his lips when he turned his head and saw me by the door, he went a little pale. Just about to say something, Leah walked back in, she walked past me and to the bed.

"Rebecca and Billy are already here, they'll be up in a minute" Rachel nodded and turned back to Jacob.

"Oh my gosh, Jacob. You have no idea how worried we were, dad and Becca are going to be so relived" she hugged him and he weakly patted her shoulder, smiling at her when she pulled back a bit.

"How long...?" Leah sat down and took his hand, as I edged closer to the door.

"A little over a week, I should probably get a doctor"

"I will, you can stay" I piped up as Leah was about to rise, Jacob's eyes snapped back to me just before I slipped out the room.

Walking down the corridor, I took a few steps down the corridor and taking a left to the nurse's station stopping the moment I turned the corner. Letting out a big sigh I took a step back so I was leaning against the wall, closing my eyes for a moment I took a few breath before wiping my eyes again and continuing to walk on.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**So he awakes!**

**Any thoughts on what might happen next with our boys?**

**I would also love to know which of Jacob's alternate universes your favourite was, my personal favourite was the last one.**

**Thanks for reading and yet again sorry for the long wait!**


	10. I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters.**

**Author's Note:**

**So Jacob awakes! In this chapter he gets out of hospital and goes back to the flat, to a few surprises along with a very persistent Leah, staying with him.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter X – I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning**

**Jacob POV**

"He should go to some meetings or see someone. If he hadn't been brought in when he was, I doubt he would have recovered so well, if at all. We'll keep him in for one more night, for observation but after that I see no reason to keep him here any longer" my sisters nodded and my father looked down a frown tugging down the corners of his mouth.

"Thank you doctor" responded Rachel, when he left she walked away from the door and came over to hospital bed, I closed my eyes pretending to be asleep when she put a hand on the edge of the bed.

It wasn't that I didn't want to talk to them, but every few minutes they asked if I was okay or if I needed anything. They fussed over me, making me feel like a kid, however if I feigned sleep for the most part, they left me alone. In a sneaky way, it also allowed me to overhear some of the worries that they would not voice in front of me when conscious.

"He won't go for counselling" said Rebecca.

"But he needs it, this never should have happened" replied Rachel, pacing as her voice drifted with her footsteps.

"We know why it happened though" came the voice of my father, gruff with disapproval.

"That's not fair dad, no on forced Jacob to do anything" said Rachel oddly defensive.

"But it _is_ because of him, _isn't_ it? He never should have gotten involved with that boy" his voice was angry and my ears strained when he mentioned 'that boy'.

"He's been here dad, are you forgetting who found him?" this confused me...found me? What did they mean by that?

"Rachel-" began my other sister, when there was a knock on the door.

"Hi Leah"

"Hello, any news?" Rebecca filled her in as she came over and sat by my side. Just as my sister stopped talking Leah's phone buzzed, opening my eyes slightly, I saw her get out her phone and view a message. Her look of confusion softened as she typed out a quick response and turned to her dad.

"Will you stay with him for a while?" I heard no reply, so I assumed he responded non verbally. "He should go for counselling"

"Just because he should, doesn't mean he will"

"I guess he won't"

**~X~X~X~**

"You ready to go?" running a hand through my hair, I nodded at Rebecca and trailed after her, joining my dad and Rachel outside of my room. The journey back to my flat was a quiet one, mercifully it was also a short one, so we didn't have to suffer in silence for too long.

Getting to the flat Leah was already there when we let ourselves in. She was getting a glass of water when we got in, I looked round and noticed the apartment was clean. In fact it was pretty much spotless, Rachel took my bag to the bedroom as I looked towards Leah, with a raised eyebrow.

"What? This place was a shithole before, honestly it was disgusting Jake" sighing I sat on the sofa, picking up the TV remote control and flicking from the news channel she had been watching. Looking around I noticed that the stack of bills had by the front door wasn't there, turning my head to glance back at Leah, she was talking to my dad and didn't look back at me.

After lunch with my family, they left the apartment with promises to come back tomorrow. When they left I let out a sigh, getting a look from Leah which I ignored as I went to the kitchen. I would have poured myself a vodka or whiskey, but there wasn't any in the cabinet.

"What are you looking for, Jake?" looking up at her, I slowly closed the door and straightened up, shaking my head.

"Nothing..." I glanced around. "Do you want a cup of tea?"

"No thanks" she turned around and went back into the living room.

Going back in, I sat next to her and drank my tea as she turned around to face me. "So how long are you going to stay in London?"

"When I know you are okay"

"How will you determine that? After all, I am a bit of a head case" she didn't laugh but shook her head.

"I'm going to stay with you"

"Here?" she nodded and I put down my mug.

"You scared the shit out of all of us Jacob. So until I am a hundred percent certain you will be okay, I am not going anywhere" she set her jaw stubbornly and I could see she would not yield on this, I inwardly groaned.

"What about your work...and Jared?" at this point I was grasping at straws.

"I can Skype him and I have a lot of unused vacation days" she shrugged and that was the end of that conversation, one sided as it was.

"Okay then" she nodded and gave me a small smile, taking my hand and giving it a light squeeze.

"I _will_ deny this if you ever tell anyone, but even when your halfway across the world and _hardly_ call me, I like you too much to lose you. So I swear...don't _fucking_ _ever_ do that again!" resisting the urge to chuckle at her, I hugged Leah instead. Hugging me back tightly, she was silent even as we pulled away.

"I'm sorry Leah" she sniffed her eyes watering a bit, though she lowered her head to hide her face.

"You _shouldn't_ be sorry, it shouldn't have happened in the first place. Jacob, you _need_ to go to counselling" she looked up at me and I shifted in my seat turning my body away from her and picking up my mug, lifting it and stopping.

"For what? To talk to a bunch of strangers, about my private life?..._no_ thank you" shaking my head, I then took a small sip of my drink. "I am _fine_"

"You are _fine_?" her voice raised, veering into being very high pitched and she looked at me incredulously. "You have _just_ come out of the hospital, after getting _alcohol_ poisoning which led to you going into a _fucking_ coma. So tell how the hell is that _fine_?"

"I didn't do it on purpose"

"No, but you nearly drank yourself to _death_" came her response, her voice almost breaking at the end. Standing up I went over to the window, taking out a pack of cigarettes from my pocket and lighting one as she stood up.

"I'm here, _aren't_ I?"

"If you hadn't been taken to hospital, you _wouldn't_ be here now" I inhaled deeply and she threw up her hands. "_That_ is what your doctor said!"

"But I _am_ here, _alive_! So _let_ me live my _damn_ _life_!"

"You need help, when will you see that?" I took another puff, blowing the smoke out of the window, wound up too tightly for the nicotine to help. "When you need a new liver or when we are picking out your tombstone?"

Stubbing out t half smoked cigarette I walked away from Leah and to the door, grabbing my keys and jacket.

"Jacob!" I ignored her and walked out.

* * *

**Edward POV**

"So I am pretty much screwed, right?" my lawyer, pushed up his glasses as he scanned the last line of the official letter from the record label.

"It's not good, Edward" he put down the letter and pressed his hands together as he frowned. "It was drawn out, extensively in the contract that you were handed and didn't read"

"I know, I know. There isn't anything you can do?" pressing his lips together, Jenks glanced at the letter and the copy of the contract he had been sent, pondering my current dilemma.

"I'll have to look into it a bit more, see what I can do about it" nodding I leaned back with a deep sigh at my sheer stupidity that was only landing me deeper in trouble, I then stood up and looked to the door of his office.

"Thank you Jenks" he nodded and he stood up too, so we could shake hands.

"Bye Edward, I will let you know the moment I find anything" running a hand through my hair in frustration, I nodded.

"I appreciate that"

I left his office, getting to my car as my phone started to ring, opening the car door and sliding in after pulling out my phone, I shut the door and took the call though I didn't recognise the number.

"Hello?"

"Edward? It's Jacob, can we talk?"

**~X~X~X~**

Somewhere in my mind I knew this was a bad idea, for one I was waiting in a bar for my alcoholic ex fiancé, with my luck I would fuck this up yet again.

"Edward" I turned around too quickly when I heard his voice, spilling my beer all over my arm and lap.

"Ah, shit!" he smirked and handed me a napkin, I took it and started to dab hopelessly at the beer stain.

"That's never gonna come out" he said as he sat down in the booth, opposite me. I noticed that he looked better, but that was probably because he was no longer wearing a hospital dressing gown or hooked up to many machines.

"Yeah, I know" I replied, abandoning the fruitless attempt and looking back at Jacob. "So...um, what did you want to talk about?"

"You, you found me, right?" I scratched the back of my neck looking down at the table for a moment.

"Well, you were in hospital when I came back, but you didn't have any ID on you"

"So how did you know where I was?" I looked up at him and dropped my hand, speaking in a low voice.

"I went round the hospitals till I found you"

"That probably wasn't easy" I shrugged, looking down at my hands.

"I just wanted to know if you were okay" he nodded and ordered a drink, putting his hands on top of the table and drumming his fingertips as he waited and we fell into silence.

"Well, thank you...I guess" I looked up and nodded, not quite knowing what to say to him. When did it become so complicated just to have a conversation with Jacob, I was second guessing everything I was doing and saying to him for fear that I would say or do something to push him away and that was the last thing I wanted.

"I'm just..." he looked up and I paused for a moment, as I looked back at him. "...glad that you are okay" I said instead of what I had been thinking.

"So did you finish the tour?" he asked, I could tell he was trying to sound casual as the waitress brought over his beer, which I didn't think was a good idea but it wasn't my place to say anything.

"No, I left early to come back"

"Why?"

"For you" I said without hesitation and I watched as he took this in, nodding slowly and taking a deep gulp of his beer.

"Edward I"

"Jacob" we spoke at the same time and both stopped looking away for a moment. "You go first" I said, when we looked back at each other. He rubbed the side of his neck before taking a shallow breath.

"I don't know how to act around you..." _you and me both._ "To be honest, I didn't think you would come back and here you are" he gestured to me and shrugged. "I think it's pretty obvious from the state I was in that I wasn't coping so well"

"Neither was I. I missed you so much" I blurted out and he pursed his lips, maybe I should have kept quiet.

"You still left" his voice was quiet and hurt, it killed me to see how much I had hurt him.

"I thought about you all the time" then I took out the chain I wore and showed it to him, the ring he gave me sliding down so it was in plain view. His hand twitched as if he was about to reach out for it, but stopped himself.

"You looked pretty happy on stage"

"You saw it?" he didn't say anything but looked down and took another sip, answering my question with his silence. "Did you ever see what I did at the start?" he kept quiet and I continued. "I looked out to the crowd...stupid as it was, I was always expecting to see you there"

"Why?"

"Because, it was brilliant being on stage, it was like a sort of adrenaline rush..." my phone rang, sighing and closing my eyes as he leaned back at the sound, I took it out and glanced at the screen it was Jenks. "I'm sorry, but I have to take this...I'll be quick"

Answering the call I stood up and walked out to the little backdoor garden where some tables where set up, but none were occupied as it was pretty cold and early in the day.

"Hello?"

"Hello Edward, I have got some bad news I'm afraid" I deflated a bit, my shoulders slumping I lifted a hand to the bridge of my nose.

"What is it?"

"I've looked over the contract that the letter several times, as have a couple of my colleagues but it seems that their case is tight, there isn't an inch of wiggle room with the case"

"Well, what does that mean?"

"We can't win this and there is no way to get them to budge on the figure"

"So what options do we have?"

"You can sort it quickly and settle it out of court, or they drag it out and take you to court and it gets widely publicised, jeopardising any future career in the music industry" I shook my head in frustration and ran a hand through my hair.

"Shit, I don't have that kind of money and I can't go to court!" I was starting to get very panicked.

"Well, either you need to raise the money somehow or get ready to go to court. I'm sorry Edward, there aren't any other options here"

"Thanks for trying, bye" I hung up and sighed deeply, shaking my head again before heading back inside towards our table. But the table was empty, the bottle of beer Jacob had been drinking was empty and a few notes were on the table Jacob was gone. "Great. Just effing great!"

* * *

**Jacob POV**

"Where the hell have you been!" I rolled my eyes and hung up jacket, so not in the mood for this right now.

"I went to a club and got _really_ drunk and _then_ I did meth with a cute bartender-slash-stripper" I gave her a humourless smile and went to the kitchen getting a ready meal out and popping it in the microwave, lighting up a cigarette as I waited.

"Jacob!"

"Leah, you are not my mother, so kindly back off"

"You have been drinking" she accused, clearly ignoring what I just said.

I took a deep puff, nodding at her. "I had a few drinks" I shrugged as the microwave beeped at me, taking out my meal I went into the living room and sat down on the sofa, flicking the television on and turning it up as Leah came back in and started talking.

"Jacob" then my phone started ringing, getting it out she stopped talking as I glanced at the screen and saw Edward's name pop up on the screen. Ignoring the call, I put it down and she looked at the phone in confusion. "Are you going to get that?" she asked as it continued to vibrate, I shook my head and glanced away for a moment, taking another deep drag.

"It's not important"

"There's an AA meeting tomorrow" I sighed heavily but she went on, as if she had completely forgotten what I had said to her earlier. "It's at one so I hope you'll be there" I finished the cigarette and stubbed it out, eating and continuing to channel hop. "I think that it's better if I stay at the hotel instead of with you"

"Okay" her phone rang and she took the call. "Hello?...Yes, I'll be down in a minute" she ended the call and walked round so she was in my line of sight as I settled on a random music channel playing some rap song with the guy from Maroon 5. "So I'm going to stay at the hotel. I will be here at half twelve in a cab to go to the meeting"

"I'm not going"

"I'll be here if you change your mind anyway" she gave me a small wave and left, shutting the front door behind her.

My phone buzzed again and I ignored it, continuing to eat, lighting up another cigarette when I was finished as I contemplated going out to get a few beers. Standing up and going back to the kitchen I saw the letter by the door, it was official and had the Aston Martin stamp on the front.

Picking it up with one hand as I took the cigarette out of my mouth, I flipped it over and opened the letter, sliding out the letter with the Aston Martin letter head. Scanning the letter quickly, I got an overwhelming sense of déjà vu only this time it was good news at all. Ripping up the letter and chucking it in the bin, before stubbing out the cigarette I grabbed my wallet and keys, tugging on my jacket and then opening the door to reveal Edward, his hand was raised I assumed he had been about to knock.

"Going for a late night stroll?"

"What do you want, Edward?" I barked, having no patience for my ex at the moment.

"Well, you left rather abruptly so I wanted to see if you were alright" I shook my head.

"Course, I'm not fucking alright!" he looked a bit startled, but I ploughed on anyway. "I've just come out of hospital after landing myself in a coma, I am now jobless and have no savings and now my ex fiancé who left turns up like nothing happened! Geez, ask a more pointless question Ed!"

"Sorry, I just wanted to see how you were" his tone was defensive as he leaned back and set his jaw.

"Yeah well after swaning off to the States, you can't just come back and act as if you never left! You have no damn right" _you have no damn right to look at me like that, with your gorgeous eyes and lips that I have missed and want to kiss very much_. No, I kept that train of thought to myself.

"Jacob, I was wrong to leave. I should have stayed"

"Yeah, well it sounded like you had a great time without me on tour" I didn't mean to sound so much like a sulking child, but I did.

"Is that what you think?" he said incredulously, running a hand through his hair.

"That _is_ what you said earlier" he looked around, for he was still stood outside the flat.

"Can I come in?" for a brief moment I considered saying no and shutting the door in his face, but I knew I would do that. Damn him and his fucking gorgeous eyes! Frowning and opening the door wider, I let him in tugging off my jacket when he walked inside.

He shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans as he took only a few steps inside, before turning on his heel to face me, looking very uncomfortable.

"So if that's not the case what is?"

"When I was performing it _was_ great...no wait" I had half turned away and he reached out a hand then thought against it and stuffed his hand back into his pocket. "Every time I didn't see you I was disappointed, no more than that I was...heartbroken" _join the club_. "When I got off stage I kept expecting to see you. I kept hoping you'd come round the corner and hug me and tell me you loved me"

I didn't know what to say. I could tell him there wasn't a single day, a single moment where I didn't think about him and there wasn't a moment that it didn't hurt to think about him either. It hurt so much that I wanted to numb that pain even if just for a few hours.

That I loved him but also blamed him for what happened when he was gone.

But I couldn't say any of that because he wasn't staying.

"I love you, Jacob"

"You left" I said my voice sounding broken. He frowned deeply and took a step forward, I could smell the familiar smell of his cologne, the same scent that had clung to the apartment even after he had gone. For days the pillows and even a couple of my shirts smelt of that musky scent. I clenched my fists determined not to just fall right back into his arms.

"And I will regret that decision for a long time because none of it was worth losing you" I swallowed round the lump in my throat and shook my head, not looking at him. "Jacob"

"That's not fair"

"Jake, I-"

"No! I don't want to hear that you love me or that you thought about me, because the bottom line is that you could have stayed or come back sooner not because you felt guilty"

"I don-" I shook my head again, looking up and realising with a start just how close he was.

"I can't do this anymore. I can't" he reached out his hand and I froze. "I can't" my voice broke again the moment he touched my shoulder.

"I'm sorry"

"Edward, I don't want to hear it" I shrugged off his hand.

"Won't you at least let me try to explain?" he sounded irritated and it angered me, taking a step back I shook my head.

"I don't have to listen to any of your shit"

"That's not fair" he complained.

"Life's not fair" I snapped.

"Jacob" he was really started to get on my nerves now, gritting my teeth I clenched my hands into fists by my sides.

"Can you just leave!"

"You are so damn stubborn" right that was it. I promptly punched him in the jaw, throwing all of the dirty names I could think of at him as he recoiled in pain, a hand shooting up to the side of his jaw. "Fuck!"

"Get the fuck out of my flat!" I growled at him. He straightened up, but instead of leaving he tackled me, taking me by surprise we fell to the floor, Edward on top of me. "Edward, get off!"

"No!" he said stubbornly, gritting his jaw and then wincing. So in defiance, when he grabbed me by the shoulders and tried to stop me from wriggling away I moved with my hips, which due to his grip on me flipped us over so I was now on top.

However he then hooked a leg round mine and I fell onto my back again.

"You mother fucker, let go" I punched him in the ribs and as he gasped, I pushed him back and straddled him, smirking as he stopped struggling. "Right, do I have to give you a black eye?" he grunted his agreement and I got off him. With a sigh I held out my hand to help him up, he touched his side gingerly and tried to hide his wince though I still saw it and felt a little bad for hitting him. "Sorry about that" he shook him head.

"No, I deserved it. I keep fucking this up don't I?" he gave me a humourless smile "I meant what I said though, I want you to know that"

His shoulders slumped and my heart broke at the sight. "Edward" he raised his eyebrows and ran a hand though his hair and making it stand up at the front, sighing as he did so.

Then we were kissing, I was sure who kissed who first but I wasn't pulling away. In fact I bit his bottom lip quite roughly before pushing him against the door, he moaned into my mouth partly in pain but the moan turned into one of pleasure when I tugged on his hair lightly. Another indicator was the way he pressed his body against mine when I pushed his against the wall and continued to roughly kiss him.

There was nothing gentle or sweet about it, we were animalistic as we grunted and tore off each other's clothing. But it was downright sexy the way he moaned my name, the way they got louder even when I was rougher and more dominant than I had ever been with him or anyone else.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**Sorry to leave it there but I will pick up right where I left in the next chapter, this doesn't mean they are back together now, it does however mean more drama. After all the path of true love never did run smooth.**

**Until next time, I hope you had a great Christmas and a Happy New Year, see all of you in 2013 my pets, Adios!**


	11. An Attempt to Tip the Scales

**Author's Note:**

**So I know neither of our boys are in the right here, but neither Of them are perfect they each have their baggage and issues, what they have in common is that they lack communication skills.**

**Although I love this pairing, it would be too cliche or predictable if they were to just fall into each others arm's and ride off into the sunset. Additionally, real life is messy and other things tend to get in the way and I want to convey that in my writing.**

**Originally, I was only going to write four or five chapter's for this sequel but there is so much more to expand on before Edward and Jacob get their ending. Plus I wanted to expand on my frankly shoddy writing in MDLS.**

**I hope I haven't put any of you off with this bit of a rant. In fact thanks for reading, especially those of you who have stuck with me from the begining. I love you all and to sound totally sappy, your reviews are like warm hugs on a cold winter's day.**

**So here it is the next instalment and the lemon I promised you, enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter Eleven - An Attempt to Tip the Scales**

**Edward POV**

It felt like it had been ages since I had felt Jacob's lips on my own, so I was almost hungry and needy in the way that I kissed him back. My teeth scraped against his lips and I gripped his shoulders so tight, I probably left bruises. Neither of us cared though, soon we were panting hard kissing and touching each other like we would never see other again.

"Jake" I moaned as his hands drifted down my back to undo the buttons on my jeans, he kissed me hard growling and pushing them down. I was aching all over for him, I needed him and I knew it was the same for him judging by the way he quickly got rid of our clothes and pulled me towards the sofa.

His lips barely left mine for a moment, he pushed me back so I lay on my back as he straddled me. I could feel every inch of his body pressed against mine but I wanted more, so I lifted my hips grinding them into his and creating some much needed friction.

"Ah, fuck" he moaned, his head falling against my shoulder. Moving my hand lower, I gripped him and myself slowly moving my hand up and down causing Jacob to moan louder and nip at the side of my neck, his moans only slightly muffled.

I was very close and so was Jacob as the sounds he was making got much louder, his lips found mine again. "Stop" he said against my lips. "I need to be inside of you" I just nodded and stopped, running my hands up his chest to grip his hair and pull him in for another kiss.

We went to the bedroom and lay down on the bed or rather fell back onto it, our lips barely breaking apart, I gasped into his mouth as one of his hands massaged my balls before he liberally coated a finger in lube. My head fell back as his finger teased my puckered hole, my eyes fluttering closed until he pushed in the digit which had me gripping his shoulders and swearing loudly, somewhat uncomfortable at first.

Working the single finger in and out, he added another and going deeper he curled his fingers and stroked that sweet spot.

"Oh Jake!" he smiled into the side of my neck as the thrusts of his hand got faster, stroking that spot every time. I clung onto him just as hard as he gripped my hips, lining himself up with my prepared entrance before entering me in one swift movement.

"Ah god, that feels so good Edward" he stilled for a moment, letting me adjust before he started to move his hips slowly. He didn't keep that pace for long though, his thrusts became faster and harder, with each thrust he managed to angle his hips so that he kept stroking my prostate with his dick.

We shouted each others names loudly, one of my hands fisting the sheets the other was tangled in Jacob's hair, keeping his lips on mine.

"I'm s-so close" he rasped out, reaching between us to jerk me off, his movements were a little clumsy and we were now covered in a sheen of sweat but I was close myself.

"Jake" I moaned out, needing just a little more to go over the edge. So I kissed him again and as he closed his eyes, I flipped us over smling into the kiss as he made a sound of surprise.

Now I was straddling him, pulling my mouth away I sat up and he put his hands on my hips. I ground down on him, my hands on his chest I heard his deep growl as he grabbed my ass, parting my cheeks slightly and lifting his hips up to mine in quick movement. I got the message and with a smirk at him, I started to move up and down quickly, our beathing getting quicker and shallower and our movements more and more sparodic.

"Jacob!"

"Edward!"

When we had come down from our mutual climax, we were left feeling awkward as our rapidly cooling spunk created a new problem. Jacob pulled away first, sitting up and turning away before standing and getting the two towels hung on the back of the door, handing one to me and turning away.

As the tension hung between us, I cleaned myself off and sat up too, with both of our backs to each other. i cursed myself, though I had missed him and had loved his touch after what felt like months I knew it was a mistake. He probably did too, if his tense silence was anything to go by.

We dressed in silence, our backs to each other as we did so. After a while we slowly turned around, neither one of wanting to break the awkward silence first.

"Edw-"

"Ja-" we spoke at the same time and stopped, I guestured for him to go first.

"Edward, this wasn't appropriate. It was too soon"

"Shall I go?" he looked conflicted and for a moment I thought he would say no, but then he gave me the briefest of nods and my shoulders dropped.

"I'm sorry, I got carried away"

"I wasn't exactly complaining Jake" he almost blushed at my comment, he looked down rubbing the back of his neck as we walked back into the living room.

As we did I noticed the AA phamplet on the coffee table, I raised my eyebrows and looked back to Jacob who had seen where my gaze landed.

"Your going to a meeting, that's good" his expression turned snarly as he stomped round to the table and picked up the phamplet, screwing it up in his hands and chucking it accross the room so it landed in the bin next to the bookshelf.

"I'm not going"

"Why the hell not?" he shook his head angrily and I walked round the couch to face him properly.

"Because I don't need it! I'm f-" I held up a hand to stop him.

"If you value my sanity you will not say you are fine. Beacuse that's a lie, you were in a coma Jake! How you possibly think that you're okay after that?"

"That was an accident"

"It still happened and I, we could have lose you don't you get that? I know I am the last person you are likely to listen to but don't you owe it to yourself to go? To go before something else happens?" he shook his head and grit his teeth, clenching his fists as well.

"You should leave Edward"

"Will you hit me again?" his fists unclenched a fraction and his gaze lowered to where he had punched me in the face, his glare softened a tiny bit too.

"I didn't, I shouldn't have done that...sorry about that" I sighed and shook my head.

"It's okay, my bruises will fade but I saw your family Jake. The minute they saw you in that hospital bed, it broke them. I know I have no right to tell you what to do, but don't be selfish. If nothing else you might want to think of what would happen to them, if you drank yourself into another coma or worse" he frowned and the anger seemed to be gone, for now.

Now, it was time for me to go. "Bye Jake"

"Edward" I stopped when I turned away, turning my head round. "There was a stack of letter's by the door, but everything's been cleaned so do you know where they are?"

"They were probably taken care of or disposed, I guess" I shrugged and this time he didn't stop me from leaving.

**~X~X~X~**

Getting to the hotel, I was about to walk in when I got a call. Pulling out my phone I saw Emmett's name flash on my screen, I hit the answer button and put the phone to my ear.

"To what do I owe the pleasure Emmett?" I entered the hotel and went to the elevators.

"Hey Ed, so how is the whole lawsuit coming along?" I sighed and crosed my arms.

"Not good, it looks like I'm screwed if I can't get this money" he went silent then. "Emmett what are you not telling me?"

"Er...well...you see...dad knows" he blurted out and I made a sound of disappointment.

"Really? What the fuck Emmett?" I got to my room and shut the door behind me, going to sit in the chair by the desk.

"Sorry bro, he didn't find out through me. Apprantly he has some connections in London who told him about the case, well you see this call was a warning"

"A warning?" at that point there was a knock on my door and I stood up. "What do you mean?" I opened the door.

"Dad's in London" his warning was now quite redundant.

"Cheers for the warning, Emmett but I'm going to have to call you back later"

"What is it?"

"Our father is standing right in front of me" I said trying to sound casual, before hanging up on my brother.

"Hello Edward" he said in greeting, he was impeecably well dressed as usual and his expression and voice gave nothing away. So naturaly I didn't trust him at all.

"Hello Father" we stood there for a few moment, mentally sizing up this situation I had seen him or heard from him in months and then he just pops up in London, there was some sort of agenda.

"Can I come in?" he raised an eyebrow and waited for my response.

**~X~X~X~**

Sat downstairs in the hotel bar, we each had a glass of wine in front of us which we had ordered and since then barely touched. I sat up in my chair, deeply aware of my bad posture and slightly rumpled clothes that not too long ago, had been strewn across the apartment floor.

I was completley unprepared to see my father and I felt like a kid who had rolled around in the mud whilst wearing his sunday best. We had not spoken at all since I left for London to be with Jacob and I wondered at all if he knew about my failed relationship with the man he so vocally disapproved of.

"Edward" he broke the awkward silence first after taking a smll sip from his glass and then putting it down. "I heard about your recent court case"

"Emmett told me you knew, thank you for the warning by the way. It was nice to hear that after nearly eight months you saw fit to just drop in on me" my voice was brittle and a tad too sarcastic, his eyebrows scrunched together in disapproval a look I knew all too well.

"That isn't quite fair, you did move all the way to London. Although, I hear that you are no longer seeing Jacob?" he raised an eyebrow, that answered my earlier question of course he knew.

"I am not 'seeing' him currently" though I did see a lot of him recently...oh, shut up! "Father as much as I am enjoying this rather stimulating chat, I am sure you didn't travel nine hours on a plane, just to ask me about my ex fiance and court case" I secretly enjoyed how the vein in his head tensed when I mentioned Jacob as my ex fiance.

"You are right, I didn't come here for small talk" waiting for him to elaborate, he paused to take another sip of his drink, taking his tie and probably getting a kick out of agitating me by being so slow to get to the point. "It is about the court case, I was told you are being sued"

"Yes" I said tersely, crosing my arms and resisting the urge to roll my eyes at him or walk away from him.

"I want to help you" he said finally getting to the point. I scoffed at his statement, shaking my head and leaning forwards as uncrossed my arms.

"I've already had my lawyer look at the papers, its pretty solid I can't get out of this one"

"You had a cheap law school drop out look at it, let me have my lawyer look at it" there it was; condsencion with a side order of ego, just what I ordered. What he was really saying was: 'I have an a small army of expensive lawyers at my disposal, let me make you feel like you owe me'.

"No matter how much you pay your lawyer I'm screwed"

"I'll take care of it and if all else fails, we can settle out of court and keep the press out of our business"

"Our business?" I replied incredulously.

"Edward" he started and I felt like I was about to either be lectured or fed a load of bullshit. "You are a Cullen" Whether I wanted to be one or not, it seems. "We may have had our differences and I may not agree with some of your life choices, but you are still a Cullen. A lot of people know our name and our family, so I have a certain duty to protect that image...to protect you" so it was a bit of a lecture on my mistakes, bad choices along with a little bit of bullshitting for good measure then.

"That was a nice little speech father, but I have things to do today" I stood and shook my head slowly. "Sorry you wasted your time coming here"

"Edward" he said as I was about to turn around and walk away. As much as I wanted to storm off like a stroppy child, I couldn't so I looked back at him and raised an eyebrow. "Edward, I know that I have not been in your life recently however I must admit I was very shocked by your admission" clenching my jaw, I remained standing.

"It wasn't easy for me either"

"I know, I'm still trying to understand" with a deep sigh, I sat back down taking a gulp of my wine and then crossing my arms.

* * *

**Jacob POV**

"Hello, I'm trying to sort out some kind of payment plan as I recently lost my job" I winced at having to say that to some stranger on the other end of the telephone.

"Can you give me your customer reference number, sir?" I reeled off the number, hearing the typing as I did.

"Well, Mr Black it looks like your utilities bills have already been taken care of"

"What!"

"Just two days ago we recieved payment" two days ago I was still in hospital, so who had paid my bills? I knew who it was, it had to be Leah.

"Can you tell me who paid?" there was a brief pause, followed by more typing.

"It was paid by the credit card of a Mr Edward Cullen" my jaw dropped, the son of bitch.

"Well, thanks for that" I hung up and called the electricity company, but I got the same thing. All of my bills had been paid by Edward fucking Cullen.

**~X~X~X~**

After taking Charlie for a walk, I got back to my flat and put out some food for him and had my own breakfast looking across the room at the AA leaflet Leah had left behind. I didn't pick it up to read it, but as it got nearer to noon I found myself thinking about what Edward had said.

Despite being a major jackass for trying to take care of me, when he didn't have the right, I couldn't deny that what he had said made sense.

My phone rang and picking it up, I heard my sister's voice greet me.

"Hi Jacob"

"Hey Rachel, what's up?" Charlie looked up from his spot under the table, as I went to the sofa sitting down and patting the sofa cushion beside me. Edward had hated having Charlie on the furniture, but since he moved out I didn't mind and so my dog bounded over and jumped up, snuggling into my side as I held the phone to my ear.

"We were wondering if you wanted to have lunch with us?" scratching Charlie's chin, I then looked to the coffee table where the leaflet still rested, sighing in resignation I looked down at Charlie.

"I'm sorry Rach, but I have...a meeting to go to" she caught the reluctance in my voice

"A meeting? What kind of meeting?" she replied in disbelief, her voice suggesting that she didn't quite trust what she thought I was going to say next.

"I'm going to an alcoholics anonymous meeting this afternoon" there was a long silence on the other end of the line which had me just a little worried.

"You are?" she said finally.

"Yes, I am" I said resigned to that decision.

"I didn't think that you'd go"

"Neither did I" I remarked honestly.

"So, what changed your mind?"

_don't be selfish. If nothing else you might want to think of what would happen to them, if you drank yourself into another coma or worse_

"I don't know"

After a few more minutes, we hung up and I glanced at the clock. Giving Charlie a final pat on the head I stood up and went to shower and change, so I would be ready by the time Leah came round.

The time went so slowly, when I was changed I still had over an hour left and I cleaned the flat. But as it had been cleaned recently, that didn't take long at all. So then I was back to twiddling my thumbs until Leah arrived.

I heard the horn go as a car pulled up outside, I looked out the window and saw Leah get out of a cab and ask the driver to wait for her before heading to the door.

Opening the door for her when she pressed the buzzer, I saw her glance when I let her in.

"So, are coming to the meeting of have you got somewhere else to be?"

"I'll go, but I'm not making any promises okay?" she nodded and waited for me to continue. "I am trying but it's not for me I am out of there" she bristled a bit but gave me a curt nod and we left the flat.

The meeting was held in a community centre not too far from the hospital, it was a sad looking grey building with graffiti on the outside of the building and the inside didn't look much better. Our particular meeting was held in one of the conference rooms, the walls a plain white colour and the floors a grimy grey linoleum.

With tables pushed to one side of the room, half of them stacked atop each other, there was a circle of black molded plastic chairs. In the chair opposite the door I came in, I made Leah promise to wait outside, was a tall blond woman who looked like she should be gracing the cover of some fashion magazine than in a cramped, stuffy room with a group of sad alcoholics. She was clearly the social worker or mediator or what ever that was there to control the meeting.

For one she had a lanyard round her neck and a serious looking ID card attached to it, furthermore she had a clipboard which she was currently scribbling on.

There were five men and one other woman sat on the chairs, taking a seat next to the woman I looked at the men and inwardly cringed. They all looked like they had seen better days, one man had a long disgusting looking beard and thin greasy hair to his shoulders. Another was bald with yellow broken teeth and a long scar on his right cheek. I didn't belong here, I had nothing in common with any of these people, I should just leave right now.

I was prepared to run out the door and make my excuses to Leah, but then the blond lady cleared her throat and smiled at us.

"Hello everyone, I hope you all had a wonderful week" she spoke slowly, carefully as if each word she spoke was important. Not that she seemed vain or anything, it was more like she was trying to convey importance by choosing her words carefully. "This week we have a new member" she looked to me expectantly and I realised that she was waiting for me to introduce myself when the others leaned in to look at me as well.

"I'm Jacob Black" she smiled and leaned back.

"Welcome, Jacob. I am Carmen Kendrick" she turned to look at the man on her left the bald guy, with the same look but he cottoned on quicker.

"I'm Johnny Davis" he said in deep voice.

"Roger McIntyre"

"George Milne"

"Freddie Pearce"

"Lisa Marsh"

"Andy Stanton" as each person introduced themselves I gave them a nod and now turned to look back at Carmen, who was still smiling brightly at us.

"Right then, Jacob would you like to tell us something about yourself?" hell no.

"I don't know" I said uncertainly and she continued to smile at me as she nodded.

"That's okay" she then addressed the whole group. "Remember that this is a safe place, we are all here to help one another without judgement" she shot another smile at me and then turned to the man on her left once more.

"Why don't we start with telling Jacob how we got here to make him feel more comfortable?" Johnny nodded and began to speak.

"Once when drunk after a night out with the missus , I was driving home when I had an accident. I walked away with a broken arm, but me wife didn't" the almost intimidating man started to sniffle and Carmen handed him a tissue with a sympathetic look when he accepted it. "She was dead before the ambulance got there" Carmen looked to Roger as Johnny dabbed his eyes.

"Well, I had passed out on the sofa forgetting that I had the gas on. When I woke my flat was on fire" he stopped as he went into a coughing fit. "Me and my daughter barely got out alive"

On it went, each person had tragic tales of how their drinking had cause some horrific accident or harmed their loved ones. But that wasn't me, I hadn't hurt anyone else or been the cause for an accident.

The more they talked more certain I was of it.

"After I lost me job, me 'usband left and then me mam took away the kids. I felt like I 'ad nuttin left and tried to kill meself"

This wasn't for me, I was nothing like these people.

Lisa sobbed into a tissue and Andy patted her shoulder sympathetically, at that point I stood up abruptly and shoved my chair back.

"Jacob, do you want to share something?" asked Carmen hopefully.

"No" I looked round at the faces looking at me like I had grown a second head. They looked old and tired, I was barely thirty, I didn't belong here. It was a mistake to come, I was an idiot. "No, I shouldn't be here"

With those words I turned around and left the room, seeing Leah outside she was sipping a cheap cup of coffee as she flicked thorough an old gossip magazine. She spotted me as I marched out and she dropped the magazine, hopping to her feet and following me out as I lit up a cigarette.

"What happened?" she asked as she caught up with me, outside the community centre main entrance doors.

"Its not for me" was the only answer I gave, she threw away the half drunk coffee away and crossed her arms looking unhappy, but I looked away and took a deep puff.

"You weren't even in there long, you barely gave it a chance, Jake" she complained and I shook my head, taking another puff and tapping the ash off the end.

"Leah, they were a bunch of sad, lonely people talking about how they fucked up their liives. That's not me"

"But it could be" I scoffed which seemed to anger her.

"Because you're the expert right?" she didn't say anything and what I felt I needed was a coffee, an irsh coffee. "Thanks Leah, but this isn't for me"

"You need help" my response was to flick the cigarette butt onto the ground and light up another.

* * *

**Edward POV**

Changing into a pale yellow shirt and dark jeans, I looked in the mirror and attempted to flatten my hair not that it ever helped. I left my hotel room and went to my car, driving to the pretentious and overpriced restaurant my father had picked.

My father was already seated at the table, of course he had arrived early, he was perusing a list of wines and ordered a bottle as I reached the table. He was dressed in a dark suit, with a white shirt and navy silk tie. I had foregone a suit and tie, partly because I wanted to see his reaction when he saw me dressed on what he called casual, and partly because I wasn't in the mood for dressing up and pretending to be civil to him.

Plus I had rebelled against him in a big way, so why stop there?

Taking in the lack of a tie and the jeans, he sighed and leaned back a bit in his chair. He smoothed down the front of his tie and cleared his throat, we both remained silent until the ordered wine was brought over to us.

"I have had my lawyer look over the case"

"That was quick" I muttered under my breath.

"And it seems the best way to settle it would be out of court" he remained stoic as he spoke, as if merely doing a business transaction and not talking to his son.

"Father, I can't afford to do that" he remained composed as though that was of little significance.

"Yes, but I can" I shook my head vehemently.

"No way!"

"Edward, keep your voice down" hearing my outburst, several people on the nearby tables were turning around to see what was going on.

"Still, I'm not letting you just sort this out for me. This is my problem, it's one thong having your lawyer look at the case, it's another thing entirely to have you wave your money around" I hissed at him, the people eventually getting back to their own meals.

"Edward, it is money you are entitled to. Your trust fund that hasn't been touched by you, so it is your money" I shook my head not seeing around his logic.

"The way I see it that is your money and I will not use it to solve my problems. I have paid my own way since I left college and it will stay that way. I intend to pay back the money you and mom gave me and Bella" he shook his head like I was being unreasonable.

"Be realistic here, there is no way you can find the money for your case and pay me back. Not unless you accept my help"

"Are you ready to order?"

"No!" the waiter looked a little startled and my father shot me a disapprovingly look, but the waiter recovered quickly.

"I'll give you some more time" with a smile he left and Carlisle Cullen gave me a withering look but I held my ground.

"You were always stubborn, in fact you remind me a lot of myself when I was younger"

"Is that why you are just letting mom go?" his lip twitched and I felt a twinge of guilt for my low blow. He looked down and took a sip of his drink, taking his time before answering me.

"What happened with me and your mother is something I deeply regret, however that is not what we came here to discuss"

"End of discussion father. I will not accept your money and I will find a way to deal with this...situation on my own" I stood up and his eyes followed me. "Bye"

I left before he could respond.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**So I have gotten quite a few reviews on either Jacob or Edward not being in the wrong. I love hearing your thoughts and I would love to hear who you support.**

**Not to sound cheesy, but Team Jacob or Team Edward? Personally, I love both of them and so I would have to say I'm Team Switzerland, not a proper answer I know but I couldn't possibly choose between them!**

**Thanks for reading and until next time, bye!**


	12. Money, Money, Money

**Disclaimer **

**I do not own Twilight or any of the characters, but I do own a questionable leopard print dress.**

**Author's Note:**

**Hello, I loved the response I've gotten so far from this story. I love that none of you are hating on either Jacob or Edward too much.**

**Additionally, to my Guest reviewer I loved your comments and they were in fact very helpful, personally I have never been in this situation but a similar thing happened to a family member so I know how much it hurts others and not just the person coping with drinking problems.**

**I know that this is only fan fiction but I want it be s0omewhat true to real life, for it to be somewhat believable and I hope to some extent I have achieved this. In regards to that it would be unrealistic to have Jacob go to the meeting and for it have a positive effect right away, he still needs to hit the point where he wants to get help.**

**As for Edward he needs some help to and his father coming to see him is a step in the right direction for him as he avoids his issues and when both our boys have sorted their own shit then they may possibly try and work it out between them**

**Lastly, I apologize in advance for my lack of car knowledge so I may get a few things wrong when trying to use the right terminology, but I don't know who to ask about fictional car troubles! :P**

**I am debating with whether I should bring Bella back. Not for any romantic reasons, but maybe for a similar reason as to why Carlisle is back, more for closure, so any thoughts? Would it worthwhile doing it or not?**

**Right, thanks for all the reviews they are brilliant and I am glad that so far you seem to like this story, So, enjoy this new chapter!**

* * *

**Chapter XII ****–**** Money, Money, Money**

**Edward POV**

He followed me out, reaching me as I unlocked my car and opened the driver side door.

"Edward!"

"Thank you father, but I'm not taking your money" he shook his head.

"Son, it's your money"

"No, no it's not" he sighed and I crossed my arms with a huff, aware that I probably looked and sounded like a petulant child and so uncrossing my arms quickly, I stared him down but he stood his ground. "If I take this money it's a way for you to own me, I already owe you for my first failed engagement!" he was silent for a moment, deliberating what I said to him.

"How about a deal then?"

"What do you mean?" he took his time answering.

"Let me take care of this...issue, then come back to America"

"And do what?"

"Join the company we recently acquired, we are in need of a new manager" I was stunned.

"I don't know the first thing at about business" I studied business briefly in school but never took it seriously, I always knew it wasn't what I wanted to do.

"You'll pick it up" he said dismissively. "Plus, you'd mainly be signing papers and overseeing delegates. You can take the job instead of trying to pay me back" the way he talked so arrogantly about it was only slightly irritating.

"That's ridiculous. So I don't have to pay you back , I just get to take the soul sucking job that you got me, because you own the damn company!"

"Now, as I gather you are currently unemployed and so without the means to cover the costs of this lawsuit never mind the exorbitant fee that you are being sued for" he made a lot sense but I couldn't just go back and work for his company.

"I can't just take a job with you and leave London like that"

"What is left for you here?"

"Jacob" I blurted out, he looked concerned raising an eyebrow at me.

"Jacob?" I clamped my mouth shut. "The man you followed half way across the world, after leaving the woman who loved you and your wedding. Only for you to...part ways with him...why stay after that?"

"Because, I love him!" I said, my voice rising so that a few people passing by turned to look. My father looked anxious and he didn't fail to notice the attention we were attracting, he leaned in and spoke in a low whisper.

"Edward" his voice held a warning. "Can you lower your voice, please?"

"No!" my voice only got louder and he looked more uncomfortable. "I can't just leave because I love him and nothing you say can change that!"

"Then why did go on tour?"

"I am not having this conversation with you, I am not taking your money, your help or your job. So, why don't you go _back_ home and do what you've been doing best for the past _eight_ _months_ and pretend that your disappointment of a son doesn't exist?"

"You're-" I got in the car ad shut the door, so I couldn't hear anything he said after that. Starting the engine I drove off quickly, flicking on the radio and turning it up pretty loud as I silently seethed.

Calming down somewhat, I reached a set of traffic lights and breathed heavily a few times and wishing I could see Jacob again. Drumming my fingers against the steering wheel as I waited for the lights to change, an ABBA song came on the radio and I rolled my eyes as I recognised the lyrics.

_I work all night; I work all day, to pay the bills I have to pay,_

_Ain't it sad?_

_And still there never seems to be a single penny left for me,_

_That's too bad,_

After years of being Jacob's friend, his love of musicals and cheesy pop had left me knowing the lyrics to songs that I would rather forget. But now as I heard the ridiculous lyrics, I was reminded of all of the times I had overheard his singing with the radio.

_Money, money, money,_

_Must be funny,_

_In the rich man's world,_

_Money, money, money,_

_Always sunny,_

_In the rich man's world,_

_All the things I could do,_

_If I had a little money,_

_It's a rich man's world,_

Also, I was reminded of the time I walked in on him singing 'Summer Nights' from Grease. I smiled at the memory and the lights changed, I was so caught up in the memory that it was only when the driver in the car behind me piped hid horn that I realised and drove on.

_A man like that is hard to find but I can't get him off my mind,_

_Ain't it sad?_

_And if he happens to be free I bet he wouldn't fancy me,_

_That's too bad,_

_So I must leave, I'll have to go,_

_To Las Vegas or Monaco,_

_And win a fortune in a game, my life will never be the same..._

I found myself smiling like a goofball and singing along to the idiotic song, tapping my fingers against the steering wheel in time to the song. But, when I got back to the hotel, I was in for a _very_ rude awakening.

"Mr Cullen!" called out the receptionist, as I got into the lobby catching me before I could go to the lifts. So, I stopped when I heard my name, turning around and heading towards the desk with raised eyebrows. The woman looked very serious and I couldn't help but feel that my day was not about to get any better.

"Yes?"

"Mr Cullen, I'm afraid that the cheque you tried to pay with has bounced" _oh shit._ "Can you pay another way?" digging in my pocket I dug out my wallet.

"Uh yeah, why don't you try this card?" I handed over my card and after entering my pin it was declined due to insufficient funds in my account. Handing her a credit card she re-entered the figures then let me type in the pin, but it was the same as before, the card was rejected.

"Do you have another card, Mr Cullen?" I shook my head, one credit card was more than enough and normally it was only for emergencies. With a sigh I ran a hand through my hair as the receptionist looked at me.

"I don't have another card"

"Well, in that case Mr Cullen you have until eleven am tomorrow to check out or get the required funds" she said all of this with an air of superiority, funny considering that she had been flirting me from the moment I checked in.

"Thanks"

Getting to my room quickly, I got out my laptop and logged onto my online bank account, seeing the negative numbers on both my savings account and regular account, I groaned and dropped my head into my hands.

From in between my fingers I peeked out at the screen, hoping that by some miracle the figures had changed. They hadn't changed at all.

_What was I going to do?_

I got out my phone and looked at it, staring at it for a few seconds before putting it down on the table. The idea of taking up my father's offer was starting to look much more enticing now, trying to push that thought away I kept glancing at my phone, even as I put the laptop away and tugged off my shirt.

I went to shower and it only gave me more time to think about taking the money. I was unemployed with no foreseeable career prospects if Tanya and the company had their way. I could try d get my old job as a teacher back, it was something I was good at, however the pay was not good and I was in need of the money now.

Getting out of the shower, I towelled off and pulled on a pair of boxers as my cell phone rang. I was about to pick it up when I saw who was calling, it was my father. Resisting the impulse to answer it and accept his earlier offer, I rejected the call and pulled out a plain t-shirt, tugging it on and trying to think of a way to raise some cash.

What was I going to do?

* * *

**Jacob POV**

Stubbing out my cigarette, I stood up and started pacing unable to sit still. Since yesterday and the disaster that had been the Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, I had gotten a few texts from Leah which I ignored. If it wasn't for the fact that there wasn't any alcohol in the flat, I would have poured myself a glass as I felt like I could use a drink or two.

Lighting another cigarette, I continued pacing and my mind went to the bills that had been taken care of by my ex, the very same I had slept with then argued with again. Closing my eyes and sighing heavily, I took a deep drag and slowly released the smoke as my phone chirped with another text probably from Leah again.

Walking round the couch to the coffee table, I picked up my phone and opened the message, it wasn't from Leah.

_So how was the meeting? Edward_

I thought about not responding, I didn't know if I was still mad at him for what happened when he came round or for when he went behind my back. I dismissed that thought in a matter of seconds, holding the cigarette between my lips as I typed out a reply.

_**Not 2 gd, dn't wanna tlk abt it. I knw btw. J**_

_You know what?_

Shaking my head and taking one last puff before stubbing out the cigarette I went to the kitchen and flicked the kettle on.

_**Whn whr u gonna tell me abt the bills u paid 4 me?**_

_Oh, it's no big deal_

Shaking my head angrily, I hit the call button and he answered almost immediately.

"Hey" he greeted when the call connected.

"Do you think I can't take care of myself without you?" I asked bluntly, seeing no reason to beat around the bush.

"No, I don't think that Jacob"

"Well, then why did you think it would be alright for you to try and take care of me?" he sighed and I could hear the scarping of a chair as it was pulled out and then the sounds of him settling into a chair.

"I'm sorry, I was trying to help you. I knew it would be a bit tight financially..." he trailed off as of remembering something. "You know what, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done it"

"What aren't you telling me?" he was silent but I wasn't having it. "Don't do the whole silent thing, what do you know that you are hiding from me?"

"Well...um...while...while, you were in hospital I went to the flat with Leah to get a few things for you and I took a call when I was round" he didn't have to say anymore as I could piece the rest together myself, he continued to talk anyway. "I tried to explain what happened, but they _wouldn't_ _listen_" why was it hard to stay mad at him?

Oh, _right_. It was because I still loved him.

"Stay _out_ of my business Edward"

"I was only _trying_ to help you out"

"I don't need _your_ _help_"

"You need someone's help" he replied which made me angry, there it was.

"Thanks for that Dr Phil. If I need help, I'll get it"

"If you say so" he said in a tone that was less than happy, but I hung up and sat down on the couch, dropping the phone beside me and really wanting that drink just a little bit more.

The next morning I was scanning some job listings when there was a knock on my door and with a sigh I pulled myself up and went to the door, looking through the peephole and seeing Leah on the other side of my door,. For a moment I considered ignoring her, but I knew that wasn't really fair, she was trying to help me, even if I didn't need her help she was trying to look out for me as my friend.

"Hi Leah"

"Jake" she looked a little pissed off and I stepped back as she barrelled in. "Jake, have I ever lied to you or given you any reason to doubt me?"

"No" she put her hands on her hips and started tapping her foot, I half expected her to snap her fingers and do a nodding dog impersonation as she called me out.

"Then, why can you trust that I am trying to help you?" I shook my head and went to get out a cigarette, but I dropped the empty pack on the table with a heavy sigh.

"I'm not going back to that meeting Leah and I'm not going to talk about it anymore"

"It could help you!"

"I don't need any help" shaking I clenched my hands and tried to rein myself in. "I only went the first time, because of E..." I stopped myself and trailed off, but she arched an eyebrow and I knew she understood what I had been about to say.

"Because of Edward?" she shook her head and crossed her arms over her chest. "Jake, the only reason you aren't drinking now is because I got rid of any alcohol you had"

"Since when did you become my mother?" I said raising my voice.

"Jake?" the voice didn't belong to Leah, turning around I saw my family standing at the open door. The voice belonged to my father and I felt like shit when I saw the look on his face.

"Dad" I squeaked out, Leah closed the door after they came in.

"Son, you need to get some help" I shook my head and took a step back.

"I am _FINE_!" I barked at them with a bit of contempt.

"No, you are not!" cried out Rachel and the look she gave me the look they all gave me, one of pity as well as worry was too much for me.

"I don't have to listen to this, I am an adult goddammit and it's my life! Go back home dad" with those parting words, I pushed past Leah and grabbed my things quickly, shutting the door behind me as I left the flat.

* * *

**Edward POV**

"Sorry, Mr Cullen but seeing as you are unemployed and with no current prospects we cannot give you a personal loan at this time" said the Bank Manager with a lot of condescension as he spoke to me. I sighed, not that I didn't know that this would happen, I just didn't expect to run out of options so quickly.

"Well, thanks anyway" leaving the bank my father's offer lingered in the back of my mind and though I hated the thought of being indebted to my homophobic father, it was starting to look like my only viable option at this point.

Getting into my car, I stuck the key in the ignition and starting the engine the car started and I pulled out of my parking spot, when my phone started to ring. Getting it out I looked at the screen I saw Leah's name flash a few a few times, hitting the accept button I put the phone on hands free.

"Hi Leah"

"I need your help" she said and she sounded worried which immediately put me on high alert.

"Is it Jacob?"

"Yes" she quickly explained how she and his family, tried to get him to go back to the Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, after he walked out half way through the first meeting.

"If you and his family can't convince him to go, what makes you thing he's even listen to me?" she sighed heavily and I felt like I was missing something.

"The only reason he went to the first meeting was because of something you said to him" after we slept together, I thought he would have just ignored what I said. "He doesn't know it but I think he is still in love with u and so I think you can get through to him"

"I don't think so, Leah"

"Oh for god sakes can you just try?" she all but shouted down the phone at me in her frustration. "Can you at least find him and try and get him home?"

"I'll try"

"Good" she hung up, then I eyed my phone as I got to a set of traffic lights and dialed Jacob's number. Like I thought it went straight to his voice mail I hung up and didn't leave a message as I knew he wouldn't listen to it.

I headed towards the bar that Jacob and I had met at the previous day. He wasn't there though and no one had seen him, I went to a few more places that I knew he sometimes frequented, and a few bars he'd told me about, along with a few placed we had been to together.

Everywhere I tried was a bust, I called a few hospitals to be on safe side but even that was a dead end.

I didn't know where else he could have gone, where was he?

* * *

**Edward POV**

While I was going out of my mind, I got a call from Jacob's number whilst I was on my way to Leah's hotel. I pulled up outside and remaining in my car I took the call, pressing the phone to my ear.

"Hello?" I said anxiously.

"Hey, is this Edward?" said a deep masculine voice that I did not recognize.

"Yes it is, who is this?"

"I'm a bartender at t' Lord Clyde, your mate 'as 'ad t' many drinks and needs someone t' pick 'im up"

"I can pick him up, what's the address?" fortunately I had a pen in my car and jotted down the address on my hand, sending a quick text to Leah I pulled out of the parking spot and drove like a madman to the pub he was at.

Getting there I virtually ran inside and went to the bar where a dark haired pot bellied man was wiping down the bar. He took one look at me and put down the cloth.

"Edward?" I nodded vigorously.

"Where is he?" he pointed to the booth near the back door and I saw Jacob's feet dangling out the booth, with a nod at the bartender and rushed thanks I went over to him, stopping the moment I saw his face. There was an empty pint glass on the table and he was currently passed out.

For a moment I just looked at him, his hair was sticking up in various directions and he had circles under his eyes, I wonder when the last time he got a decent night's sleep was?

"Jake" I said softly, leaning in and gently grabbing his shoulder, he stirred and muttered something in his unconscious state.

With the help of the bartender, I got Jacob into the back seat of my Volvo he stirred a bit more but his eyes remained closed.

"Thank you" the bartender grunted in acknowledgement and went back inside, whilst I was about to close the back door, when Jacob said something else but this time it was loud enough for me to hear.

"Edward" I pressed my lips together and leaned forward, brushing his hair off of his forehead and he leaned into my touch. "Edward, I love you...I love you but it' hurts too much"

His words broke my heart and I half wanted to kiss him, to kiss him awake and tell him that I loved him too, so much.

But I couldn't do that. I had so much shit to sort out first and so did he, I needed to sort out my money problems and he did need to go to those meetings.

I couldn't be on the fence anymore when it came to Jacob. If I wanted it to work I needed to man up and fight for him, even if that meant sitting with him in meetings or attempting to knock out Russian body builders hitting on him.

He was worth it all.

"I love you too Jacob and I'm going to prove it" I closed the door and got in the driver's seat,

I drove him home where Leah was waiting for us, she looked very relieved to see Jacob but it was short lived when she saw what condition he was in.

"What happened?"

"He was passed out at a bar" she shook her head and helped me get Jacob into bed, giving him a sad, worried glance that looked out of place on her face more accustomed to scowling.

"What are we going to do?"

"Be there for him" she didn't look at me but as we left the bedroom she nodded. "Look, I have some things to sort out and then I'll talk to Jacob"

"Like what?" I quickly filled her in on my financial situation.

"I can't help Jacob, when my own life's a mess"

"You still love him" it was a statement not a question.

"I never stopped, you know that"

"You know when Jacob woke up?" I raised an eyebrow and nodded. "We heard what you said to him and you should know none of us blame you for what happened"

"I left him, Leah"

"You came back too, you both still love each other and that counts for something"

"But is it enough?"

"You tell me" I shrugged and then sighed, leaving after I made her promise to call if anything at all happened with Jacob.

Getting to my car, I put the key in but stopped and got out my phone and called my father.

"Hello"

"Hi Father, would you mind meeting me for a chat. I owe you an apology"

**~X~X~X~**

"Hello Edward" he was already seated at a table in the bar of the hotel he was staying at.

"Hello" I paused and took off my jacket, looking back at him as I continued to speak. "I'm sorry for yesterday, it was childish of me to walk out and make a scene like that"

"It was understandable that you were a bit upset" I ran a hand through my hair and nodded.

"Yeah, look dad" he sat up a little straighter his indication that I had his full attention. "I appreciate you wanting to help even it's just because of the Cullen name, but I am declining the job offer and I need you to know why" he nodded.

"I left tour because of Jacob, he was in trouble and I couldn't just go on with my life knowing there was something wrong. I love him, I am in love with him and I know you don't understand that because I had Bella, but we weren't right for each other I just never saw it before"

"You are right, I don't understand it. but.." he paused and sighed heavily. "I cannot deny that you seem to genuinely Love Jacob, maybe I wrong to react the way I did when you first told me, wrong still when I didn't come see you sooner" he looked regretful. "Son...I owe you an apology, for being such a...righteous bigot" he gave me a small apologetic smile. "Can you forgive your old man?"

"Of course" we stood and he gave me a hug, he held me quite tightly and went he let me go we sat down again.

"So the job is out of the question, but you still have no financial safety net and this case will cost you more money than you can currently afford" he was genuinely worried, I could tell by the way he scrunched up his forehead.

"I'll find a way" he shook his head, unsure.

"Let me help you" I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Edward, please don't be so damn stubborn and let me help you out without wanting anything in return" I thought about it and I didn't really see another way that I would be able to sort this out myself.

Plus, with this out of the way I could help Jacob and not worry about my own problems.

"Are you sure?" he gave me a pointed look.

"I am sure"

"Okay then" I replied albeit still a little reluctant to take my father's money.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**We are now a step close to these boys resolving their issues, any thought on where this should go next? Should we bring Demetri back and have a little confrontation? Should Jacob listen to his family and Edward and get some help?**

**Thank you for reading guys, see you all next time!**


	13. Can't Stop Now

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters.**

**Author's Note:**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

**Chapter XIII ~ Can't Stop Now**

**Edward POV**

So, the next stop on the Edward Cullen apology tour was the school, maybe if I was lucky I could get my old teaching post back. Arriving at the school after making an appointment with the principal Mr. Peter Merchant, I was waiting outside of his office, tapping my foot and fiddling with my tie.

"Mr. Cullen, you can go in now" said the new receptionist with a friendly smile as I stood up and went to the door. I hesitated for a moment as my hand hovered above the door handle, but I needed to do this. Opening the door, I entered and closed the door behind me, Peter glancing up from his desk and standing up to shake my hand.

"Good to see you again Edward, though I half expected to see on a stage rather than in my office" he laughed at his own joke and I did too, although mine sounded very fake. "So, how can I help you?"

"Mr. Merchant, although I had hoped to start a new career...it didn't quite pan out"

"Does this mean you are looking for your old job back?" he asked with a knowing smile.

"Well yes" there was no point stalling, might as well get to the point. He either would or would not give me, my old teaching position and babbling would only waste time.

"We have had a supply teacher taking your classes until we could find a more permanent teacher, none of the other applicants really worked out" he sat back down at his desk and motioned for me to sit down as well, he leaned forward and pressed his hands together as he pondered the situation. "Well, we already know that you are capable but would you leave again?"

"I think any career I might have had as a recording artist is well and truly over"

"What a shame, but not for us. Edward, you can have your old job back"

"Really?" hrs smiled and nodded.

"Yes, how about you start on Monday?"

"That would be brilliant, thank you" we stood again and shook hands once more. "You have no idea how much this means to me"

"It's good to have you back"

"It's good to be back"

"Your schedule is pretty much the same but you can pick up a copy at the reception and get the keys to your office"

"Thanks you once again, for giving me this chance" he nodded and with a smile, I left his office and got the schedule and keys walking down the hallway and feeling a little lighter at having sorted that out easily.

"Hey, stranger!" greeted Angela as she came out of her classroom.

"How around you Angel?" she smiled at the nick name and hugged me when she reached me.

"I'm good, how about you? The rock star lifestyle not for you?" I forced the smile but it felt a little strained.

"It didn't really work out for me" she gave me a sympathetic look that thankfully didn't look at all condescending.

"Well, for totally selfish reasons I'm glad that you are back, I missed you"

"Me too, I got my job back and I officially start on Monday so how about dinner and you can catch me up on what's been going on?"

"That would be so much fun, you are on mister"

"Right, well I won't keep you. Have a good weekend and I'll see you on Monday"

"See you Edward" she kissed my cheek and we parted ways, leaving the building I headed to my car when my phone rang. Getting into my car, I glanced at the screen and then accepted the call as I shut the door and stuck my keys in the ignition.

"Hey, Leah"

"Edward, it's not good"

"What happened?" I put her on speaker and started the engine, pulling out of the car lot quickly and heading towards the flat.

"This morning, I waited till he got up. He was really hungover and I was tying to talk to him but he snapped and took off again"

"I'll find him" hanging up, I made a u-turn and headed towards the bar I found him in last night.

When I got there, the same guy was at the bar but the place was a little more crowded and I looked around but I couldn't see him. I waited until the bartender was free and after serving a couple of patrons he slowly walked over to me.

"Has my friend been in?"

"No" I grabbed a coaster and a pen out of my pocket, scrawling my number on one side.

"Will you call if he shows up?" he nodded and took the coaster. "Could you do me a favor and not serve him any drinks?"

"Mate this is a pub, the point is t' sell booze"

"He's an alcoholic on his way to liver failure" the words didn't seem to faze him. "Just call if you see him, please" he nodded again and I left going back to my car.

I tried all of the bars I thought he might go and then the places that were just nearby, no luck. I contemplated calling the hospitals again, but decided to leave it a while before going there.

Maybe I was looking at this wrong. He had to know we were looking for him. So where would he go if he really didn't want to be found?

I glanced at my watch, it had just gone past half twelve and I was running out of places to look short of calling up the hospitals again. Then, it occurred to me where he might have gone.

* * *

**Jacob POV**

I took another swig of cheap vodka, grimacing a bit at the burn at the back of my throat, before then taking a puff off of the cigarette in my other hand. Leaning back I looked up at the sky, it was already dark and the stars were out.

Taking another long drag I sighed and closed my eyes tilting my head back more, as the smoke escaped my lips.

"Thought I'd find you here" came a voice that I recognized instantly, even despite the fact that I had nearly drunk half a bottle of vodka on my own.

"Really?" I opened my eyes as he sat down next to me on the park bench, he kept a little bit of distance between us but it didn't stop me thinking about last time. It would be easy to try it again, I doubt he would resist much if at all.

"Well, after trying all of the bars in London I had to try somewhere else"

"Am I that predictable?" I took another puff, blowing the smoke out of the side of my mouth and away from Edward, aware of how much he always hated me smoking.

"No, but we have been friends for years. I think I know you well enough"

"We haven't been friends for a while"

"We were good friends" I scoffed and flicked the butt onto the grass, half turning away from him although I could still feel his eyes on me.

"Yeah right, until I 'turned' you"

"Jake" he said in an almost admonishing way. "Jake, I owe you an apology"

"Really?" he sighed and leaned forward, running a hand through his gorgeously messy hair.

"Yeah, I realized that I was doing the exact thing I hated my father for. I'm sorry for going behind your back with those bills, I thought I was doing the right thing" taking another swig I gave him a sideways glance and saw the way he hung his head and slumped his shoulders.

"It's okay...I may have over reacted a bit" he looked up and gave me a small smile and I smiled back.

"You should also know that I meant what I said the other day, I love you and that means I'm not going anywhere. I will be here when you need me" his eyes flickered to the bottle in my hand. "That includes being there for you, as you get some help"

"And we are back to that again, honestly you and Leah are like broken records" I looked down, shaking my head and then taking another swig from the bottle. "I don't need help, you should have seen those losers at the meeting"

"Tell me about it"

"They had these tragic sob stories on how they fucked up their lives but that's not me. I. Am. Fine" he gave me a sad look and ran a hand through his hair again as he sighed heavily.

"Jacob, you lost your job because you were holed up in your apartment drunk or hung over. If you keep going like this you will push away Leah and your family who only want the best for you" I put the bottle down on the bench and stood up.

"Stop, alright! Just stop! I have had all this shit from Leah, my dad and my sisters and I don't need it from you. Why can't you just leave me alone, why couldn't you stay away?" my voice rose as I let out all of my anger and frustration out, he just sat there and took it all. "You left! You choose to leave and I was on my own, I don't need you now coming to my rescue like my knight in shining armor, it doesn't work like that!"

"Jake" ignoring him I started to walk away, out of the park towards where my car was parked on the other side of the gate. "Jake!" he called out as he followed me.

I walked faster getting out my keys and unlocking my car, I got in and thrust the key into the ignition, when the front passenger side door opened and Edward slid in and shut the door.

"Get out of my car Edward" I said between gritted teeth.

"No, look Jake I"

"Have it your way" starting the engine, I stamped my foot down sending the car lurching forward Edward fumbled for the seatbelt as I started to speed down the road.

"Jesus Jake, slow down!"

"That's rich coming from you, how many speeding tickets have you gotten?" the needle on the speedometer shot up, inching it's way to eighty. He looked very uncomfortable now, gripping the handle on the door as his eyes widened.

"Jacob, you're on the wrong side of the road!" snapped my head back around to look ahead, I jerked the seeing wheel to the left and found myself back on the right side of the road. He only got paler, his knuckles going white as his grip on the handle tightened.

"Sorry, about that"

"Can we just stop the car?"

"No" I flicked the radio on and turned it up until the Kings of Leon song that was playing blasted out. "You didn't have to get in the car"

"You're over the limit" I didn't quite know where I was driving but taking a few sharp turns that had Edward tightly clenching his jaw I ended up on a motorway. I sped up even more, overtaking a few cars I started to swerve.

"Jake, pull over and I can drive" I shook my head, taking a hand off the wheel to get out a cigarette. "Fucking hell!" he grabbed the wheel and turned it to avoid us crashing into the back end of a truck as I still had my foot on the accelerator. Lighting up as he kept his hands on the steering wheel and I took a puff, rolling down the window then putting my hands back on the steering wheel.

"I've got it"

"Can you at least slow down a bit?" getting off the motorway we got to a set of traffic lights, ignoring Edward's pleas for to stop I went past the lights despite the fact it had turned red.

I didn't see the car heading towards us, until it hit the left side of my car.

My car spun around due to the force of the hit and the airbags went off, my seatbelt cutting into my chest as it kept me from flying forwards out of my seat and through the windscreen. When the car came to a stop, I blinked rapidly as my vision had gone a bit blurry, when my vision cleared I turned to look at Edward and saw him slumped back in the seat with blood trickling down the side of his forehead.

"Oh, no. No, no, no" fumbling with the belt, my fingers felt heavy and clumsy and in my panic it took a couple of tries to get it unbuckled. Sitting up, I leaned over the gear stick to unbuckle his belt and check his pulse. As I pressed two fingers to the side of his throat, I wasn't sure if I was doing it right until I felt the steady pulse and sighed in relief.

He was unconscious but he was still breathing, so shifting in my seat so the air bag wasn't in my face I grabbed the door handle and got out of the car. My side of the car was relatively undamaged and with growing guilt and panic despite the fact he was still breathing, I called an ambulance and had to force myself to breath as I repeated the street name.

Looking around the road we were on was empty apart from my car and other car that had hit us, it was a few yards away the front end of the small blue car smashed. Checking on Edward once more, I jogged over to the other car, ignoring the slight pain in my right arm as I looked at the broken windscreen.

She had hurled forwards breaking the glass head first so she was currently slumped on the hood of her car half of her body still inside, she stirred and there was movement beneath her eyelids as she let out a painful moan, lots of blood everywhere.

"Oh, god" I said as I saw the damage and realized what had happened because of me. I didn't know what to do.

Should I get her out of the car properly? Or should I not move her in case I make her injuries worse? Oh god, why didn't I ever listen when I took first aid at school?

Hearing the sirens I felt a little relieved, stepping back I turned in the direction of the sirens and seeing the lights flashing as it came up the road, I waved my arms as it got closer and stopped in front of me.

One paramedic rushed over to the car with the woman and the other came over to me.

"Are you hurt Sir?"

"No, I'm fine but my…my friend is unconscious" he went over to my car and opened the door, checking his pulse and then getting out a small light and flashing it in his eyes after Edward stirred and opened his eyes. The paramedic got Edward into the back of the ambulance, he was able to walk by himself even though he was a bit wobbly.

Then he helped the other paramedic carry the woman into the ambulance with a stretcher, her eyes were closed and I don't think I would ever be able to forget the intense remorse I felt at that moment as another moan of pain escaped her.

Running round the vehicle to the back doors as they brought her inside, Edward turned his head to look at me.

"Edward"

"Jake" he murmured as he looked at me and despite the blood on his forehead he looked concerned for me.

"Sorry Sir, but unless you're family…"

"He can come with me, he's my fiancé" Edward said without hesitation and not taking his eyes off me until the paramedic nodded and I slid in next to Edward. The second paramedic shut the doors as he took my hand, looking at him and the cut on his head I frowned and he squeezed my hand, not saying anything as the ambulance started to race through the streets.

I glanced away from him and the woman on the stretcher, who had been hurt because of me sometime during the panic I had sobered up somewhat, though it was a little too late now. I couldn't look away from the woman as the paramedic tried to keep her stable.

"What have I done?" I muttered and Edward just held my hand silently.

Getting to the hospital the woman was rushed away and I heard the words unstable and blood loss, a doctor took her into surgery and a nurse took Edward aside but he kept a firm grip on my hand. Luckily he only had a mild concussion and a broken arm, the cut on his head needed stitches. When he was patched up with tape on his head and a cast on his arm we went to the waiting room and I was so petrified I could barely speak properly.

Edward kept me by his side and went to the nurses to station to ask about the woman brought in with us, but as we weren't family they wouldn't tell us anything.

"Can you just tell me if she will be alright?" the nurse at the computer sighed and typed on the keyboard rapidly.

"Lara Kearns, she is in surgery so we don't know how she is yet"

"Thank you anyway" he turned away from the desk and led me away. "Jacob-"

"I need to do something!" I said speaking over him. "That woman _and_ you got hurt and it's _my_ fault and I can't sit here and do _nothing_!" a few people looked up disapprovingly as my voice got louder, Edward noticed it right away and tensed his jaw a bit.

"We aren't family, they won't let us know any details and making a scene doesn't help"

"Fine, but I'm not going anywhere until I know she's alright" he sighed but nodded and we sat down, the nurse looking over at us momentarily before resuming her paperwork. We sat silent for about half an hour staring ahead until, I turned my head to look at him and the stitches and cast, he caught my gaze and his hand found his way to mine again.

"It's not as bad as it looks" I frowned realizing he was trying to placate me.

"You're the one that got hurt so why are you trying to make me feel better?"

"Cause I can tell your hurting inside more than I am, plus I'm all drugged up I can barely feel my toes" he gave me a dopey smile and it made me a little better, having his by my side and I realized how much I missed this, us being friends.

"I missed you"

"Me too"

It was a while before anything happened, but a few hours later coming close to five am the nurse who had spoken to us earlier approached us.

"Hi"

"Hi" I said sitting up straighter.

"You should know that Lara Kearns has gotten out of surgery and she is stable but she's in the Intensive care Unit"

"Thank you" she nodded briefly and then left.

**~X~X~X~**

Calling a cab we waited outside even though it was getting chilly, I turned to Edward remembering he had a concussion.

"Edward are you going to go to the hotel you've been staying at?" he quirked an eyebrow like it was obvious.

"Yes"

"Stay with me" I blurted out tactlessly and his eyes widened. "You have a concussion and you shouldn't be on your own, I can look after you if you stay with me" I back tracked and he pressed his lips together and nodded the cab we called coming around the corner, getting in I gave the address to the driver and stopped myself from taking Edward's hand again.

When we got to the apartment we were both quiet and there was a fair bit of tension between us as I slid the key into the lock and then flicked on the lights.

"Do you want a drink?"

"Just a glass of water, please" getting us both glasses of water, we sat down on the sofa and my mind went to the woman in hospital.

"She's stable now Jake, you heard what the nurse said" as usual he read my mind.

"She wouldn't be there if it wasn't for me"

"And feeling sorry for yourself helps?" I shook my head and took a sip of my water. "Jake" he said softly and I looked up at him. "I know how bad you feel about what happened...so don't you see that you need to get some help?" sighing and putting down my glass I clasped my hands together and nodded.

"...Yes, I think your right" he looked a bit relieved and he moved closer to me.

"Please, get some help. Do it however you think is best, group or one on one just do it, please"

"Okay" he leaned back and nodded.

"I can go with you if you want...or not if you'd rather be on your own" he paused for a moment his expression very serious. "Jacob, I want you to know that I am here for you...I love you and I _am_ going to fight for you"

"Okay" he raised an eyebrow.

"Don't you have anything else to say?" I turned round to face him properly.

"I love you too"

He took my hand again, bringing it to his lips and giving the back of my hand a soft kiss, his lips lingering for a moment.

At that moment I realized that there was blood on his shirt and standing up abruptly, he looked at me oddly.

"There's...um...blood on your shirt" he looked down to confirm what I said.

"Do you have a shirt I can borrow?" nodding I went to the bedroom and I didn't realize that he had followed me in till I turned around and saw him by the door.

"Here you go" he walked in and took the t-shirt I handed him.

"Thanks" I let him get changed, going into the living room and over to the window popping it open before lighting up a cigarette.

"Jake!" Edward called out and sticking the cigarette in the ashtray I now kept on the window sill, hurrying to the bedroom worried something had happened.

"Edward!" he was still standing where he had been when I left the room, his shirt was half unbuttoned and he looked a mite disgruntled. "What is it?"

"I seem to require some help" he said gritting his teeth in annoyance as he looked down at the cast his arm was in.

"Okay" he stood very still as I approached him and unbuttoned his shirt for him, he winced as I eased off the shirt even though I tried to be delicate with him.

Then he was shirtless.

Despite recent events and the cast on his arm, he was still as striking as ever. But...on the left side of his torso, there was a large bruise forming, his skin was so pale that the contrast was sickeningly startling.

"Jake, its fine" he whispered as he my expression of horror. I shook my head vehemently, swallowing the sudden lump in my throat as my fingers reached out to touch the bruise. Stopping myself when I was almost touching him, Edward watched me with his lips pressed together.

"I'm so sorry" his eyebrows furrows and sighed.

"It's okay, I'm-"

"No, no you're not! And if you imagine what...imagine what condition the other woman in intensive care is in!" I tore my eyes away from the bruise but when I looked up at his face, I saw the concern for me and it broke me, my eyes watering I sat on the bed and he did too.

"Jake, you know what you need to do. You feel guilty and that is perfectly natural so do something with that instead of make yourself feel better by getting off your head" I nodded and leaned forward.

"I promise that I won't ever let anything like this happen again. I need to get help"

"I know" he replied simply and with a deep sigh I turned to face him and helped him into the clean t-shirt, before leaving him to use the bathroom after he insisted he didn't my help in that department.

Going back to the window I relit the cigarette, breathing in deep as I looked out the window. The bathroom door opened when I was near the end of the cigarette, Edward walked in eyeing the cigarette.

"Really?"

"I have too many bad habits" he grabbed a chair from the table, pulling it over and sitting down, resting his head on the wall as he glanced up at me.

"You look exhausted, when was the last time you got a decent night's sleep?"

"Dunno...I won't be able to sleep now anyway" stubbing out the cigarette, we looked out, it had been dark still when we left the hospital but now it was starting to get light out.

"You should still get some rest Jake"

"I should be the one taking care of you" he gave me a humorless smile.

"At the risk of sounding cheesy my wounds are largely superficial, I'll heal and my bruises will fade but for you it'll be a bit harder because I think your cuts run a little deeper"

"You're right. That was cheesy"

"You still need some rest"

"How about breakfast instead?" he nodded and after rummaging through my very bare fridge we settled for making omelets. Well, I did as Edward couldn't really help out much, so he settled for criticizing my cooking and telling me what to do.

"I can cook a damn omelet"

"Looks like it" he replied dryly.

"Do you have to be so annoying?"

"Deal with it" he said childishly and for a moment I thought that he was about to stick out his tongue out at me.

"I guess, I'll have to get used to it...again" he raised an eyebrow in confusion and I continued. "You stay on your own at the hotel, so you can stay here and I can help you out"

"Jake"

"You can take the bedroom and I'll take the couch" he didn't look too happy about that part.

"Jacob, I can't-"

"Can't what? I know you're not an invalid Edward but you can't look after yourself, not while your arm is in that thing" I gestured to the cast, not that he really needed reminding.

"Alright then" he said finally, caving in. turning the hob off, I dished up the food and we ate in silence until after we had finished and as I was putting the plates away, Edward spoke up.

"Jake...what does this mean...for us?" my back to him as I put the plates in the sink I shrugged my shoulders.

"I don't know"

"Then is me staying with you such a good idea" I turned around to face him.

"I'm not too sure about that either"

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**So, shorter than my other chapters but a big development happening here! ****Any thoughts? Glad Jacob got the kick up the ass he needed to do something or was it too harsh?**

**Thank you all for reading and see you next time!**


	14. A Multitude of Casualties

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters.**

**Author's Note:**

**I don't know a lot about law, so instead of making you all suffer through it, I've decided to gloss over it a bit, sorry if you don't like it but I'd rather not write a load of inaccuracies into this. The same goes for my medical knowledge, I tried to research it but I may get some things wrong so please bear with me.**

**Finally, there will be a few time jumps in this chapter, it's just to skip some slower, dull parts that would otherwise make it lag a bit.**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

**Chapter XIV – A Multitude of Casualties**

**Jacob POV**

Opening my eyes I looked up at the ceiling, rubbing my eyes I sat up and was a little shocked to see Edward sitting at the table. Then I grabbed my phone from where it lay on the coffee table, checking the time and realising that it was nearly ten in the morning.

"Good morning" he said, taking a sip of water and leaning back in his chair.

"How long have you been up?" I stood up and with a sigh I folded up the blanket, I noticed that Edward was already dressed, he must have struggled somewhat with it as the top button wasn't done up and it wasn't tucked into his jeans but left loose.

"Not long" he wasn't telling the whole truth but I was stopped from asking him, when there was a knock on the door. With a frown I shook my head when Edward almost rose, standing up and going to the door.

When I did open the door there were two police men outside my door.

"Hello?"

"Hello, are you Jacob Black?" asked the first officer.

"Yes" I said, unsure what this was about.

"It has come to light that you were involved in a car accident, two nights ago?" I nodded at the first police officer.

"Sir, you are under arrest for driving under the influence. You do not have to speak but it may harm..." I barely heard the rest of the words as I was cuffed and led away, Edward following me out as I numbly went with the two men.

**~X~X~X~**

A few hours later and I was back home, but with a court date and sore wrists.

"Jake"

"I'm going to go have a shower" I said quickly, heading to the bathroom.

"Okay"

Running the hot water I spent a long time under the hot spray, I hadn't been there long but the horrible stench of piss and other things I couldn't name clung to me.

I didn't want to go to jail, but I doubted that I would be let go so easily.

When I eventually got out, I got changed quickly walking past Edward and to the door, grabbing my keys.

"Where are you going?" he asked, looking concerned for me.

"I'm just going for a walk"

"Shall I come with you?"

"I'm just going for a walk, I need some air"

"Okay" he said as I opened the door and then left, letting the door close behind me as I slid on my jacket and shoved my hands into my pockets. I kept my head down and put my phone on silent, walking down to the end of the road before hailing a black cab.

The cab dropped me off outside the hospital, with my hands still in my pockets I walked in and went to the desk where a young nurse was shuffling thought some paper work.

"Excuse me, can you tell me which room Lara Kearns is in?"

"Are you family?"

"I'm her cousin" she gave me the room number, heading to the lifts I went to the right floor realising that she was still in the Intensive Care Unit.

When the lift doors open I stepped out of the lift and hesitated. What right did I have to come here? What if her family was here, they wouldn't want me here, would they?

The lift doors started to close and I spun round, catching the door before it closed and getting back in. I hit the ground floor button and looked down as the doors closed on the Intensive Care Unit.

* * *

**Edward POV**

Running my hands though my hair and sighing heavily, I watched Jacob leave the apartment.

He was starting to retreat into himself and he wouldn't talk to me. The cab ride back to the flat had been silent, with Jacob staring out of the window for most of it and barely talking to me.

After he left, I stood up and went to the door where my jacket was hung up, reaching in the pocket and pulling out Jacob's car keys. In the morning I had gone to take care of Jacob's car, the car belonging to Lara Kearns had already been towed away the road being closed down.

I had to explain that the car was mine, well Jake's before I could get to it and call the nearest garage. I was going to tell Jacob but then he got hauled to jail and it seems fairly minor compared to everything else.

Getting another cup of coffee, I absentmindedly did it as my mind wandered to Jacob. I went to the living room, thinking I could get a start on my lesson plans for Monday, I was an hour into it when there was a knock on the door.

"That better not be the police again" I muttered to myself as I opened the door.

"Edward?" said the massive Russian at the door, oh fucking hell what was he doing here.

"Demetri, what are you doing here?"

"I was looking for Jacob...I thought you were on tour?" he asked looking just as confused as I felt.

"I came back, why are you here? I thought Jacob got fired and isn't working with you anymore?" he looked at the cast on my arm and I shifted my weight on to my other leg.

"I haven't heard from him in a while and I wanted to see how he was" I didn't trust him for one second, it was clear liked Jacob and I bet he wasted no time pursuing him when I left.

"He's fine"

"Can I see him?" clearly he didn't trust me either.

"Well...um...currently he is preoccu-"

"Demetri?" We both turned to see Jacob coming up towards us, he looked to his ex colleague and then to me seeming confused and then for some reason he looked a bit guilty. "What are you doing here?" he stopped outside the door and the Russian turned around, partly blocking my view of Jacob.

"Are you okay? I haven't seen you in a while"

"I'm fine" he seemed a bit tense and I think Demetri could tell. Jacob walked around him and into the apartment, I stood aside as Demetri remained where he was, Jacob turning around to face him again. "Really, so thanks for coming round but you didn't have to" he nodded but didn't walk away glancing at me before looking back at Jacob.

"Are you back with him?"

"It's complicated"

"He left you" Jacob narrowed his eyes and looked livid.

"I am here you know, I can hear what you're saying"

"You're here for now, what about when a better offer comes along?" he retorted and my mouth fell open, I was so very tempted to punch him.

"You asshole!" I growled at him and he sneered at me.

"At least I was here"

"Demetri!" Jacob admonished angrily. "Both of you, stow your crap! Edward, for fuck's sake can you give us a minute?" I gave him a glare for good measure before retreating into the bedroom, even though I still wanted to punch the guy even though he would probably flatten me with his pinkie.

After pacing for a few moments I went to the door and was about to try and listen in but then thought against it and continued to pace. However after a few minutes I could hear some muffle words and gave in pressing my ear against the door, however I had forgotten something. The opened outwards and I hadn't shut the door properly.

* * *

**Jacob POV**

"You're really back with him...after what he did. Jacob he left you"

"You think I don't know that? It's not that simple" he shook his head.

"He isn't worth your time"

"Yeah, well I think I can decide that for myself. We aren't really back together, it's too soon for that...but"

"But?" he raised an eyebrow and I sighed heavily.

"I don't know okay, I'm trying to figure it out but I have other stuff on my mind"

"Like what?"

"Jesus Demetri, just private stuff"

"I thought you wanted to be friends" he said and he sounded a bit dejected, I remembered that was what I had said to him before I left his place last time and never called him.

"Fucking hell" I really wanted a drink, but I settled for a smoke getting one out my pack and lighting one up. "I'm sorry about that but I need to focus on getting my life together...and Edward is part of that"

"But I'm not"

"I didn't say that" he nodded and took a step back.

"He left once because he wanted to do something else to be a singer or whatever and now for whatever reason he is back. How long do you think he will stay Jacob? Because he will once he gets another offer, he barely thought about you he never even tried to contact you!" there was something about the last part that got me, stubbing out my cigarette I turned round and furrowed my eyebrows in confusion.

"I never told you that"

"I...you told me" I shook my head slowly.

"No...I didn't, I hardly ever talked about Edward and I sure as hell never told you that he hadn't tried to call me!" he pressed his lips together and I went up to him. "What aren't you telling me?"

"Nothing!" he was way too defensive and I was ready to get it out of him, when the bedroom door swung open and Edward fell out and onto the floor.

"Shit!" he said as his arm his the floor first and the his head.

"Edward!" I went over to him and pulled him up into a sitting position on the floor. "What the hell, where you doing?"

"I fell?" he said in dazed way, hissing in pain when he moved his arm.

"You idiot" getting him to stand I took him to the couch, and then I went to get the pain medication prescribed to him when he got his arm in a cast. "Here you go" he knocked it back and took the glass of water I offered him, as I looked angrily at Demetri.

"Thanks" I nodded and crossed my arms over my chest.

"Demetri you should just go" he opened his mouth to protest.

"Jacob"

"Just go!" his shoulders slumped a bit but he turned around and walked out, I went to shut the door once he had left returning to sit on the edge of the coffee table opposite Edward. "Did you hurt your arm?"

"Just a little"

"Good" I said a little harsher than I needed to be, leaning forward a bit I looked down and put my hands to my temples. "You were trying to eavesdrop, weren't you?" he gave me a sheepish nod.

"Sorry" I gave him a humourless smile and shook my head.

"It's okay, I should tell you something" he looked nervous.

"Has it got something to do with _him_?"

"Yes" his jaw clenched, but he waited for me to elaborate. "When you were gone about a few weeks after, I went out to a club in London. I was drinking and Demetri was there, it was a sort of party for my boss"

"What happened?" he asked in a low voice and I got the sense that he wasn't sure if he really wanted to know.

"I went to his flat" running a hand through his hair, he then pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes.

"Did you?..."

"No! No. No, I couldn't. At first I wanted to we had been flirting quite a bit, but then I just couldn't do it because I started thinking about you" breathing out he dropped his hand and opened his eyes.

"Thank you for being honest, even though you have no reason to. After all I couldn't blame you if you did sleep with him"

"Continuing with the theme of honesty, I think if I had tried to go through with it I probably would have ended up crying or something" he dropped his eyebrows looking distressed.

"You know I thought about you all the time, a lot of the time I thought I should go back, when you didn't respond to my message I thought you were telling me you had moved on" it clicked.

"What message?"

"A few weeks into the tour, I was missing you so much and I was seriously thinking about coming back to London. I called you but it went to your voice mail so I left a message. But you never called and Tanya convinced me to go on with the tour" I stared opened mouthed at him. "What is it?"

"I never got a message or a missed call from you"

"I distinctly remember leaving the message, I had broken my phone before and had this crappy replacement with none of my contacts. I called you when I got my phone back"

"I...wait do you remember the date?" I got up the calendar on my phone and when he told me the date it made sense.

On that day I had been out at the club for Jane's leaving party, I had been with Demetri and I had left my phone with him.

"What is it Jake?"

"Son of a bitch!"

**~X~X~X~**

Hopping out of the cab after telling the driver to wait for me, I made my way to the door of the apartment building and hit the buzzer for Demetri's flat.

"Hello"

"Demetri let me in"

"Jacob?"

"Can you let me in?" there was silence over the intercom and then he buzzed me in. Going up to his apartment he opened the door after I knocked, letting me in silently.

"Do you want a drink?"

"No thanks, I'm not staying long" I replied tersely.

"Jacob"

"Why did you get rid of the message from Edward?" he sighed and walked over to me, I stuffed my hands into my pockets ad glared at him.

"He wasn't there...I was"

"You had no right"

"Neither did he! Edward will only hurt you" I shook my head.

"That's my business, mine. You have no right and I want you to stay away from me and while you're at it, get rid of my number" I went to the door

"Why, because I deleted one message?" I stared at the door.

"No, because you lied and pretended to be my friend"

"Jake" he came over and put a hand on my shoulder, I shook him off but he did it again turning me around being a bit stronger than me.

"Let me go" he refused and still holding me by the shoulders he kissed me, it was rough and getting my arms out of his grip I pushed him back, staggering back a bit myself. "Don't do that again"

I walked out of the apartment and went back home.

**~X~X~X~**

"What the hell are you doing?" I asked as I walked in on Edward in the kitchen, a spoon wedged into the side of his cast.

"My arm was itchy" he complained and I shook my head, putting down the shopping bags and then spotting the official looking letter by the door.

"That came today" said Edward spotting my gaze.

"I gathered" ignoring the food to be put away, I went over to the letter and ripped it open, scanning the letter quickly.

"What is it?"

"I have a court date"

"When?"

"Only two weeks from now"

**Two weeks later...**

"I am an alcoholic, I know that" I sighed but no one said anything, I didn't get any judging looks. This was my second meeting well third if you counted the one I walked out of, I didn't.

It was difficult, gosh it was so damn difficult but I needed to do this.

"I have a problem and it doesn't just hurt me but the people I care about" I wasn't going to tell everyone my life story just yet, but I wanted to own up to my mistakes, to admit what I was doing was wrong.

After the meeting Leah was waiting outside.

"Hey, you ready to go?" she was referring to me going to court today for the car accident I had caused, the woman in the other car had come out of the hospital but she would have to undergo extensive therapy to get her walking again.

"Not at all, but I don't really have a choice do I?" like the rest of my family she gave me a sympathetic smile and we left the community centre to go back to the flat, change and go to court.

Edward was at the flat when we got in, he had been sitting by his keyboard that we moved back in. When we got in he moved his hand away from the keyboard like it had shocked him, turning around and hopping up.

"Hi guys"

"Hey" we left soon after, I had changed into a dark suit and white shirt and I had even worn a tie at Edward's suggestion. I fiddled with it as we waited outside, feeling hot and like there was a small noose around my neck.

"Stop fiddling with it, Jake" reprimanded Leah.

"I hate ties"

"Suck it up" she replied unsympathetically, but Edward who was sat next to me silently took my hand and gave it a slight squeeze to let me know he was there.

When it was time to go inside, he kept a hold of my hand right up until the moment where he had to sit with everyone else, whereas I was at the front, all eyes on me.

I saw the family of Lara Kearns, I could tell they were here family as they were huddled together and because Lara was there too. Looking over at them, I turned away when Lara looked up, she was bruised and one of her legs was in a cast, a pair of crutches by her side.

The day went by slowly, I was hyper aware of all the stares I was getting from her family. But I know we weren't in court for very long, after the facts were presented and it was made aware that I had been drinking, it didn't take long to get a verdict.

"In light of the circumstances and Mr Black's lack of previous offences, he will receive a driving ban of 12 months and prison sentence of six months. He must also complete The Drink Drive Rehabilitation scheme before he is eligible to get his license back..." I barely hear anything after prison sentence, I didn't resist at all when I was taken away but I looked to Edward and my family who all looked miserable as they watched me go.

* * *

**Edward POV**

"Let's see what we have here" said the doctor, the cast on my arm had been taken off after six weeks and I was told I would probably need physiotherapy for a while to regain full function in my left arm. "All right can you clench your hand for me?" I did with some difficulty and quite a bit of pain.

"Can you bend your arm at all?" I could hardly bend it at all and it sent shooting pains all up my arm. "Okay" he said when he realised how much pain it had caused me, he jotted something down and looked back at me with a polite smile.

"What's the verdict, Doc?" he looked to the x-rays taken of my arm and then back at me.

"As you know you had several severe fractures along your arm and we had to put pins in your arm to help aid the healing process" I remembered just a few minutes before when they pulled out the pins. "Well we will need to go through physiotherapy to build up strength in your arm and restore full movement"

"How long will that take?"

"Anywhere from four to eight weeks" I looked down at my arm and nodded.

"Will I ever get full, er functionality?"

"You could with the physiotherapy"

"I'm a musician will I be able to play again"

"Only time will tell at this point, but many patients I've seen do recover from this" I nodded. "I want to lower your medication dosage and eventually take you off them"

"Okay"

"We will start you on a course of physio as soon as we can and we will schedule another check up, in a few weeks time to see how that all works out for you"

"Thanks"

"Bye Edward"

"Bye Doctor"

Angela met me outside, she had offered to give me a lift as I couldn't really drive. Leah and Jacob's family had agreed to go back to the States, agreeing that Jacob was going to get help and that they needed to go back home.

"All good?"

"Yeah, no more cast" she glanced at my arm and with a smile we were to her car.

"So, how about some lunch? I have a craving for some decent Italian food"

"Sounds good" I settled in and buckled up my belt, using my right hand as my left hand still felt a bit weird as the numbing stuff they'd used on my arm was starting to wear off.

"What's wrong?" she glanced at me and started the engine, pulling out of hospital parking lot and onto the main road.

"Nothing's wrong, Angela"

"There is something bothering you, you're doing the whole silent brooding thing that makes me think you'd be perfect in one of those teen dramas" I scoffed at her and ran a hair through my hair.

"I don't brood"

"Sure, you don't" she said sarcastically with a small smile. "Now tell me what's up Mr Angsty, you know I'll get it out of you sooner or later" I sighed heavily and she sniggered at me.

"What if I can never play again?"

"That won't happen" she replied her voice serious now.

"You don't know that for sure, I can do all sorts of physiotherapy but it may never be the way it was" I sounded very gloomy, it was a prospect that terrified me.

"Neither do you Edward. Don't over think it so much, take it a bit at a time. Do the physio and take your time with it, you will be fine" I leaned my head back with another sigh.

"It's just music a big part of my life, you know? It has been since my mom got me piano lesson as a kid, I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't do it anymore" we came to a stop at a set of lights and she turned her head to look at me.

"I know, don't think that way, have a little more faith and it will be okay"

"I wish I was as optimistic as you Angela" she smiled in response and drove on as the lights changed.

**~X~X~X~**

"It's worse than we thought"

"How much?" I was at the garage where I had taken Jacob's car, I had put it off for a while but when I got the call from the garage I had to do something about it.

"The side is completely wrecked and it's gonna be a nightmare trying to get parts for this car" I remember how he had essentially rebuilt the car from the frame to the engine.

"But can you do it?"

"It depends if the parts are available and this is a pretty big job, we are only a small place" I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. "To be honest it's the time it would take to fix it, labour costs alone would be at least £4,000" an idea occurred to me.

"Leave it"

"What?"

"Could I get the parts myself?"

"I guess you could, do you even know what you're doing?" I shook my head.

"I have no damn clue...but theoretically speaking couldn't I fix the car myself and save a ton on the labour costs?" he looked doubtful.

"Probably, but it would take a while if you were doing it by yourself and you'd need a garage, with the right tools"

"But I could do it?"

"Yeah, maybe"

"Well then thank you but I will not be requiring your services"

**~X~X~X~**

"Stop laughing Leah" she continued to laugh down the phone and it sounded like she was about to pass out.

"I'm sorry but that is too fucking funny. Edward you can't fix Jake's car, you can just about change oil and fill the tank up" she was still laughing as she talked and so it took a while for me to understand what she was saying.

"I can learn"

"Sure you can"

"Thanks Leah, I know where to go for support" I said dryly as she finally stopped laughing.

"Oh, c'mon do you really think you can do it?"

"Yes"

"Well then good luck, I have to go. Talk to you later"

"Bye Leah" hanging up, I turned back to my laptop scrolling down the page I was on. I was looking for some parts but it was proving to be quite difficult, currently I was having no luck at all.

This was going to be fun.

After a while and getting nowhere, I closed the laptop and turned in my seat to glance over at my keyboard. Standing up and going over to it, I sat down and raised my right hand, hovering just above the keys.

I stared at it for a while before lowering my hand and playing one note and going into the first few notes of Fur Elise. Raising my other hand, I stopped for a moment and clenched and unclenched my hand a few times, clenching my jaw as my hand felt stiff and it still hurt a bit. With a sigh, I gave up and looked at my watch realising I had an appointment to make.

**Ten weeks later...**

"Hi there" I greeted Jacob.

"Hey" he replied as we made our way to my car, I had finished my physiotherapy and I had been cleared to drive by my doctor. I noticed that Jacob looked a bit thinner and tired, the entire drive home was done in silence. It was when I opened the door and he looked at my left arm that he said anything.

"Is your arm okay?" I nodded.

"Yeah, it's all healed up" he nodded and we went inside, he went to have a shower whilst I checked my emails. I got one from a company that sold car parts, scanning the message I smiled as they had the part I was looking for. I now had all I needed, I just needed to put it all together.

"What are you smiling about?" Jacob had come out of the shower, he wore a worn green t-shirt and jeans that were baggier on him now.

"Nothing, a funny email from Angela"

"You're weird" was all he said, I shrugged and smiled at him.

"Hey how do you fancy going out for dinner, celebrate you being back home?" he didn't too enthralled by that prospect.

"Can we just stay in?"

"Sure" he breathed out, seeming a little relieved as he sat down on the sofa. Going over to join him, I gave him a sideways glance. "Are you okay?" he looked at me for a moment, before leaning forward and giving me a kiss on the cheek.

"I'm okay" he took my hand and sighed.

"Good"

After a few odd days where Jacob seemed a little spaced out, he really got his act together getting up early and starting a job search and never missing a single AA meeting. He was determined to get his life together I just didn't know where that let me.

"I think I found a job"

"What kind of job?"

"Customer services"

"Fun" was my sarcastic response as I grabbed my messenger bag and slung it over my shoulder.

"It's a job"

"Yeah, but you hate office jobs"

"I can't really afford to be picky can I?"

"I guess not. I've got to go, good luck with the job search"

"Yeah, see you later" I left and got in my car, Jacob still had seven and a half months until he got his license back and he was already well on his way to passing the Drink Drive Rehabilitation Scheme, yet he hadn't once asked about his car.

What also bothered me was that I was still staying with him, I had insisted that now my arm was better he take the bedroom. I had thought this situation would be temporary, but what were we doing now? We lived together, but we weren't together.

I wanted to talk to him about it, but it was never the right time. He had to focus on his issues first and it seemed selfish to distract him from that to air out my insecurities.

More than that when I saw him hunched over the computer applying for jobs or rubbing the sleep from his eyes in the mornings, I wanted nothing more than to kiss him and...

My mind went to dirty places, it had been a while and I was close to losing my mind. Adjusting myself and trying to think about dead puppies or anything but Jacob shirtless, I attempted to act casual as I got to school.

* * *

**Jacob POV**

_Stop thinking about him, stop thinking about him_. I repeated in my head as I sat in the waiting room for a job interview.

After my stint in prison, I was resolute in my desire to never go back to that horrible place ever again. So first I would complete my rehabilitation and get a job, they were my goals and I would get myself sorted.

Unfortunately I often got sidetracked by Edward.

It didn't help that he seemed so unaware, when I saw him making his lesson plans or cooking it was so hot and I wanted him so bad. It was unfair really he was too gorgeous and when he smiled at me my mind went into overload.

I was meant to be focusing, in fact it was part of rehabilitation that you don't start any new relationships. However, they never said anything about picking up where you left off.

"Jacob Black?" mentally shaking myself, I stood up and followed the sectary into the interview room.

**~X~X~X~**

"I got the job" Edward looked up and gave me a smile that was just a little forced.

"That's great"

"No, no it's not" I sighed and dropped onto the couch, he came over and sat next to me.

"What's wrong?"

"It's a shit desk job at shit pay, but I need the money"

"Well, I got an evening job as a tutor to help out a bit more financially. So why don't you hold out a bit for a better job, one you might actually like?" he said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world and it annoyed me a bit.

"I am banned from driving and I'm an alcoholic, who else is going to give me a decent job?"

"You never know"

"Don't be so naive Edward. I'm going to be stuck in a crappy job, that's just how it's gonna be now" he shook his head stubbornly.

"I don't believe that, you found a good job that you liked before"

"Yeah, and I fucked that up"

"So what? You are going to stay in a crap office job, just like you were before when you got that job in sales?"

"Yes, because I need the money. I don't have anything to fall back on otherwise!"

"I can help you" I shook my head and stood up, starting to pace.

"I can't do that"

"Why not?"

"Because, I can't just depend on you for everything, you've done enough!" I shouted at him and his face fell.

"I've done enough?"

"What...I mean is that you, you found me helped me realise how much of an idiot I was being. You have done too much for me already"

"So? That's no reason to stay stuck in a dead end job!"

"You are such a hypocrite" he was struck speechless for a few moments.

"What?"

"I see you, you always look at the keyboard but you avoid it like the plague. Your hand has healed up but you still avoid the thing that I know you love. You may be a brilliant teacher, but I still think you miss it"

"Miss what?"

"Miss being on tour, miss that thrill you got from performing. You had everything you wanted but you came back to your job that you don't like anymore" he stood up and I stopped pacing, looking at him as he stood in front of me.

"You're wrong" he said.

"You're lying"

"So are you"

"I can't go back to my old job"

"Yes you can, you loved it" he clenched his jaw and I took a step back.

"I'm taking the customer services job"

"Fine" he said with a huff, walking away from me and to the bathroom.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**This was a bit slow but it needed to happen, so what do you think is next for our boys?**

**Thank you for reading.**


	15. Fix You

**Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own Twilight or any of the characters.**

**Author's Note:**

**I am soooooooo sorry for the late update, I am so bad about updating, but this chapter really got me and I wanted to do it justice and potentially fuck it up.**

**Here it is finally, enjoy.**

* * *

**Chapter XV – Fix You**

**Jacob POV**

After a while Edward came out of the bathroom, but he grabbed his jacket and wordlessly left.

Cooling off whilst he was out, I felt like a major ass after what I had said to him, it hadn't been fair at all.

I debated calling him but decided against it when I realised he left for a reason. Something we had in common was that at times we could be very stubborn and in Edward's case he brooded. I knew that once he too had gotten over it he would come back to the flat or call me. Then I could talk to him and apologize.

Sitting by the window, I chained smoked nearly half a pack of cigarettes before he came back.

"Hey" I supplied after a strained moment of silence between the two of us, stubbing out a cigarette and standing up.

"Hey...I want to show you something"

"Okay" I said giving up trying to figure him out in only a few seconds of his blank gaze.

"Get your coat then" we left the apartment and got into his Volvo, he drove in silence and glancing at him every so often, I stayed quiet until we reached our destination. He promptly killed the engine and got out, walking down the road and not stopping to see if I was following him, but he did walk slowly so it didn't take long to catch up to him.

We got to a garage which was closed, yet Edward had the key to the door. Letting us in he shut the door behind us, flicking the lights on and walking over to one end of the garage where I saw my Rabbit.

"Edward?" he walked over to the car then turned to look at me, his expression softening somewhat.

"Do remember when you told me about living in Forks when you were a kid?" I nodded and stepped closer tentatively, taking in what he said as well as looking at ha damage to my car. "You told me you found this car about to get scrapped, but you salvaged it and most of the parts to rebuild it all when you were barely fifteen.

You love this car so much you had it shipped all the way here. It's not just this car, you love what you do and take pride your work...and since when was that not enough?"

"I do love this car, but I need the money _now_ Edward. I have debts to pay off"

"Then I can help you. I'll work more hours and you can look for a better job, not one you'll hate for the rest of your life!" I could see he was trying to help me and it made me feel like more of a jerk for arguing with him earlier.

"I'm an alcoholic who got fired and who now has a record, no one else is going to give a job half as good as Aston Martin" I shook my head, looking back at him and sighing heavily.

"You could try, like I said I _could_ help" he insisted and moved closer to me.

"Edward you've done _enough_, _okay_?" my voice raised and I didn't mean to sound so sharp, I just wanted to get my point across to him.

"Done _enough_, what is that supposed to mean?" his voice was hard and I regretting saying it like that.

"What I mean is that you...you came back for me, you paid some of my bills and you are still here despite how much I fucked up. I swear sometimes you are _only_ thing stopping me from not just forgetting about the world and crawling into a hole with a bottle. I can't even _start_ to try and make things right and you _keep_ trying to help me" he looked confused.

"I'd do anything for _you_" he said and I could tell he meant every word.

"I would too, in a heartbeat. But I can't rely on you to always be there to pick me up, even though you would. I need to deal with my _own_ problems and that starts with getting sober and staying that way, along with getting a job" I took a step closer about to reach out for him but stopping myself and letting my arm fall down to my side. "Do you understand?"

"Yes...I'm sorry"

"It's not your fault I'm a little messed up" I said aiming for humour but just sounding self depreciating, but he frowned and he looked broody. Oh shit.

"But it is" he said in voice that sounded broken.

"No it's not" he shook his head and looked even gloomier as he looked down.

"If I had realised sooner, or not left, or come back before you got into hospital" I went up to him and grabbed him by the shoulders and he looked at me with such a hurt expression. "It is my fault"

"I'm not going to play the blame game with you, Edward. I appreciate you trying to help but I don't want you to feel you have to because you feel guilty or something" he shook his head.

"That's not it"

"Good" we lapsed into silence and I glanced at the car.

"I went to go it the morning the police came round" it made sense now. "I was going to tell you about it once I got it fixed up but then I thought maybe your first project could help you out a bit"

"I don't want it"

"What?"

"I did love this car, but I can't look at it without remembering why it's like this" he looked sympathetic and I turned away from the car. I swallowed around a lump in my throat as I recalled the blood running down Edward's forehead and the state Lara Kearns had been in.

Fuck, I really wanted a drink.

"Jake..."

"Can we go outside?" I said interrupting him, he looked at me steadily glancing to the car for a moment before nodding.

"Of course" I left first, lighting up as he closed the door and locked it up, feeling only slightly relieved as I took a deep puff. He silently walked over to me and put his hands in his pockets as he stood beside me, looking ahead and remaining very still and quiet.

"How come you have the keys to this place?"

"I'm friends with the owner's brother, he owes me a favour" he smiled and blowing out a ring of smoke, I half turned my head to glance at him.

"What did you do?"

"I set up Ben Cheney, the science teacher, with Angela Webster. You've met her, she's the brunette English teacher who started around the same time as me" I nodded and we lapsed back into silence until I flicked my cigarette butt onto the ground.

"So what do want to do with the car?"

"I don't want it, get rid of it sell it for parts if you can. I don't care"

"I still think it could be good for you" I shook my head and got out another cigarette. "Then I'm gonna be honest with you, I'm going to keep it and if you won't fix it then I'll find a way to do it myself. Maybe you need to remember" he near whispered the last part but I heard it loud and clear.

"What do you mean?" he kept his hands in his pockets and looked at me.

"Going to AA is good for you, but maybe you can't just forget about what happened"

"I'll never forget"

"You shouldn't, maybe I'm wrong but that accident triggered something. It was the push you needed to admit you have a problem and need help" I lit another cigarette and took a deep breath, only taking a few puffs before tossing it to the grounds and turning away from the garage.

"Can we go?"

"If that's what you want" looking at the ground, I felt Edward's stare on me.

"Do what you want with the car, just don't involve me...I'm going to take the job and I need to you to understand why" we got to the car and I looked at him, he nodded silently encouraging me to continue. "When you left, I pretty much fell apart, I think I depended on you so much even before we got together. So I need to be able to be independent, which starts with getting a job and paying my way as well as the meetings"

"What does that mean for us?"

"I love you and I do want to be with you, but I don't think now is a good time for us" I took in a deep breath and breathed out slowly, seeing the look of pain on his face despite how he tried to hide it. "For now I need to focus on work and getting clean then I can focus on relationships"

"I...understand" he said after a moment, nodding briefly and looking at me. "Then I should find another place to stay"

"You don't have to do that"

"You need your own space, I respect that...really" he added to try and convince me. "We can do this and we can go back to being friends for now if that's what you want"

No it wasn't, but for now maybe that was the best.

"Sure, I'll help you find another flat"

"Thanks" we smiled at each other, before getting into the car and driving back to the apartment. When we got to the apartment, Charlie raised his head to glance at us, his ears raised and with a grunt he lay down again and his little doggy snoring could soon be heard.

He would be such a bad guard dog, he could sleep through anything.

"I'm sorry" I blurted out as we got to the apartment after a prolonged silence, he looked confused and shot me a quick glance.

"What for?"

"Everything that happened between us"

"I'm not" he gave me a smile and turned to face me. "We made a lot of mistakes, but if we never had that first kiss I'd probably be in a miserable marriage with someone I didn't love and being someone I wasn't. I also never would have gotten the chance to go on tour if I never followed you here"

"You left the tour though" he nodded and we sat on the sofa, turned to face each other as we talked.

"Yes, it was the right thing to do" he said matter of factly.

"Don't you miss it?"

"...No"

"Really?" he ran a hand through his hair and sighed, still looking at me.

"For a while it was exhilarating being on stage, even though I missed you, a lot"

"What changed?"

"Each night I had one or two songs so I wasn't on stage for long. But when I was behind the stage it was all about looks, clothes and interviews" she shook his head, looking down at his hands in his lap. "To cut a long story short, it was all fake and I didn't want that"

"Will you do something for me?" I asked as I saw his eyes wander over to his guitar and keyboard.

"Anything" he said without hesitation, looking back to me with such sincerity that made me melt a little, damn now I really wanted to kiss him.

"Play for me" the smile slipped from his lips and he looked dismayed.

"Jake...I'm, I'm scared" he admitted and I leaned forward and took his hand. "I haven't played since...and I don't know if I can, not like I could before"

"I know, but you love music and you can't steal the odd glance at it like it might bite you. If you are a little rusty, you will get better. But you won't know till you try" he pressed his lips together and I moved closer squeezing his hand and getting him to look at me. "If you really don't want to, I won't force you but I think you miss it more than you let on"

"I don't miss performing"

"I know, you miss playing" the way he looked at me, I knew I was right. "Ed, you forget...I know you just as well you know me. You can't fool me" I said the last part with a bit of humour, trying to coax a less mournful look from him. He gave me the tiniest smile, but it was a smile.

"Okay" he said and he stood and went to the keyboard, I pulled over the footstool as he looked down but listened until I was settled. I sat in a position to the side of him so I could see his face, he raised his hands gradually until they were hovering above the keyboard.

He flicked it on and pressed down a white key with his right index finger experimentally, I watched as his lips pressed together tine enough to form a thin hard line, his arms and whole body tense.

Taking a deep breath he closed his eyes for a moment as he slowly breathed out, his jaw loosening up a fraction as he opened his eyes. Lowering his hands he tentatively played a few opening notes and I realised he was playing Claire De Lune, as the song sped up he had some difficulty.

He stumbled through but tripped over a few notes with his left hand and his jaw clenched more, he had lost his confidence and he botched another note he gave up. Abruptly pulling his hands away he stood quickly and took a few steps away.

"Ed..." he shook his head and I stopped. "I'm sorry for pushing you" he shook his head again, slower this time.

"It's okay" his gruff tone said otherwise, but he turned and mumbled something to me. "It's late and I have an early start tomorrow"

"Goodnight" he nodded and went to the bathroom and I got out the blanket and pillows for the sofa, I was grabbing a black t-shirt and navy shorts to sleep in when Edward came out of the bathroom and into the bedroom.

"Hey" he said, running a hand through his hair and glancing at me looking a bit calmer. "I'm sorry about that I get too wound up"

"It's okay"

"No it's not, I don't mean to get angry at you...I'm just frustrated at myself"

"I get it, I do" I put a hand on his shoulder and he gave me a small smile.

"I glad I have you" in a way we were both a little messed up. Edward had mended his broken relationship with his father only to have this happen to him, music was a bit part of him and he was frustrated to find he couldn't play as well. I didn't want think too hard about how crushed he would be if he couldn't play.

Then there was me with my drinking and guilty conscience. I think I needed Edward to keep me from going back to drinking just as much as Edward needed me from becoming one of those brooding serious types.

"You always have me" the smile was now relieved and he sighed, relaxing more and he seemed less depressed. Yes, we needed each other.

"You have me too" he said and I realised we were standing very close, I was always hyper aware of where Edward was and unconsciously we had been leaning into each other.

"I know" he said not in a smug way but more comforted by this, still smiling and seemingly unaware or ignoring how close we were.

"I'm going to get changed" I drew his attention to my change of clothes and he nodded but made no attempt to move away. "Goodnight" I took a step to the side and he turned his head to look at me, giving me an odd look before dropping his gaze and stepping back.

* * *

**Edward POV**

Did he know how sexy he was?

It was so tempting to just lean over and kiss him, it would be heaven just to feel his lips against mine again. I knew exactly what would happen if I kissed him.

First he would be stunned, but only for a second or two then he would kiss me back tentatively at first and his ands would find their way to my hair. I know that he loved playing with my hair, it was messy enough and he often called it 'sex hair' smiling as he said that.

His lips would part as he let out a moan into my mouth and I would let my hands wander, down his back slowly pulling his closer so that our bodies were pressed together, hardly an inch of space between us.

The kisses would be become heated and he would kiss me harder or nibble my lip as he took control. I had to say when Jacob took over and was dominate it was one hell of a turn on.

But I was getting carried away, Jacob went to change and leaving the door open I tugged off my shirt and jeans, chucking them into the laundry hamper. Pulling on a pair of grey bottoms and an old white band tee, I went out seeing Jacob by the couch.

He looked up and I smiled, passing by him as he unfolded the blanket and going into the kitchen to get a glass of water. The kitchen door swung open as I walked in and pouring the water, I put the jug back in the fridge and for a moment I looked through the door at Jacob.

He had his back to me and as I watched him, he turned partly as his phone rang. Picking up his phone, I saw the bottom of his tribal wolf on his left shoulder. Jacob had gotten the tattoo when I was gone, it was one night when he had gone out drinking, he woke up with the tattoo but quite liked it.

He told me about the stories his father used to tell him about his ancestors, when he still lived in Forks, on the reservation. So the wolf on his arm seemed oddly fitting and it definitely suited him, alpha male and all.

"You know, I can tell you're staring at me" he said startling me as he put the phone down and turned to look at me. "Perv" he said with a smirk, I walked back into the living room putting the glass down on the coffee table.

"I was admiring your tattoo" he raised an eyebrow in disbelieve and damn if I didn't want to kiss him that little bit more.

"Sure about that?" I smiled and took a step forward, treading on a very fine line between taking it slow and making a move.

"No" his smiled wavered as he saw how close I was and I looked at him, I wanted to kiss him so bad, just once and that would be enough for now. But, I couldn't do that. He needed to focus on getting sober and staying that way.

So clearing my throat, I stepped back and saw the look on his face that looked a lot like disappointment.

"Edward?"

"Yeah...um" I scratched the back of my neck as I quickly looked down at the floor. "Goodnight" I picked up the glass and shot him another glance as I put some more space between us.

"Goodnight" he said and I went back to the bedroom.

I put the glass down by the bed and went to quickly brush my teeth, catching a glimpse of Jacob on the couch as I went back to the bedroom. I sat down on the edge of the bed and shook my head, sighing heavily before pushing the covers aside and about to get into bed when Jacob walked to the door.

"What's up Jake?" I asked in confusion, his jaw was set as he walked and knelt down.

"Edward" he breathed out before putting his hands on my cheeks and shocking me by kissing me.

At first I thought I should break off the kiss, but I found myself kissing him back. It had been a while and the kiss was anything but gentle and sweet, teeth clashed and tongues met and I was pushed onto my back. The kisses were rougher and I threw caution to the wind, my hands going to his waist and inching under his shirt, running my hands up his torso and feeling each well defined muscle.

"Jake" I half groaned against his mouth as he lowered his hips and grinded against me.

I kissed him back only breaking off the kiss so he could pull off my shirt, as he threw it behind him somewhere, I pressed my lips more firmly against his. Our breathing was ragged and the previous silence of the apartment was now filled with our mutual groans and moans as lips and hands slid across skin.

* * *

**Jacob POV**

It consumed me. The want and the need to be close to Edward, to kiss him again and again, to keep touching him and give him everything I had until there was nothing left.

I loved this man and I felt at home in his arms.

The stupid mistakes we had made were inconsequential because this right here felt right. We worked together and I didn't want anyone else, I couldn't even think about anyone else.

Everything about him consumed my senses, the scent of musk that was his cologne and the underlying scent of lemon from his shower gel. The feel of his lean body under my hands, the muscles that flexed as he ran his hands over my back and leaned in closer, moaning my name in my ear.

Oh...the sound of his moans, the feel of his body against mine was almost enough to undo me, but the sounds of his moans and the way he said my name that was what pushed me closer to the edge.

Ghosting my lips over his jaw, kissing every bit of skin revealed to me when his shirt was discarded, going lower and exploring every little dip and freckle on his torso. I slid down his body and glanced up at him, his jaw was tense and his eyes were closed yet his mouth was half open, my name falling from his lips over and over.

"Jake...oh...Jake, oh god" my hands on his waist, my lips curled into a smile I hooked my fingers under the waistband of his bottoms when his eyes flew open. "Jake" it was less of a moan and more of a warning.

"What?" I said kissing his left hip and then lifting my head, his jaw was even tenser and his hands curled into fists as he sat up. I leaned back as he looked down for a moment, unclenching a fist to run a hand through his hair that was messed up largely by me.

"As much as I would _love_ to continue and as much as I _really_ wished I didn't stop you, we shouldn't do this" I sighed and he unclenched his hands, clasping them in front of them.

"Because it would be a mistake?"

"Because it would be too soon" he said with a shake of his head, leaning forward and taking one of my hands. "You've barely started going to AA meetings, it would be amazing but you have goals to reach and adding sex into the equation with our history would complicate things"

"Damn, I really wish you weren't right" he gave me a sad smile and almost reluctantly let go of my hand.

"So do I, because I really want to kiss you again. It's been all I could think of" we had subconsciously leaned in and he tentatively raised a hand to cup my cheek, tilting his head as he looked at me.

"Me too" he was close, too close to really think straight. Still looking at me with a mixture of longing, want and uncertainty he sighed leaning his forehead again mine and moving his hand to the back of my neck.

"Being here with you is like the sweetest kind of torture" he pulled away and I looked at him in confusion, he gave me the smallest smile and I furrowed my brows at him.

"I don't get you sometimes, Edward Cullen. I've known you for years and you seem to always know what I'm thinking, but you can be a closed book to me a lot of the time"

"What I meant is...I want to be with you so much, like I remember and yet it is driving me mad because I can't really touch you the way I want to" his hand rested on my knee, his head down as he watched his hand on my knee, his pale skin against my russet skin. "One of needs to be the careful one"

"And it has to be you" I replied in understanding.

"Unfortunately, yes"

"So...no sex?" I said, unable to keep the disappointment out of my voice.

"No...for now, we take it slow and start over. I'll find another place to live and sort out our own issues first"

"Okay" I said with a sigh before getting off the bed, Edward watching me as he too stood up. "Goodnight Edward"

"Goodnight Jacob" I walked out and dropped my shoulders but smiled. "Jacob!" I was barely a step away from the bedroom, when he called out my name I turned and he was standing by the door, still shirtless.

"What is it?" he closed the distance between us, grabbing me and giving me one long, breathtaking kiss.

"Just one more kiss, to keep me sane...or drive me further into madness" he whispered against my lips.

"And what about my sanity?"

"Gone...the moment you let me back in" he said jokingly, pulling back to look at me.

"True" I laughed at him and he smiled.

"Goodnight"

"Goodnight...tease" I added under my breath when he turned away and went back to the bedroom.

Going to the sofa and looking down at my hard on, I knew it was going to be impossible to sleep now. At least not without seeing Edward in my dreams and all of the dirty things I wanted to do.

I groaned out and attempted to get comfy on the couch, glancing to the bedroom door and shaking my head. "Damn you, Edward"

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**So...?**

**Thank you for reading, please let me know what you think and until next time, ciao!**


	16. Do You Know Where You're Going?

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters.**

* * *

**Chapter XVI – Do You Know Where You're Going?...I Don't Know Where I've Been**

**Edward POV**

Padding into the living room barefooted, I saw the rise and fall of Jacob's chest as he slept on the couch. Jacob had a late start but I still had to be at the school for eight o'clock, making my way past him as quietly as I could, the floor board creaked as I stepped forward.

I stopped moving as Jacob stirred and turned in his sleep, I could now see his face and the adorable half smile he wore. Watching him for a moment, his lips parted and he muttered something in his sleep, I wasn't close enough to hear it properly but I risked a step forward as he repeated it.

"Ed...Edward" he spoke softly in his sleep like he was trying to find me and I couldn't help but smile. Taking a few more steps forwards, I went round the couch instead of heading to the kitchen, crouching in front of him so I was only a few inches away from his face. He looked very peaceful, not at all like a man battling with alcoholism or like someone who had been in a coma, but that had been a few months ago.

He looked younger with a lot of the stress gone from his face, I didn't think he realised it but he frowned a lot when he was awake, it made him look older. Additionally, he had frown lines faintly etched around his mouth and forehead, relaxed as he was at that moment most of the small lines were smoothed out but I remembered that a lot of those lines hadn't been there when I left for the tour.

"Edward" he said again, in that searching way again.

"Jake" I replied in a low voice, he smiled and one of his hands reached out towards me and I lifted my own hand. I brushed my fingertips against his hand ever so lightly but he smiled wider and sighed contently.

For some reason I remembered the time I first met him, when he had gotten himself into a fight with two other guys at college.

_The jock with a blond buzz cut swung for the black haired kid that was stood in front of him and the other jock, the three of them stood in a triangle formation before the blond guy lunged. The dark haired guy side stepped the blow and responded with a punch to his torso which had him doubling over._

_With a fierce snarl at the jock, he kicked out at one of his legs which sent him falling forwards but the second guy took him by surprise when he was turned away, delivering a blow to his jaw which had his staggering back. He took advantage of this and punched him in the shoulder, he fell onto his back and the jock helped his friend up._

"_Aw...did you get a bruise, maybe your friend here will kiss it better?" taunted the dark haired russet skinned boy, getting to his feet and looking almost feral._

"_Shut your mouth faggot" spat out the first jock, his expression turned fiercer and with a sound that sounded a lot like a growl he jumped on the jock before either could see it coming. They landed on the floor, the dark haired boy on top of the jock, the feral snarl never left his face as he punched the jock until he was hauled off by the other jock and faculty members, alerted by the shouts of e boys and t crowd watching the encounter._

_When pulled away the dark haired boy continued to thrash out at those restraining him, the jock was helped to his feet more gently, blood covering most of his face. The jocks looked almost scared of the boy they had fought, even though he wasn't much bigger than either of them._

"_Jacob Black" scolded a woman in her early fifties, who had just arrived when the boys were being separated, she had pale blond hair streaked through with silver at the temples where she had it scraped back in a severe bun._

"_They started it" he contested, shaking off the hands of the two faculty members who had restrained him. He narrowed his eyes at the jocks as they walked away, probably to the nurse's office, a snub nosed male lecturer trailing after them._

"_Yet again I find you in the middle of a fight, I'm giving you a final warning Mr Black another disruption and I shall have to take more extreme measures" he scowled at her but said nothing, the crowd had cleared by now and he turned back to the woman in front him._

"_Okay" she nodded her lips pressed into a thin disapproving line._

"_Remember this warning" he turned away. "and go to the nurse's office" she added, before turning and walking away in the direction she had come from. The crowd had completely vanished now and as he looked up he saw me, wiping away the blood from his hands on the front of his jeans he scowled._

"_What you looking at?" he snarled defensively._

"_Nothing, but you're kind of in my way" he raised an eyebrow and turned around he was blocking the entrance to the music room. It was a room that for the most part was largely empty in the evenings, it was an old room and most favoured the newer music suites on the other side of the building._

"_You're a music student?" I nodded and looked pointedly at the door, he glanced back at it in understanding and let me past by. I pushed the door open and let the door swing closed as I made a bee line for the ancient piano by the bank of windows, not bothering to flick on the lights._

_I didn't hear the door close behind me and glancing up I saw the boy, Jacob, standing in the door frame leaning against it so it stayed propped open._

"_You really should get that looked at" I tilted my head as I looked at him, his knuckles were still bloody not all of it the jock's he had beaten up, plus he had a bruise forming on his jaw._

"_I've had worse" he said with a shrug. "You should see the other guy" I sniggered and he laughed at his joke, making me laugh properly._

"_I heard what that guy said to you earlier" I said after we stopped laughing, his expression instantly turned steely the easy smile vanishing._

"_Really?"_

"_Yeah, guys like them are narrow minded bigots I should know one of the was my cousin" he raised an eyebrow._

"_Your cousin?"_

"_Jon Platt the one with the brown hair and blank expression, from my mom's side" me and my cousin very rarely interacted, it was by chance we applied and got accepted to the same school. We had very little in common, he was the stereotypical jock and I was the one more interested in reading and music._

"_Any chance he got dropped on his head as a baby?" I shrugged._

"_I heard my aunt drank a bit while pregnant with him"_

"_Explains the brain damaged blank stare" we laughed and he took a few steps into the room. "I'm Jacob Black"_

"_Edward Cullen"_

"_Why does that name sound familiar?" I winced, this was a new start I didn't want a repeat of high school._

"_I don't know" Jacob just shrugged, unconcerned and I relaxed a fraction._

"_You don't have any other douche bag cousins or siblings do you?" I shook my head._

"_No, I have an older brother but he's alright"_

"_Lucky you, I have two older sisters. I swear girls are the worse sometimes, they think they know everything and are incredibly annoying" I laughed again, how could he go from angry to funny so quickly?_

"_I think that is just older siblings in general"_

"_Hmm, possibly"_

I smiled at the memory looking at my Jacob as he slept on and moving my hand away, leaning forward to press a soft kiss to his lips before straightening up. He frowned in his sleep looking a bit dismayed, as I moved away, I resisted the urge to chuckle at him and headed to the kitchen to get breakfast.

Then I filled Charlie's bowl as the dog, opened his eyes and yawned, he spotted me and the food wasting little time in trotting over, he barely glanced at me.

"Yeah, I'm only the guy that feeds you" he grunted and continued to eat. "Stupid dog" I muttered under my breath.

Trying to be as quiet as possible, I replayed last night's events in my mind more specifically the intense make out session. God, how much I had wanted to just have Jacob, preferably naked and underneath on the bed.

But, no we had to be sensible and take our time we couldn't rush into a relationship again. We had plenty of time.

Despite attempting to be the responsible one, as I quickly ate some toast and OJ I found myself unable to think of anyone else but Jacob, unable to think of anything else but what I wanted to do to him.

I really was going to drive myself mad, damn it.

**~X~X~X~**

Throwing myself into work, I was sufficiently distracted and enjoyed being back I had missed being back in a classroom, I hadn't realized that until my first class back.

During my lunch break I didn't have a lot to distract me though, going to the staff room I got a cup of coffee and was about to read for a bit when I saw today's newspaper on one of the chairs. Picking it up, I flicked through and found house listings, surveying them quickly I saw that there were quite a few that would be ideal for me. What are the odds?

"What are you smiling at?" peering over the paper, Angela sat in front of me giving me a curious look.

"A fortuitous occurrence" I replied enigmatically, giving her a small smile that only intensified her curious expression. "House listings" I added and her expression changed to that of understanding as she nodded but then looked curious once more.

"I thought you were living back at your old apartment with Jacob"

"I was, but that living arrangement isn't working out" she looked dismayed, she was sweet she was dismayed for him.

"Are you two...are you okay?" she said sympathetically, with a sad look at me.

"Ang, we're fine. We talked and it's just better if we don't live together, have our own space and take it slow"

"So are you two together?"

"No, not really. But we aren't not together, does that make any sense?"

"Not in the slightest, but whatever works for you I guess...do you need help moving out?" I gestured to the paper in my lap, specifically the listings page.

"First, I need to find a place to move _into_" she let out a chuckle and nodded, moving to sit beside me and glance at the listings.

"I can help with that"

"Thanks Ang"

"Any time, Edward" she said waving off my thanks not unkindly.

"So, how is Ben?" mentioning the name, she immediately flushed deep red and lowered her head, pushing up her glasses partly to hide her face.

"Fine"

"Just fine? I saw him the other day at the garage and he couldn't stop talking about you" I smiled as her blush receded a bit and she grinned, looking back at me.

"Really, what did he say?"

"I believe the words; beautiful, intelligent and amazing were used" she smiled happily at that and with a renewed vigor, she took the paper from me and snagged a nearby pen. She circled the possible properties and it almost looked she was floating as she left the staff room when our break was over, as we got to the door we saw Ben.

"Angela" he called out and her blush returned but she waited for him to walk over to her.

"Hi Ben"

"Hey" he wore a grin equally goofy as hers, with a sigh I walked on and left them to it, hearing Angela's laugh as I got to my classroom.

Going through the rest of my lessons, I was about to leave when a familiar face appeared at my door.

"Hello Edward"

"Hi Jean" she walked in, wearing a neat grey suit and smiling politely at me. When I d come back from the tour, Jean had come t0o talk to me one day and tried to convince me to go back but as it was whilst Jacob was in hospital, it wasn't a possibility.

"So how are you finding being back at your old teaching post?"

"It's good to be back"

"Is it for good?" I knew what she meant and I averted my gaze, swinging my messenger bag over one shoulder as I thought about her question.

"It could be" I raised my head and she lifted an eyebrow, crossing her arms over her chest slowly.

"You were brilliant on tour you know" I pressed my lips together. "You could have gotten really big, sold loads of albums" what came to mind whilst she talked was the times Tanya had me wear all of those designer labels, coach me on what to say in interviews, what to play and of course to pretend I was straight.

"That would have been great but I guess I wasn't willing to change who I am. Plus there are more important things" _like Jacob._

"Maybe, but you'll never get another chance like this"

"I know and I'm fine with that" she looked like she didn't believe me, but I wasn't concerned with trying to convince her that I had made the right choice.

"Well, you told me that you couldn't leave Jacob but now he is out of hospital do you still want to be a teacher?"

"Yes" there was an amused twitch of her mouth that told me she wasn't buying it, uncrossing her arms she lifted her chin a bit as she looked at me. "Your songs were good and I have an offer for you"

"I don't want to hear it"

"Hear me out and then make a decision" she said completely unfazed by my response, I closed my mouth and she continued talking. "I'm always looking for songwriters, you don't have to change anything just keep writing and we have someone else on stage singing it"

"Song writing?" she nodded and I thought about it, I wouldn't have to be groomed with so much hair gel and dressed. Nor would I have to sit through interviews, smiling and giving the right answers all the time. I could focus on the music and nothing else.

There was only one issue with that...I wasn't really sure I could play like before. How could I compose if I couldn't play well enough?

"I don't know" I replied uncertainly.

"Think about it, you have my number. You could still be a teacher if that is what you want, it would be flexible you could write where ever you want and just come into the studio to record demos. I'll give you a while to think about it because I know you have talent, but I won't wait forever Edward" she half turned away from me.

"I'll think about it"

"Okay, bye" she already started walking away from me.

"Bye"

* * *

**Jacob POV**

Going to the apartment door, I was about to put my key in the lock when I heard what sounded like Edward's keyboard. It was slow at first the beginning notes sounding tentative and I leaned forward to listen.

I could see him as if he was right in front of me, his head bent down and his eyes half closed so he could see what he was doing but was still in his own world.

Then I heard him start to sing.

_There was a time, I used to look into my father's eyes_

_In a happy home, I was a king I had a gold throne_

He played slowly, carefully and his voice was low almost too quiet for me too hear.

_Those days are gone, now the memories are on the wall_

_I hear the sounds from the places where I was born_

There were a few notes that he stumbled over and I could hear his frustration, he hit the keys hard and he sped up his playing only causing him to trip over more notes.

_Up on the hill across the blue lake,_

_That's where I had my first heart break_

That was when he made another mistake and stopped playing, it was abrupt and there was just silence. I waited a few moments before unlocking the door, giving him a few seconds to compose himself.

When I walked in, he was standing by the sofa with his back to his keyboard and guitar. He snapped his head up to look at me as I walked in, he looked angry but he slapped on a tight smile for me as I closed the door.

"Hey Jake"

"Hey" I shrugged of my jacket and he lowered his head and went to the bathroom.

I didn't mention hearing him play, when he came back I asked him about work and we chatted casually about everything but was on our minds.

He was still concerned but he was rushing it, assuming he could just pick up where he left off so to speak. He was impatient, kind of like me in a way.

"I saw Jean today" he said all of a sudden, after dinner, I had taking the plates and so at the time had my back to him. Putting them in the sink, I turned to face him, curious as to what she wanted.

"Really, she say anything?" he knew what I meant, anything about the tour he left behind and the mess of a lawsuit he had gotten tangled in subsequently.

"She had an offer for me" he looked almost impassive but he kept running his hands through his hair, a sign of his inner turmoil.

"What kind of offer?" I sat down and for a moment he stared off into space, then turned to look at me as if he just remembered I was there.

"To be a song writer, you know, write the songs but have someone else perform them and I can still teach if I want"

"Is that what you want? Or would you rather perform your songs yourself?" he considered this.

"I missed teaching and I love music, I don't want to have to choose between them...or you" he added in a low voice, I placed a hand on his on the table, stopping him from mussing up his hair even more.

"I am not going anywhere, but if you want to go back to performing I don't want to be in your way. I was selfish last time in not wanting you to go and giving you an ultimatum, it wasn't really fair to either of us"

"I still can't play well"

"You broke your hand, it's going to take some time, be patient" he nodded but it was a bit stiff and forced.

"I guess your right" he admitted leaning back and disentangling his hand from mine, to place them both at his temples and sight. "Ok, well, I'm making a casserole it's in the oven and should be ready in half an hour"

"Okay, I'm gonna get washed and changed. I hate this damn suit" I loosened the tie and got a small smile from him, which I returned with a smile of my own as I stood up.

When I walked back in, he was by the stove in the kitchen plating up food for us. We sat down and despite his warning, I spooned a big mouthful of the steaming casserole into my mouth and nearly burnt my tongue.

"I told you" he said with a smirk sliding a glass of water across the table to me.

"Worth it, I'm gonna miss your food when you go" the smirk flickered a bit but he nodded.

"Angela's helping me find a place near to work. We're going to go look at a few places on my Wednesday evening off"

"That's great, how is Angela? Are her and Ben, alright?"

"Yeah, they are good. They are moving in together actually, they are pretty happy together" I nodded.

"I'm happy for them"

We ate in silence but wasn't awkward, we ate and went to sleep despite very much wanting to kiss him again. I pressed my lips together after saying goodnight, trying not to check him out as he walked away.

I had to get some sleep as I had another AA meeting in morning, still I stared at the ceiling for another hour thinking about the man in the other room before drifting off to sleep.

**~X~X~X~**

"Hello?"

"Hey Jake" wedging the phone in between my shoulder and ear, I shut the fridge and poured milk into my coffee.

"Leah, isn't it about one thirty in the morning there?"

"It's not that late" she replied dismissively. "I hear you are getting your licence back?"

"Yeah, I'm retaking my driving test this weekend. But I assume you didn't call me in the wee hours of thee morning just to ask me about my driver's licence?" sitting at the table, I took a bite out a slice of toast as I waited for an answer from Leah.

"Maybe I wanted to see how been sober is going?" I rolled my eyes, which landed on a chunk of Edward's guitar resting against the keyboard, visible through the half open kitchen door.

"There it is, Leah Clearwater actually cares"

"Shut up" she said but I could hear the smile in her voice. "So how is it going?"

"I'm attending all of the meetings and so far still sober, for almost three months if you count my stint in jail"

"That's good...and Edward? How is he?" I sighed and looked away from the door.

"He's fine and he's moving out?"

"What, I thought you were working through it?" someone seemed a lot more interested than they acted.

"Yes, that's why he is moving out" there was a brief pause and I smiled at having been able to render Leah speechless, even if it was just momentarily.

"I don't follow"

"It's...difficult living together" she made a snort and I could picture her expression, an eyebrow raised and her lips half tilted in a haughty smirk like she knew something I didn't.

"You mean you're horny for Edward?"

"Leah" I chastised.

"Oh, it is true! You are hot for Eddie, well it's not surprising but what happened, did you do something like rape him?"

"Leah!"

"What? He's good looking and I know for a fact you haven't been laid in a while unless you lied about that ex co-worker of yours?" Demetri, grinding my teeth I shook my head but she couldn't see me.

"We did kiss, I may have initiated it but he stopped it before we..."

"Had wild, passionate sex?" she assumed.

"You could say that" I replied drily. "He said it would be too soon, he was right, but..."

"You were disappointed and really wanted some man on man loving?" I rolled my eyes and tried not to laugh, I missed Leah actually talking to her in person and the way she could always make me laugh.

"You could say that"

"Well, are you or aren't you together?"

"We are sort of playing it by ear, starting over and taking it slow"

"Aw, sounds like you have wait a little longer to get laid" I rolled my eyes again and chuckled, glancing at the time on my watch.

"You may be right, about that"

"Well you could always just take care of yourself, you know...wank off, as the British say, the one hand dance-"

"Please stop"

"Damn, I had a whole list" I believed her and I did not want to hear the other phrases that no doubt would be worse and get more vulgar. She laughed and I found myself laughing with her.

"Oh, I miss you Leah but I have to go"

"I miss you too, you know I have some more vacation days left over?" I stood and put my plate and mug in the sink.

"That's not fair to you, how about this...I promise that when I am no longer broke and have some time off I will visit you instead"

"Okay, make sure you bring Edward with you I miss his sullen face. Don't tell him I said that though" she added at the end and I chuckled at her.

"Sure, sure. Bye Leah"

"Later Jake"

Getting the bus, I got to my meeting and took my seat after dismissing the sludge like coffee, in favour of a glass of lukewarm water. Everyone settle in and the counsellor introduced herself and everyone else as we had a newbie.

This was a different group than the one before my 'incident', the counsellor was a wiry pale gun his mid forties, who had his mousey hair with streaks of grey, shaved close to his scalp and thin wire rimmed glasses perched on the end of his nose, which were an odd contrast as he looked like he had been in his fair share of fights.

His name was Evan Fleder and was a war veteran, he was also an ex alcoholic and had been sober for ten years. So he knew what he was talking about.

There were seven of us in the group, including me; Jason Maxwell, an ex surgeon in his fifties; Ryan Marsh, a college dropout barely into his twenties; Vicki Scott, the wife of banker; Julia Verne, an out of work writer; Aaron Howe, high fashion photographer.

The new guy was an emaciated looking dirty blond haired guy, sitting to the right of Evan and leaning forward in his chair, chewing on the skin around his right thumb.

"Everyone this is Nolan Fray, Nolan why don't you tell us a bit about yourself?" he leaned back and in a slow, thick east end accent he explained in a few words how he experimented with drugs and alcohol as a kid on a rough part of London. As he became broke he took on odd jobs as his need for drugs and alcohol increased, it soon led to crime and in turn the stint that landed him with a jail sentence.

"Would anyone else like to share with the group? Someone we haven't heard from before?" Evan's eyes scanned the group and lingered on me, I lowered my head and stayed quiet like the rest hoping he would past over me. "Jacob, we haven't heard from you at all. Care to share?"

Damn.

"I'm not sure-"

"You are in a safe place Jacob, no one is judging you here" that was true, many of the people sat next to me had done things just as bad if not worse things than me, it was why we were all here in the first place.

Yet, even here he felt like he shouldn't be here. He had issues like the people here, but they all had bad childhoods, traumatic events that had sparked their fall in using alcohol or drugs or both as a crutch. But I didn't I started drinking, no more than anyone else and then I found myself needed more than one drink in the evenings, drinking not just when I was with friends but when I was alone.

After that, it got worse when I was on my own until I was drunk most of the time and barely remembered anything.

"I have a great family, an uneventful childhood. I've never been in trouble with the law at all but I started drinking more than I used to. At first I drank no more than anyone else, most of the times it was only with my friends then I drank more and often on my own. After I split up with my partner, I drank enough to put me in a coma...but I still drank despite pleas from my family" I breathed out, looking at the floor the entire time.

It was all seared into my mind, most of the nights after the accident and in jail, I either dreamt about it or thought about it as I stared up at the ceiling.

_"Can we just stop the car?"_

"One night I had been drinking and I got behind the wheel, my ex partner tried to convince me not to drive drunk or too give him the keys"

_"Jake, pull over and I can drive" I shook my head, taking a hand off the wheel to get out a cigarette. "Fucking hell!" he grabbed the wheel and turned it to avoid us crashing into the back end of a truck as I still had my foot on the accelerator. Lighting up as he kept his hands on the steering wheel and I took a puff, rolling down the window then putting my hands back on the steering wheel._

"But I wouldn't listen"

_"Can you at least slow down a bit?" getting off the motorway we got to a set of traffic lights, ignoring Edward's pleas for to stop I went past the lights despite the fact it had turned red._

"And I got into an accident which nearly _killed_ someone else and my partner" my voice broke towards the end and I realised my cheeks were wet.

_My car spun around due to the force of the hit and the airbags went off, my seatbelt cutting into my chest as it kept me from flying forwards out of my seat and through the windscreen. When the car came to a stop, I blinked rapidly as my vision had gone a bit blurry, when my vision cleared I turned to look at Edward and saw him slumped back in the seat with blood trickling down the side of his forehead._

_"Oh, no. No, no, no" fumbling with the belt, my fingers felt heavy and clumsy and in my panic it took a couple of tries to get it unbuckled. Sitting up, I leaned over the gear stick to unbuckle his belt and check his pulse._

"It was my fault because I had been drinking and didn't listen"

Wiping my cheeks hastily, I glanced up and everyone was silent but looked to me with supportive glances.

"Thank you for sharing with us Jacob, owning your mistakes is only one part of getting better and making a new life" Said Evan with a sympathetic smile. "How about a short break and we'll be back in five"

**~X~X~X~**

"Hey" greeted Edward as I got in, he was going through house listings and put down the paper as I shrugged off my jacket and hung it up.

"Hi"

"Good meeting?"

"It was...helpful" he smiled and stood up.

"Glad to hear it" he paused and glanced to the window, I kicked off my shoes and motioned for him to walk with me to the window. I was gasping for a cigarette, well if I was honest I could do with a drink but settled for a cigarette.

"You okay, you look fidgety" it was true he kept moving, shifting from one foot to the other and looking everywhere.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I wanted to ask you something actually" I raised an eyebrow and released a puff of smoke out the window.

"Ask away"

"Will you go out with me?"

"What do you mean?" I took another puff, tapping the cigarette so the excess ash fell into the ashtray on the window sill.

"Go on a date with me" he said and I raised an eyebrow, he ran a hand through his hair and sighed. "I was thinking about it and we never really dated"

"Yes, we did" he shook his head.

"No, not really. We jumped into a relationship and moved in together soon after, we never had a first date before never did the whole getting to know each other thing that most people do"

"So, you want to go on a date?" I stubbed out the half smoked cigarette and crossed my arms as he took a step closer.

"I want to go on a first date"

"Okay" I said with a smile and he gave me the adorable crooked grin that made my heart race and due the proximity of him, it also made me want to kiss him.

"Really?"

"Really" I nodded and he took another step closer to kiss me, it was barely a brush of his lips against mine but it was perfect.

"Great" he said still smiling happily.

"So, when are you taking me out? I'm not easy you know, I'm gonna need to be wined and dined" I sighed airily and he chuckled.

"How about I pick you up on Friday at seven?"

"Sounds good" we smiled at each widely.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**There we go in the next chapter I will cover the 'first' date!**

**Hope this makes up for the long delay on the previous chapter, until next time.**

**Thank you for reading!**


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